Are Aspies Non-Conformist?

[Calibar]

I do think conformists are personally insulted when you do not conform to their style. To them it implies someone was strong enough to rise above their dogma. This makes them feel inadequate and what they desire more than anything else is to "put that person in their place" even if they stop themselves from doing so. Subconsciously it still affects them. Human nature...

 

[Bella Pines]

I think Aspies are less likely to get sucked into the vacuum of popular trends and fads.

I do too. Also, when I get sucked into trends (I actually own a fidget spinner), it is by choice. I can see it as a fad and choose how and when to involve myself.

But I do think there is a trend whereby aspies view the herd from the outside. I would imagine that many resistance movements through history were inspired by aspies. I think that we see things more clearly AND we see patterns.

For example, I had a 'discussion' only recently with my (extremely NT) mother in law.

She claims that it is only right that people wear deodorant or perfume and it's shocking and offensive when people do not.

I conceded the fact that for the minority with extreme body odor, this is a good plan, but for the majority of the population, perfume and deodorant is a ridiculous invention and only exists as a way for pharmaceutical giants to make money.

I mean humans have been smelling natural (like, I don't know, humans) for millions of years. Flowers smell like flowers to attract bees. Now, suddenly, in the last few hundred years, humans are spraying on synthetic hydrocarbons in some bizarre attempt to try and smell like a flower. Are we trying to attract bees? She countered with the fact that she likes the smell of flowers. I pointed out that I like the smell of gasoline in a musty garage, but that doesn't mean I go dousing myself in petrol.

She did not see my point.

So yes. I do not conform to ANYTHING at all, unless I chose to.

 

[kay]

When I was in jr. high and high school I thought conforming to fashion would solve my social problems so I subscribed to the right magazines and went to the mall and tried to smear makeup on my face. And it didn't work, didn't solve anything nor did I ever learn to conform. I did learn to wipe makeup off the second I got to school, had some meltdowns at the mall (if I was at the mall for a movie I'd just vomit instead) and learned how silly the whole thing was. After learning those lessons I pretty much had a "uniform". T shirt, plaid button up shirt or cardigan and jeans. I have continued to forget my early learned lessons from time to time, but I relearn them quickly and get back to those plaid shirts.

 

[Alaska]

After reading many threads here I began to wonder if, in general, people with Asperger's tend to be more non-conformist than NTs. By that I mean do Aspies tend get into the latest fads or have little or no interest in them? Or is it the same with Aspies as it is with NTs--Some do, some don't and it's simply not an Asperger's trait?

I have read Aspies referring to themselves as non-conformist however I don't think they were talking about fads or popular culture. That part I get.

I am in the non-conformist category. I pay no attention whatsoever to popular culture except when it directly affects me, sometimes against my will.

If I have to be around groups of people a lot, I will make an effort to look more conformist. I resent having to spend time on something that is so pointless.

My solution lately is to avoid places and groups that require that I look somewhat conformist.

It seems funny to me that people who claim to be non-conformist often travel in herds and conform to each other.

I am only non-conformist by default. I put a lot of thought into what I wear for many practical reasons, including that it will last for many years. Fads do not fit well with this approach.

 

[Judge]

If I have to be around groups of people a lot, I will make an effort to look more conformist. I resent having to spend time on something that is so pointless.

My solution lately is to avoid places and groups that require that I look somewhat conformist.

It seems funny to me that people who claim to be non-conformist often travel in herds and conform to each other.

I am only non-conformist by default. I put a lot of thought into what I wear for many practical reasons, including that it will last for many years. Fads do not fit well with this approach.

Good points. One thing for sure in my own case. With self-awareness I've also become somewhat "militant" about when and where I will try to earnestly mimic NT behavior. As strange as it may sound, for most of my life when I had no idea what or how I was doing it, I just did it automatically. Go figure.

Sometimes I wish I had known so much earlier. As if a little voice in my head told me, "Dude! You're exhausted over this because it's inherently not your nature!"

 

[JamesBon92007]

When I was in jr. high and high school I thought conforming to fashion would solve my social problems so I subscribed to the right magazines and went to the mall and tried to smear makeup on my face. And it didn't work, didn't solve anything nor did I ever learn to conform. I did learn to wipe makeup off the second I got to school, had some meltdowns at the mall (if I was at the mall for a movie I'd just vomit instead) and learned how silly the whole thing was. After learning those lessons I pretty much had a "uniform". T shirt, plaid button up shirt or cardigan and jeans. I have continued to forget my early learned lessons from time to time, but I relearn them quickly and get back to those plaid shirts.

You struck a cord in me--shopping malls. I cannot negotiate them and fear that I may never find my way out or where I parked my car. Besides that, out of all of those hundreds of stores there may not be a single item that I wish to purchase for myself. I found a "Where's My Car" app for my phone which helps but the only way I will go to a mall is to buy a gift for someone that I really, really care about and I can't find it on eBay. I used to be overwhelmed by grocery stores too but have learned to deal with them.

 

[Ambi]

After reading many threads here I began to wonder if, in general, people with Asperger's tend to be more non-conformist than NTs. By that I mean do Aspies tend get into the latest fads or have little or no interest in them? Or is it the same with Aspies as it is with NTs--Some do, some don't and it's simply not an Asperger's trait?

I have read Aspies referring to themselves as non-conformist however I don't think they were talking about fads or popular culture. That part I get.

I am in the non-conformist category. I pay no attention whatsoever to popular culture except when it directly affects me, sometimes against my will.

I think we're not motivated by the same factors as NTs when it comes to what we are going to adopt in terms of beliefs, practices, and interests. There is often a strong social factor that guides them in their selection. As for me - I had this weird averse reaction from the time I was a teenager - I actually have an aversion for all things considered to be "cool". I have an aversion to "coolness". By that I mean I can only like what I genuinely like - I get disturbed by groups of people being moved to like something just because it's "cool", i.e. socially desired.

 

[Katleya]

After giving this more reflexion, I think that us admitting to not sharing certain tastes is unexpected to NTs, all the more so that it is somehow unconventional to express a diverging opinion.
And this probably triggers a whole range of reactions and concerns in them:
1. NT: "This person is not like me."
2. NT "So... I can't predict their actions?"
3. Fear of the unknown sets in.
4. Fight or flight reaction kicks in.

We are, in a way, better equipped to handle that, because most of us are already pretty used to noticing we're not like the person in front of us. We've already had our share of rejection, too, and I'm certain the social anxiety many of us displays is another expression of that "fear of the unknown", too.

Bottom line is Aspies 1:0 NTs, we win this round.

 

[Thursday]

When it comes to trends, I just go for what naturally feels right to whatever extent I can get away with it. We don't even follow some age-old norms, so trends are at the bottom of the pile.

My husband and I don't watch the news on tv, for example. I prefer watching documentaries, he reads about it online when he's feeling up for it. We find it draining to keep up with things on a daily basis and be bombarded with noisy celebrity segments.

I've noticed that there is this knee-jerk reaction that makes me uninterested in what's currently "in". Perhaps it's because of the times I've given trends a shot in the past and saw nothing special.

Often, I feel like people go clockwise and I go counter-clockwise. That's okay with me.

 

[Warmheart]

 

[Jimbo]

I've always gone out of my way to not comform. While the rest of the world has to have the latest in technology and electronics I am perfectly happy doing things the old way. I hate smart phones, although I have one just for business use.

I never watch the tv shows everybody is into or movies. I don't think I've ever watched a movie all the way through.

 

[S-Head]

Well yeah, we were uncool non-conformist before it was cool

That being said, I have a couple of issues with the term non-conformist; to me it seems as if it's a deliberate choice by an individual not to conform to the norm, or a judgment passed on them by the conforming others. I may be reading too much into this, though.
I also feel that many people who label themselves as non-conformist actually end up conforming very strictly to their own alternative norm, so I guess they failed at non-conformity or something?

I think we as Aspies are less prone to falling for fads, because we're uber-logical beings. If it makes sense to us and/or piques our curiosity, we'll go for it, but if it doesn't, well, it just won't stick.

I see it as being trend-proof: it doesn't catch on me, no matter how much you inundate me with it. I do try to keep up on current things in pop culture, and every once in a while I find something that I want to look into more, but I'm never on the same train as everyone else, I was either on that train waaaaaay before this was a thing (not trying to sound hipster here) or I've missed the train, and won't think to try and catch it until possibly years later.
I also have no interest in the concept of trends. Why should I care that this or that is fashionable or in at the moment? I'm supposed to do it solely because other people do it? Why?

I recently got into a mild argument with someone whose life and system of beliefs was apparently completely challenged because I have never watched Game of Thrones. I haven't because I've never felt like it, period. I'm not saying it's bad or a waste of time. I understand some people like the books or the show, and good for them. But why should I be judged because it hasn't aroused any curiosity in me? I've seen about 5 mn of it once, by accident. I think my cat feels more emotion when I'm organizing a closet while he's sleeping than I've felt during those 5 mn. And the person I was talking to seemed to be personally offended that I had no interest. Why? I would love to know what causes this reaction. Do NTs feel insecure when their tastes aren't shared? Do they feel that maybe it's a way of telling them they're wrong? Are they just frustrated they can't exchange on that topic? Are we disrupting some sort of continuum?

Katleya, this sounds like a "Type I" (type eye) person: Personality Types of DISC: I Personality Type (Influential)

I don't have a lot of use for them. I had hired one to work for me, and they caused nothing but trouble for my company. Coincidentally, they expounded off about Game of Thrones as well. Idiot. This one's mission in life was to make everyone happy. He would keep working you until he got you happy. He never got me happy. It must be the AS in me.

 

[FreeDiver]

Are Aspies Non-Conformist? I would think the word "Can't-Conformist" would be more appropriate. Think about it, how many of you wish that you could conform to the norm, not for any length of time, but just for that brief moment to avoid "rocking the boat" for say. I think that most of the non-conforming issues with aspies are not so much by choice, but more because of social interaction issues.

 

[Lee954]

Personally I just want there to be a place for me in the world...and I'd be prepared to pretty much whatever's required to make that happen.

 

[ksheehan88]

I've never been one for what is "popular" at any given time. I like my own stuff. Part of the reason I got bullied. For instance, when at school it was all about hiphop/rap/girlbands/charts or whatever, and whilst I really liked Eminems first two albums because lyrically I found them hysterical (except for Stan - never did like that one), I mainly listened to UB40, Queen, Madness, The Specials, Culture Club etc. At that point in time, no one my age had any idea who any of them were, I was stunned by that lol.

 

[Katleya]

Katleya, this sounds like a "Type I" (type eye) person: Personality Types of DISC: I Personality Type (Influential)

I don't have a lot of use for them. I had hired one to work for me, and they caused nothing but trouble for my company. Coincidentally, they expounded off about Game of Thrones as well. Idiot. This one's mission in life was to make everyone happy. He would keep working you until he got you happy. He never got me happy. It must be the AS in me.

I had never heard of this, and this is very informative.
I also have a feeling my enthusiastic, trying-to-be normal mask gives off an I vibe (help!), and I think this is probably very, very misleading for those who cast me to be the hype man. If I'm being honest, the only reason I'm very good at leading teams is because I'm terrible at being part of one, and the only way to be a liiiittle aside is to be higher up, but I understand that some people's expectations are probably, umm, crushed? The moral of the story is that faking does me no good.

So that was actually doubly informative. I must thank you twice.
(What is it that triggers NTs who watch Game of Thrones? Is that, like, their Achille's heel or something?)

 

[S-Head]

I had never heard of this, and this is very informative.
I also have a feeling my enthusiastic, trying-to-be normal mask gives off an I vibe (help!), and I think this is probably very, very misleading for those who cast me to be the hype man. If I'm being honest, the only reason I'm very good at leading teams is because I'm terrible at being part of one, and the only way to be a liiiittle aside is to be higher up, but I understand that some people's expectations are probably, umm, crushed? The moral of the story is that faking does me no good.

So that was actually doubly informative. I must thank you twice.
(What is it that triggers NTs who watch Game of Thrones? Is that, like, their Achille's heel or something?)

The DiSC profiles are a whole science by themselves, so it may be a good idea to read up on it a little. All "Type I" are not necessarily bad people! Just the ones I've dealt with. DiSC is intended to help, in a business context, to learn how to deal with other types of people. After a test, each person will have the characteristics of one or more of DiSC, and varying strengths.

If I want to be crass, the NT that I am talking about was just thrilled that he found a show that his wife allowed him to watch, and it was like a soap opera where the guys at the top are all "Type I" where the manipulated each other and stabbed each other in the back, and it included nudity and sex. This NT stabbed the company in the back and stole a few customers on the way out.

Sooo... any Type I that loooves shows like Game of Thrones automatically gets a red flag from me.

 

[ksheehan88]

Pfft, I ****ing love Game of Thrones! Though, I did only start watching it when season 5 came out... I watched the first 4 seasons back to back