SailorMars1994
Well-Known Member
Ok, so i made a comment here a couple days ago or so then deleted it. Now I am going to try and re-comment what i had said. Here we go
So, for avery long time i have been dealing with gender dysphoria. I find that i am happiest being female. However, I have had doubters try and talk me out of living my life. One issue with my OCD is i obsess about the negative so it got me thinking i wasnt a female. So, this obsessions became a compulsion and I tried being male... results ended with me not only being miserable, but irritable. I would do things I hadnt done ever or atleast have no memory of doing. I would be so riddled with anxiety and panic I would rip my hair out, bite myself, hit myself, ect. I saw a Dr and he told me this sounds like a ''meltdown'' that some people on the Autism Spectrum have. I was kinda shocked when i discovered this, but yes I can see it. But this going back and forth lasted months. I have been living as myself since atleast early this year and have felt much better. Infact since April I have never felt better to be honest and life is not just livable, but enjoyable. You see, the whole meltdown thing probably happened due to a dramatic change, and for me it was awful. I am bad with change, I noticed that even a slight change in what I am used to can bring very anxious feelings and make me a bit scared.
I have noticed to I have a few intrestes like poltics, history and such. I find I am totally hooked on these things. Idk about obsessed but I love them so much! but my intrests seem somewhat limited. I also apprently am fixated on two breeds of dogs (Long haired Alaskan Malamute and the Lassie-type dogs)
I guess, is it normal to have a 'meltdown'' to that degree on a near daily basis. I should mention that I am on medication for those meltdown and it is given to people with ASD to help them. I am also on a higher doesage of estrogen which I find helps me a lot in calming my emotions. I find that i am doing better these days as a whole and have my goals and dreams back. So not all of life is sucking anymore but, nevertheless, it has been on heck of a ride.
Love
So, for avery long time i have been dealing with gender dysphoria. I find that i am happiest being female. However, I have had doubters try and talk me out of living my life. One issue with my OCD is i obsess about the negative so it got me thinking i wasnt a female. So, this obsessions became a compulsion and I tried being male... results ended with me not only being miserable, but irritable. I would do things I hadnt done ever or atleast have no memory of doing. I would be so riddled with anxiety and panic I would rip my hair out, bite myself, hit myself, ect. I saw a Dr and he told me this sounds like a ''meltdown'' that some people on the Autism Spectrum have. I was kinda shocked when i discovered this, but yes I can see it. But this going back and forth lasted months. I have been living as myself since atleast early this year and have felt much better. Infact since April I have never felt better to be honest and life is not just livable, but enjoyable. You see, the whole meltdown thing probably happened due to a dramatic change, and for me it was awful. I am bad with change, I noticed that even a slight change in what I am used to can bring very anxious feelings and make me a bit scared.
I have noticed to I have a few intrestes like poltics, history and such. I find I am totally hooked on these things. Idk about obsessed but I love them so much! but my intrests seem somewhat limited. I also apprently am fixated on two breeds of dogs (Long haired Alaskan Malamute and the Lassie-type dogs)
I guess, is it normal to have a 'meltdown'' to that degree on a near daily basis. I should mention that I am on medication for those meltdown and it is given to people with ASD to help them. I am also on a higher doesage of estrogen which I find helps me a lot in calming my emotions. I find that i am doing better these days as a whole and have my goals and dreams back. So not all of life is sucking anymore but, nevertheless, it has been on heck of a ride.
Love
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