What made you go out and get a diagnosis

[HisShadowX]

My story is long but for years I knew something was wrong with me. In fact I often denied it. I was always very good faking certain faces on how I felt and whenever I made a mistake in the social arena made it seem I was playing.

More often than not it was trial and error and I have made a lot of errors.

I'm getting older now when I turned 28 I noticed my face was always tired. When I engage in a conversation I knowingly change my facial expressions and sometimes those expressions stick without me noticing or perhaps the wrong expression is showing.

This thanksgiving it was hinting my wife was done with me. Her use for me was over. She was tired of struggling and more importantly tired of me. To be fair she expected a provider something I never have been but I look it.

For example my current job it took my fellow co workers a month or two to understand they were not on the show undercover boss because they were so sure I was the boss because I dress well and talk well due to my years of doing call centers.

Christmas Eve she told me she wished to get divorced.

I was at work browsing the Internet and I saw this site.

I Have Asperger's and I Read Your Comments Too - Empathize This

It made me read more into autism and Aspergers in general. My youngest son was diagnosed after I pushed him to be tested after my wife was in denial.

Once I saw that I focused on finding a psychologist which eventually led to a clinical psychologist and I got diagnosed.

I am trying to find ways to turn this diagnosis in a way to better myself and get the help I need but it's still been hard.

I don't know if it's just me but I always felt I had bad luck and couldn't understand misfortune after misfortune that has happened to me and I am interested in knowing if the people who got diagnosed by themselves did it take a situation to get them diagnosed?

 

[Progster]

Yes, I had misfortune after misfortune too in that I had trouble with keeping employment - I always either quit or got fired. I had also always felt disconnected and different to other people, and had difficulties making friends. In 2012 I lost a job and got another one in quick succession, but I couldn't cope or adjust to my new job and I started to have severe anxiety issues to the point that I became very ill and could no longer continue. I had read previously about AS and knew that I had a lot of traits, but after that I was sure, and decided to seek a diagnosis and help.The clincher was that when I mentioned that I may have AS to my mum, she told me that she thought I had it too, and told be that, unbeknown to me, a teacher at school had thought I had autism and I'd even been taken to the doctor about it. My mum encouraged me and helped me to seek a diagnosis.

 

[On the Inside]

I am the classic "Wife Diagnosed" Aspie.

Your story sounds quite a bit like mine. While I've always been employed, it has not been a dynamic career, it pays well enough to get by and provide for my family ( my partner doesn't work), but I often feel I'm lucky to have a job.

My partner is also very dissatisfied, and I've gotten to the point that I feel there's not much I can do about that, so what she wants to do is up to her.

I was diagnosed a couple of years ago, after a long rather fruitless course of therapy with a psychologist who thought I had ADD. He ignored my other traits, as well as my anxiety, which was through the roof. He thought all that other stuff would dissipate once my ADD was treated.

Eventually my partner was too frustrated with my progress and wanted me to see a different therapist, she had done some research and thought that aspergers, or High functioning autism sounded more accurate. She did some ground work and made an appointment to get an evaluation (usually one would need their Dr.'s referral, we skipped that step, since my Dr. didn't think that was the problem).

Diagnosis came back positive for HFA Autism (Asperger's) with high anxiety and ADD. That got me to find a therapist who specializes in ASD, and get a psychiatrist to prescribe me anti-anxiety medication.

Diagnosis and treatment hasn't been enough for my partner, she wants results, like my symptoms and traits should be in remission, or disappearing by now. I maintain I've made a lot of progress, but she says if I have it hasn't been enough.

I fully sympathize with you, and wish you the best going forward. This takes a lot of understanding and patience, from ourselves and those around us.

 

[nyxjord]

I sympathize with you- it's difficult for nt's to understand and work with us. I personally sought my diagnosis after trying for 20 years to fit into 'normal' society and always failing no matter how hard I tried. To this day it's like there's wall that's between me and nt's that I can't seem to get around. When I've read other Autie's stories, it wag like hearing my own so I feel pretty confident that the specialist who made the diagnosis was correct.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I was sick and tired of being told I was riddled with allergies and tumors because I was prone to colds (that weren't contagious) and cleaning chemicals mess me up. And wondering why other people were so helpless, clingy, had to have me to hold their hand or entertain them constantly, and why they were constantly lying (like calling me, verbatim, stupid and worthless one day but denying it the next). Turns out, I've got autism! A HUUGE relief. I can cope with a neurological difference better than I can allergies or tumors. I haven't found an answer for the social aspect yet, but I'm getting better at teaching people how to entertain themselves and be self-reliant. And getting better at telling the lying, abusive ones to bugger off.

I'm sticking to a self-diagnosis for now and keeping it quiet. Those jerks are rude enough just thinking I'm weird, but at least to some degree they respect me as an individual. If they found out I'm autistic, they'll just dismiss anything I tell them and treat me however they want because they'll say I'm too stupid to declare they should do otherwise to me. As I often say, I'm not anti-social. I'm well trained.

 

[On the Inside]

I was thinking on my walk back from my therapist just now. Thinking about what importance there is in when I was diagnosed. It has been a couple years now, but that struck me as irrelevant.

I have been an Aspie all my life, it has simply been recognized as such for a couple of years. I think I have finally and truly accepted that this is part of who I am, and I am comfortable with that, and ready to embrace it, regardless of the pain, struggle, and hardship it has caused. I can now fully recognize that Aspergers has also caused pain, struggle and hardship for those around me. For that I am deeply sorry, and ask for understanding and acceptance.

So in the end, what has made me get a diagnosis is the desire to get some answers to why I have struggled and suffered. To get help and support in making the best of what time I have left, finding peace and acceptance so that I can be a better person, father, partner, friend.

Peace to you all.

 

[Ylva]

My parents' nagging.

 

[Stik]

I diagnosed myself about a year ago but people weren't taking me seriously. I really felt the need to talk about it because it was such a big realization and made my life make sense. I got the official diagnosis because I wanted people to take me seriously.

 

[HisShadowX]

I was thinking on my walk back from my therapist just now. Thinking about what importance there is in when I was diagnosed. It has been a couple years now, but that struck me as irrelevant.

I have been an Aspie all my life, it has simply been recognized as such for a couple of years. I think I have finally and truly accepted that this is part of who I am, and I am comfortable with that, and ready to embrace it, regardless of the pain, struggle, and hardship it has caused. I can now fully recognize that Aspergers has also caused pain, struggle and hardship for those around me. For that I am deeply sorry, and ask for understanding and acceptance.

So in the end, what has made me get a diagnosis is the desire to get some answers to why I have struggled and suffered. To get help and support in making the best of what time I have left, finding peace and acceptance so that I can be a better person, father, partner, friend.

Peace to you all.

I understand how you feel friend. I feel the same way but than again I feel more frustration and aggravation that people close to me refused to try to understand me and find out what was wrong instead of playing doctor mom and assuming I was just stubborn and a bad person

 

[On the Inside]

I understand how you feel friend. I feel the same way but than again I feel more frustration and aggravation that people close to me refused to try to understand me and find out what was wrong instead of playing doctor mom and assuming I was just stubborn and a bad person

I've had some of that too, I think people are often quick to "diagnose" someone rather than take the time to listen, understand, let go of unattainable expectations and accept. I've always striven to accept people as they are and not identify them as wish fulfillment. It is hard enough for me to read other's motives, needs, and wants without me clouding it up with my own ideas.

 

[shakeitup94]

I was actually mistakenly diagnosed with depression at 16, then I had a nutter on my antidepressants went back and it switched to cyclothymia (basically mild bipolar). Then two years later my doc retired and I went to a new one who said it was Aspergers.

 

[The Penguin]

I met many people thought I had it so I figured I might as well find out. You can read details at Neurologist Appointment | AspiesCentral.com

 

[Suzanne]

There is no chance to get a professional diagnoses, but I definitely have aspergers; some recognise traits in me, due to either working with others with this or having family members who are aspies but males.

My story echoes that of many aspies. In and out of work; feeling that I am always on the edge; fighting against the tide of life; often left bitterly disappointed; very angry and flipping frustrated and a constant need to prove myself.

My husband is an nt and pretty typical of an nt who lacks understanding and thinks that now I know what is "wrong", I can start to heal and has nastily taken to mocking me: oh are we being too literal now or oh dear, I am looking at the smaller picture does that mean I am an aspie? He has no idea how much I hate him at times, or perhaps he does, but chooses to not take much notice!

Ironically, it was my husband who first alerted that I take things too literally and that I tend to hate the whole person and not just traits of a person.

He has always complained that he never seems to smell ok for me and yet, finally I said to him not long ago: wow what on earth is that smell ( with a grin and wink) and he said: oh my aftershave that I have had since I was a teen! That goes to show how much he likes to smell nice for his wife! He used to smoke and the smell just made me want to vomit and yet, he got insulted if I could not kiss him. He also has disgusting tastes in foods and so, I have to eat things that have a similar smell, so that I can bear to have him breathing in my face. I admit, I have not been very tactful in the past and do try very hard to be more tactful, but sometimes the smell is so sickening I am afraid I do come out with: oh my that smells awful. I related to my sense of smell to my childhood, where everything smelled awful due to bad hygiene etc, so to find out that this is an aspie trait, has blown me away!

I am either told by him that it is like I am not in the room or told that can I speak any louder than I do!

I guess being a female makes it a tad easier being an aspie, because we are not expected to be the breadwinners and thus, do not have a status to live up to.

My husband recently announced that he seems himself as my carer ( what)? I say: what! Because he goes out all day to work and thus, I am left completely to fend for myself ( I do not mind in the least being on my own) and then, when he comes home, he eats and then disappears lol so yep some carer ( I joke because he really has no idea then what a carer is all about).

But sorry I digress: I do not plan on getting a professional diagnoses; knowing I am is good enough for me.

 

[nyxjord]

Imo, your husband sounds cruel and almost vindictive.

 

[King_Oni]

Why I got out and get a diagnosis?

Lack of proper support for education and/or employment. Being a multiple time dropout from school and not being able to hold a job (and have been out on sick leave in the past due to a burnout; which I now could easily attribute to my ASD) does kinda put me in that situation.

Not to mention that I had an psych evaluation years ago as a request from social services to get access to welfare income... and that kinda lead from one thing to another. Before that; about 4 years ago, I was fine with just knowing I might be on the spectrum, but as it goes with many things in the world, having it black on white and official usually helps a bit more.

But I was 28 at the time I started this entire route from evaluations, to seeking out a therapist and getting diagnosed back in early 2012.

For me it's merely a formality to gain access to better support and services. Funny how it didn't really help me a lot in the past few years... still, it helped a bit, but nowhere the amount I'd hope it would.

 

[HisShadowX]

Why I got out and get a diagnosis?

Lack of proper support for education and/or employment. Being a multiple time dropout from school and not being able to hold a job (and have been out on sick leave in the past due to a burnout; which I now could easily attribute to my ASD) does kinda put me in that situation.

Not to mention that I had an psych evaluation years ago as a request from social services to get access to welfare income... and that kinda lead from one thing to another. Before that; about 4 years ago, I was fine with just knowing I might be on the spectrum, but as it goes with many things in the world, having it black on white and official usually helps a bit more.

But I was 28 at the time I started this entire route from evaluations, to seeking out a therapist and getting diagnosed back in early 2012.

For me it's merely a formality to gain access to better support and services. Funny how it didn't really help me a lot in the past few years... still, it helped a bit, but nowhere the amount I'd hope it would.

Good question and one I would happily answer. Self diagnosis is not a diagnosis it's perhaps the worst thing I feel a person can do to their self because we do not know or are qualified to properly diagnosis ourselves.

My Clinical Psychologists said it best a person cannot self diagnosis a mental disorder. Doing that you delay proper treatment for a disorder or trauma you actually have. A person can assume they have Aspergers but little do people know many people with Aspergers share many similarities to a sociopath or someone with PMDD.

It's like taking penicillin for a cold. To where penicillin is meant for a bacterial infection your self diagnosing and taking penicillin for a viral infection.

It's like me saying I have heart disease cause I know in my heart I have it and it runs in the family but when you finally get diagnosed you just so happen to have a bad set of acid reflex.

Or perhaps you have a lot of unprotected sex and well you assume and self diagnosis your troubles are a UTI.... Well than you find out later your Dr Mom strategy didn't play out to well because now you have AIDs and missed the opportunity to save yourself because cocktail won't help you know since you missed your period to properly be diagnosed with HIV before I turned into aids.

My mother had me self diagnosed as having a personality disorder. Keep in mind two years of college does not quality you to make those sort of decisions.

Go figure years later treatment, government support, and assistance are being denied to me now because I found out to late.

 

[baz]

A psychiatric nurse suggested I should be tested for aspergers, and at 51 and after a lifetime of struggling to cope with myself and all my peculiarities, I was diagnosed by a psychologist last year.
I had always been classed as mentally ill and been treated as such, but now I have aspergers I'm not mentally ill. My anxiety and depression and obsessive personality are symptoms of aspergers and not the actual condition, which was actually very liberating.
I'm very concerned that people on this forum self diagnose and then come on here assuming they are autistic, when in fact they don't actually know. I believe that until you have a diagnosis by a medical professional you should refrain from labelling your selves as such. I think it quite arrogant to make assumptions and possibly detrimental to your health, because you may have other conditions that are treatable and by giving yourself this label you are closing the door on any other conditions you may have.

 

[Christopher Nicholson]

Let's see. My doctors diagnosed me with dissociative identify disorder, massive depression, obessive compulsive disorder, narcolepsy, and all that with NOS on the end and wanted to continue testing. The main reason is that I love work and at my office and for what I do I am one of the best. I don't take vacations and I am never late. They said someone with my degree of social issues would not be able to function with people at work.

They suggested asperger's, I read about it, and within about 20min I saw myself. Asperger's seems to be that specific. This idea you have to have a diagnosis from a doctor otherwise you can't say you have it is silly. The symptoms are very specific and subjective. If my arm is broke in half do I need a doctor to tell it's broke in half?

Soon I had all sorts of tests and without a doubt asperger's, and it's not Win a prize! It's a feeling of things making sense. So if you think you have asperger's, you read up on it and you suddenly see things and stuff makes sense, well there you go.

 

[Christopher Nicholson]

For the record asperger's is NOT a mental illness.

 

[baz]

Hey Christopher if that last post was directed at me, I suggest you read my original post again. Also I think the broken arm analogy is rather nieve of you.
you will find that even though you may see you have several autistic traits, every aspie is unique.