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Why People with Aspergers Feel Stuck and Scared (and what do do about it)

I stumbled upon this site 2 or 3 years ago. Great site with a lot of information. I even paid for some of their programs b/c I am desperate. Best site to learn about ASD (except for this site of course). Unfortunately, in practice I have not had a whole lot of success in implementing the strategies. But it gives me hope. It is hard b/c I don't have anyone in my life to directly assist with implementing the strategies. Support would help a lot. Not surprising that the most educational site regarding ASD is created by an individual who has aspergers who knows firsthand the struggles. Yet, mainstream therapists, doctors, teachers, etc can't figure it out. The website talks about why traditional therapies are so ineffective and mostly a waste of time and money.
 
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mw2530 said:
Best site to learn about ASD (except for this site of course). Unfortunately, in practice I have not had a whole lot of success in implementing the strategies.
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That because Aspergers Experts is in a way, a fraud. I can tell you right now that nobody that works for Aspergers Experts is on the spectrum. The head guy that looks like an aspie is, in fact, an NT acting like an aspie. I know, I met him in person up in Seattle and saw the studio he works at. It's owned and operated by group of doctors.

I took a trip to Seattle and decided to pay a visit to the AE studios and I would say that I was very disappointed with what I saw.

I'm not saying that what they are doing is bad and do have some good information there. It's just the fact that they are pretending to be aspies that I don't like. I consider it deception.
 
I started looking at all of the free information and videos on that site last year. I finally gave up on it as I don't really have the money to buy the programs. I can well see the cycles he is talking about as I've experienced it all my life. But, again, I feel the earlier you get to knowing what Aspergers is all about the more chance you have of Thriving. I'm too old to go back and Thrive. Just want to survive now as comfortably as possible. And I have no support person either.
 
FreeDiver said:
The head guy that looks like an aspie is, in fact, an NT acting like an aspie.
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How do you know he was an NT acting as an aspie?

While some of their information sounds good, I am a bit skeptical about Asperger's Experts. For me the problem is that everything comes across as so slick. It's just like a lot of the other self-help material out there in that it repackages a lot of commonly understood ideas using new lingo in order to appear as insightful. "Being With It", for example, sounds an awful lot like mindfulness. Mindfulness is great, so why can't they call it that?

The biggest warning sign for me is the lack of data in supporting their claims. I see a lot of testimonials on the site (especially from the creators themselves) but not a lot of statistics or links to studies. The creators of the program claim to be on the spectrum and that these methods have worked for them. That is a good place to start, but it is not a guarantee that their method works for other people. It certainly isn't evidence that their program is better than other programs.

Then there is the fine print on their site, which pretty much says it all.
Disclaimer: We are not Psychological or Therapy Professionals. You should always seek the advice of a Professional before deciding the right treatment option for you or your child. Any advice we give is for educational and informational purposes only, and should not be considered medical, legal or financial advice. Consult with a medical doctor before making any changes to you or your child's lifestyle. This website is for information only, and not a replacement for professional diagnosis, medication, or therapy.
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That said, I liked the article. The freeze cycle sounds like something I've been dealing with my whole life. It's a great way of describing something I've been experiencing my whole life. Being too scared and bewildered to even talk to my peers especially resonated. I also find myself locked in a cycle where any time I try to move forward with education, employment, or music (which is supposed to be fun) I shut down, overwhelmed by my own expectations and a deluge of contingencies.

I wonder if it is really specific to people on the spectrum though. I mean, the expression might be different, but I am sure countless alistic people also suffer from debilitating anxiety that stunts their development, right?
 
Aspergers Experts are all about getting you into their multi-day seminars, which seem to be focused upon explaining topics to NTs. It is all about revenue. A friend of mine gave me a few of their emails and it was all "buy now", "limited seats available", "fantastic opportunity". Great marketing.
 
I looked at the site last night. The impression I came away with was exactly what @Keigan said. Slick marketing focused on generating revenue.
 
The word "expert" used in the title of an advertisement automatically switches off my attention.
 
Amy Susan Rose said:
Found this on a site called Aspergers Experts. This site contains much useful information for those who are on the Spectrum along with their caregivers. The Freeze Loop: Why people with Asperger’s seem stuck & scared (and what to do about it) — Asperger Experts
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Not getting into the legalities of the Aspergers Experts site... I liked the way the guy explained it. For me that is often exactly how I feel (even the shaking part). I shake horribly sometimes and it freaks me out, and to hear him say that gives me comfort, that it is part of who I am.

I get it, they want to make some money... That seems to offset some people. But maybe the real question is simple. Does it work? Has anyone immersed themselves in this, or is it just speculation? I'm a digger, so even if it helps a little, they have the right to try and make a living. I kind of have this thing where people are against people who try and make money, but thats just me. Please don't take offense...

If its a scam then its a scam and needs to be taken out, but often people just see a fee and instantly call it a scam and that bugs me a little. I have come to learn nothing in life is free, not even information... So I am one of the ignorant ones who will try things and sometimes I wish I hadn't, but sometimes I come out of it with some little piece of something that was worth knowing. Maybe I am just naive, but I just try and glean any bits and pieces of good from things and use them. If they work cool, if not at least I tried.

It's not like the guy is promising a cure for Aspergers... Hell I pay a counselor 200 dollars an hour and don't see much reason for it, but over time it has helped a lot... So was it worth it? I don't know what amount is the limit for trying to bring out the real me. Some people will say no it wasn't. I have to say yes it is because I learn more and more about who I am and how to maneuver my thoughts to match my actions... If there was zero progress then yes, it would be a waste...

My biggest issue is getting stuck... I try very hard to let stuff go, and I try mindfulness, because I do get stuck and its horribly frustrating... very frustrating to the point I get stuck on being frustrated and then I get pissed at myself and it often turns into a self hatred thing and I know that isnt good, or good for me. The mindfulness thing... I guess I need some help on. I cant shut my brain off long enough to get into it, but I keep trying.

So I will look for, and appreciate whatever I can find that helps me snap out of a funk. I hope the guy isn't faking, he seems genuine in what he is saying and I'm cool with it either way I guess. We are just people trying to make it in a physical existence and some of us (me) have a tough time with it.

I'm just one of those guys that is thankfully open minded, probably too gullible at times... but that gives me an inner hope that I can always change little by little.

Compared to what I was 10 years ago... I'm not even the same person. I had people threatening to force me into rehab or assisted living because my social skills were to the point of zero. I had shut down so bad I just quit communicating all together... I was so depressed I had no want to live... So maybe I just look at things from a very different lens.

I still have to watch out for going past a shut down into really shutting down. Its just in me to not want to be social with anyone (no matter who they are)... Thats not who I want to be, its just my only way of defending myself from this massive input of stuff I don't know what to do with.

I know I don't fit in. I know I can be one weird ass SOB and not ever mean to be like that. Sadly that usually happens when I am trying my very best to bust out of that loop this guy was discussing, and then I throw myself right back into it. Then I am worse off, because I am angry with myself for being such a weird ass who has such wrong timing and never knows the right things to say. So I just don't say anything and stand there looking stupid mostly. It sucks and I sometimes hate myself over it.

So I have to use anything I can to try and not just shut the whole world out... Thanks for the information I think its reasonable to always try and improve ourselves and sometimes there maybe a cost involved. : )
 
Keigan said:
Aspergers Experts are all about getting you into their multi-day seminars, which seem to be focused upon explaining topics to NTs. It is all about revenue. A friend of mine gave me a few of their emails and it was all "buy now", "limited seats available", "fantastic opportunity". Great marketing.
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So perhaps you could explain why your seminars are (fundamentally) different -
Aspergers Coaching | Asperger Syndrome Life Coach
 
I suspect Keigan is a charlatan. He dismisses other people's marketing, but promotes his own. Perhaps he can prove me wrong.

if we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.
- Carl Sagan
 
tachyon said:
I suspect Keigan is a charlatan. He dismisses other people's marketing, but promotes his own. Perhaps he can prove me wrong
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thanks for your thoughts and explanation :)
I disagree with you. Perhaps because I've already shared thoughts/conversation with Keigan, previous to looking at his marketing and generally speaking like his approach to various things (in threads)?
Perhaps because of that I won't look at his site in the same way you might?
 
Gracey said:
thanks for your thoughts and explanation :)
I disagree with you. Perhaps because I've already shared thoughts/conversation with Keigan, previous to looking at his marketing and generally speaking like his approach to various things (in threads)?
Perhaps because of that I won't look at his site in the same way you might?
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Good luck with that. Would love to know how that works out for you (honestly).
 
Gracey - no problem.
I am a very old aspie and perhaps I should not have engaged this thread, but smelled a rat based on previous life experiences.
You should do whatever you feel is correct and I will not post anything further on this thread.
 
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