What are people's opinions on this?
I know I can't expect a person with AS to act NT.
Talking to friends is hard as they don't understand AS.
I'm not with anyone now but thinking of my ex. We both have AS.
It simply didn't work out but I do miss him. I think I'm at a place now where I can be friends, while being open to getting back together (but things would have to be different) but also dating others with an open mind.
But yeh a quick chat with friends -since I do most of the initiating conversations and I'm the one saying let's talk about feelings they make me feel bad about the relationship. They doubt our connection and it makes me question if I'm being a doormat or if they just don't get that caring for someone with AS means changing your expectations.
I was at peace with the situation before, I find it hard to maintain boundaries when others project their expectations onto me.
I have plenty of trouble connecting with NT's and trusting lots of NT's (the second one is for the reason
@Chance mentioned). I have very poor social and communication skills and it results in lots of miscommunications on my end, as well as me saying or doing something that makes the other person upset. The miscommunication also happens to make the other person upset. This ends up resulting in me being nervous around the person I made upset, which leads to even further awkwardness. On top of it all, it's just hard for me to withstand all the intensity of the NT's, so few people that I can just be myself around - and there IS no other me on this whole planet. I've never gone on a date before, and I'm not sure I ever will. Everyone thinks I'm extremely weird and often ask me why I do what I do. I don't always have an answer, because I sometimes don't know myself. The fact that I also cycle over anxieties over and over again asking NT's for reassurance also contributes to the awkwardness and ultimately my hurt feelings. I am extremely sensitive to people overreacting to me, and I CANNOT STAND conflict of any kind, very much like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.
I only have 3 actual friends, they're fairly new friends since I've been a lone wolf for the majority of my life - and I still have social troubles when I communicate with them...but so far so good, they didn't leave me (yet? I keep worrying about that constantly, even if there are no signs). I can be a really good friend to them, but at the same time I tend to be very needy and make too many demands. That makes me worry about scaring them off and I can't afford to let that happen again. Per my therapist's suggestion, I've managed to become a bit less needy. I used to text them every day and ask them to hang out every weekend. Every day, every weekend. It's a miracle I even managed to make any in the first place and I cannot let go, ever. I never let go of anything, and I need to keep these people in my life forever. Having someone there for me makes me actually be human and not an empty shell.
As for most of the other people...I just pushed them all away when I was in college because I tried way too hard to fit in, and with my social skills being even worse I ended up becoming the most hated student in my department. I was a pariah, pretty much. I ended up being loud, obnoxious, annoying, rude and some of my jokes even bordered on sexual - and all this without me being aware that I did it. Only realized how off-putting I've been after an intervention was done by a professor and group of students. I had no real friends in college...I did meet one really cool guy before becoming this "unsocial" butterfly, but he died in a motorcycle accident - which shows just how much I'm not meant to have friends. For the record I'm not even sure if he would have become annoyed by me later on but I do know that he was an extremely nice fellow. I would most definitely never ride a motorcycle, though.
Only a handful of people never (or rarely) get annoyed by me - and that's a miracle of its own. I'm very hard to get along with and I come with an instruction manual. Not only do I have really bad social skills, but I never even got to practice them as a child; I only had one friend (also socially awkward, moved to another city later) and otherwise I've been a lone wolf by choice because I was still shy. I've also had my fair share of bullying, ridicule and ignoring done to me so I know what it feels like. I feel like it's gonna take me years to get at least decent in mingling with NT's.