Universally Physically Attractive People With Aspergers

[Totallysteff]

I'm sorry I wasn't clearer. I didn't find most of what I read in this thread to be of use to me, or to be anything I could really grab onto. It wasn't directed at you except for the fact that I found humor in your statement, but I don't actually know what you mean exactly about it being perverse, but as I mentioned before. I can't argue feelings. I only know what my brain came up with. As for contradicting myself, I do it all the time unintentionally, but in this case it was merely poor writing skills that lead to the miscommunication.
I don't know if that helped clear it up or if I made it more complicated. Hmm, I guess the point was that you made me laugh.

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

I'm sorry I wasn't clearer. I didn't find most of what I read in this thread to be of use to me, or to be anything I could really grab onto. It wasn't directed at you except for the fact that I found humor in your statement, but I don't actually know what you mean exactly about it being perverse, but as I mentioned before. I can't argue feelings. I only know what my brain came up with. As for contradicting myself, I do it all the time unintentionally, but in this case it was merely poor writing skills that lead to the miscommunication.
I don't know if that helped clear it up or if I made it more complicated. Hmm, I guess the point was that you made me laugh.

Well totallysteff.com, you're clearly from the UK (I had considered previously asking) based on the fact that you've responded in the GMT morning timezone. Yer the thread did have a wide range of answers to a question no longer relevant to me, though I still have a seriouse problem to eliminate and it's one of my new years resolutions to do just that!! Glad I could unintentionally make you laugh then.

 

[Totallysteff]

I don't understand what you mean. I live in the US. I am up because I don't sleep well, and I've been busy sabotaging my life. I'm sorry if I upset you I didn't mean to. I do have a website, but I don't know how to do anything with it so it just sits and collects dust. I did find humor in you comment, not your suffering. I'm really sorry. Maybe you are right maybe I read from the middle. I am new to the forums, so I guess there is a learning curve for me. Please understand I meant no harm. I have an ability to really upset people when I don't mean to.
I'm sorry again,
Steffanie

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

I don't understand what you mean. I live in the US. I am up because I don't sleep well, and I've been busy sabotaging my life. I'm sorry if I upset you I didn't mean to. I do have a website, but I don't know how to do anything with it so it just sits and collects dust. I did find humor in you comment, not your suffering. I'm really sorry. Maybe you are right maybe I read from the middle. I am new to the forums, so I guess there is a learning curve for me. Please understand I meant no harm. I have an ability to really upset people when I don't mean to.
I'm sorry again,
Steffanie

FYI- You never upset or annoyed me, so no apology is necessary . Oh and websites gather 'cyber-dust' not 'dust' . Sabotaging your life?

 

[Totallysteff]

I shouldn't have said that about sabotaging my life. I was in a heated conversation, and it poured into this thread. My life is awesome, and It just gets better everyday.

 

[Rich Gray]

Pocket change at best barring very occasional lottery style wins.

We have received between about three to twelve equivalent weeks of my wife's pay a year from dividends and capital gains.

What the ....????

Basically the drive to dating, couple-up, and have sex are all based on this drive to reproduce. This drive to reproduce is a cornerstone of civilization.

All hail anti-socialism

I am a democratic socialist. Forbes seems to really like the end result of socialism, and rakes many socialist countries higher than America. I think that if America had the same regulations as Canada that the 2009 fiasco would not have occurred.

I am also a capitalist. I love buying, selling, and trading things.

I am trying to earn money via buying, selling, and trading Kickstarter Board Games. Over the last three-years or so I have been slowly building up the amount of product I order. I need to do more figuring of ink, paper, and packing materials, but I have bought about $40,000 of product, and after Paypal, USPS, and eBay fees I am almost breaking even at about $39,000 worth of Kickstarter board games (and will buy more as the good ones come available). I have an inventory of items that I need to sell and/or list.

I also buy and sell other items on eBay, and have been working on emptying my basement of goods so that we may remodel. I buy items on clearance at Target and sell them on eBay (toys, games, and Lego sets).

The last several years I have also been buying Lego's online from the Lego store during Christmas, getting 10% store credit, 2% credit card credit, selling the Christmas promotional item, and then selling the left over Lego sets. I still have a bunch of sets to list and sell. I think I have the formula down for next year, and should be able to get a 25-40% return.

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It would be desire to have boarding schools for everyone, as they mint financial success at a crazy high rate. They have the formula down.

In rare cases I'm sure this works, but in the real world there's plenty of fairly well off guys who are better than me (in every way a woman wants) and thus they needn't settle for someone like me or any other equivalent aspie guy. Or she'll dump you when bored or when a better looking (equally rich) guy comes along.

Money solves all sorts of problems, and is a quite a desirable commodity.

Money removes a great deal of stress that not having money creates.

Stress is not good for relationships, and stress can lead toward a relationship failure.

The wife of Bill Gates (Melinda) was not attracted to Bill, but agreed to go out on a date with him. Her mother said a bunch of nice things about Bill, and they ended up getting married.

Teaching- as in being a teacher? Not sure why you suggest the rest, even though or if it has worked out for yourself, you could just be lucky.

Because teachers tend to be:

[1] Women (in America elementary school teachers are overwhelmingly women).

[2] Extroverts (it is extremely useful for those with Asperger's Syndrome to couple-up with an extrovert to do all the body language and talking. They will often want to do this, or do this automatically. Thus saving lots of social guessing and body language guessing work with a seeing-eye-body-language-person).

[3] Strong willed (bossy women who speak their mind, and tell you want they want seems exactly what would we need).

[4] Stable government job with the summers off (in America) are very nice perks.

Took ages to read this and sorry but I couldn't see a single point to this.

It was slow at work, and I needed a project to occupy my mind. We have overtime right now just to bill hours as allowed on our contract (it goes from busy to dead depending on the time of the month). The end bit where I say how I handle the aftermath of stress:

“But all in all I try to make sure to apologies if I become frustrated. Frustrated looks like anger to many people. No matter how many times I say that I am frustrated, she reads it as anger. [Anger bothers her. Frustration and anger are not the same thing, and definitely feel a lot different to me. I can control anger. I can control myself when there is a danger. Frustration is harder to control for me.] All the same I apologize to everyone [after I get frustrated, and make sure to tell them that I love them]. We need to keep this frustration seeming to be anger confusion in mind, and in check.”

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

Because teachers tend to be:

[1] Women (in America elementary school teachers are overwhelmingly women).

[2] Extroverts (it is extremely useful for those with Asperger's Syndrome to couple-up with an extrovert to do all the body language and talking. They will often want to do this, or do this automatically. Thus saving lots of social guessing and body language guessing work with a seeing-eye-body-language-person).

[3] Strong willed (bossy women who speak their mind, and tell you want they want seems exactly what would we need).

[4] Stable government job with the summers off (in America) are very nice perks

Only #1 is true here in the UK and plus the rest just sounds like a pathetic lonely aspie guys sexual fantasy towards women too good to return him the favour....ever!! (no offense).

Money solves all sorts of problems, and is a quite a desirable commodity.

Money removes a great deal of stress that not having money creates.

Stress is not good for relationships, and stress can lead toward a relationship failure.

The wife of Bill Gates (Melinda) was not attracted to Bill, but agreed to go out on a date with him. Her mother said a bunch of nice things about Bill, and they ended up getting married.

Only the last point successfully counters my point and Bill is the richest guy on the planet so I still don't see much hope in your statement.

This drive to reproduce is a cornerstone of civilization.

And yet a lot less reproduction is going on these days (woohoo less children- I dislike them) as birth rates are down and pre-schools report less children (my mum has far less nowadays than years ago).
In my family I've recently discovered that in my parents generation they'd already have had 4 kids between my mum and her sis by now whilst between me, my sisters and my cousins we all have zilch and zippo and nothing looks to change any time soon. Children are slowly going extinct!!

 

[Rich Gray]

Only #1 is true here in the UK . . ..

(A) I am married to a teacher.
(B) I know many of her work friends, and some are annoyingly bossy.
(C) I took undergraduate classes with students studying to be teachers.
(D) I spent two years studying in a cohort of teacher graduate students.

I am somewhat familiar with their personality tendencies. Science teachers, however, can tend to be like us with Asperger’s Syndrome, but elementary school teachers definitely tend to be bossy.

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Think about it.

[1] Teachers are in charge of their classroom. They tend to have a take charge personality. It is rather required.

[2] They boss people around for a living. They tell other people what to do all day long, year around, and for a living. They definitely tend to be bossy . . . it is in the job description.

[3] They tend to be very social as this is also part of the job's archetype.

[1] Take charge + [2] bossy + [3] social =

[4] Strong willed folks who will tell you what they need. I would think this would remove many of the guessing games that we Asperger’s Syndrome folks find difficult. If the girl tells you that she wants XYZ, then you give her XYZ . . . less bossy girls would be less likely to come out and say so, hoping that you will figure out her needs.

Ask a teacher if they think that teachers tend to be outgoing and take charge (bossy). I think that you will find that their answers will conform to my assessment.

Heck we could find a forum on the internet and ask them.

Only the last point successfully counters my point and Bill is the richest guy on the planet so I still don't see much hope in your statement.

A great deal many people are only one paycheck away from homelessness. The further away from homelessness one is, the less stressful it is. Having $20 to your name is more stressful than having $1,000, is less stressful than having $5,000. Basically they advise that you have 3-6 months in operating expenses for emergencies and job-loss.

Money is a cornerstone of stability, and stability fends off stress. Essentially random events like: a leaky roof, kids needing braces, automobile repairs, and whatnot.

I know many friends and family members that are one paycheck away from trouble, and need to borrow money from friends and family to make it through hard times. These people lie awake at night worrying about money, and those with money do not.

And yet a lot less reproduction is going on these days (woohoo less children- I dislike them) as birth rates are down and pre-schools report less children (my mum has far less nowadays than years ago).

In my family I've recently discovered that in my parents generation they'd already have had 4 kids between my mum and her sis by now whilst between me, my sisters and my cousins we all have zilch and zippo and nothing looks to change any time soon. Children are slowly going extinct!!

Birthrates will slow in some areas, and are low-ish in high education families. Higher education slows down the reproductive cycle (as in we have less kids when we are going to school). Hard economic times also slow down the birthrate.

My dad’s dad had six kids (his mom had five), and my mom’s folks only had one. My parents had three kids, and each of us only have two kids. That is a 33% lower birthrate to a 200% higher birthrate in my family.

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

[1] Teachers are in charge of their classroom. They tend to have a take charge personality. It is rather required.

[2] They boss people around for a living. They tell other people what to do all day long, year around, and for a living. They definitely tend to be bossy . . . it is in the job description.

[3] They tend to be very social as this is also part of the job's archetype.

Yes, to an extent they're bossy, but this does not mean that any (barring the odd occassional time such as yours) will be interested in a socially challenged aspie (no matter how deserving he is). Plus this fact or opinion you put forward means sweet f.a if the women in question are not deemed atractive by the aspie guy. I would also like to add that kids of younger ages are more likely to be taught by female teachers (i.e infant and junior school ages 5-11) and so realistically theyre not exactly gonna be too challenge by the awkward behaviour of teenagers and also they're bossiness in class (which they may not deem bossiness) may not transfer outside of the classroom. But I'm glad you got lucky and found happiness.

[4] Strong willed folks who will tell you what they need. I would think this would remove many of the guessing games that we Asperger’s Syndrome folks find difficult.

And why would settle for an aspie guy, the world isn't kind or understanding to the level we want (outside of the councillors, aspergers support classes and forums) so it's doubtful this'll extend to most in the school environment.

A great deal many people are only one paycheck away from homelessness. The further away from homelessness one is, the less stressful it is. Having $20 to your name is more stressful than having $1,000, is less stressful than having $5,000. Basically they advise that you have 3-6 months in operating expenses for emergencies and job-loss.

Money is a cornerstone of stability, and stability fends off stress. Essentially random events like: a leaky roof, kids needing braces, automobile repairs, and whatnot.

I know many friends and family members that are one paycheck away from trouble, and need to borrow money from friends and family to make it through hard times. These people lie awake at night worrying about money, and those with money do not.

I earn a fair wage (55K by USD standards), but so do many guys (many far more likely to get a better choice of women than the big fat zero many unfortunate aspie guys undeservedly receive). Also with a good enough credit history there are things such as loans or credit cards that can help out those earning lesser wages.

 

[Rich Gray]

I was talking to my wife about this, and she told me three things.

[1] Teachers need a lot of patience, and usually have more than most. Because kids are sometimes / often annoying little brats.
[2] Kids do not understand non-literal assertions. So basically elementary school teachers are used to being literal. This is good for us.
[3] My Asperger's Syndrome traits are annoying.

I get very nervous when I cannot find my keys. Likely because she lost them.

Also remotes.

I want her to order the food over the phone for me. I do not want to talk to strangers all the time.

I fold my clothing just so. She shows her friends my drawers, and they think the way I fold clothing is funny (perfect stacks).

I am sure that I have an extremely long list of oddball quirks. I am sure my list beats hers in quantity and level of annoyance.

Relationships are not all rainbows, and can be hard work.

When I ask her where something is, then she will give a vague (useless) answer like in the kitchen, or in the pantry, or in the refrigerator. An answer of "I do not know" is preferable to an answer like "in the kitchen." I am sure most people would be okay with a useless answer. It is likely just like saying good morning.

Q: Where is the X food.
A: Where we keep the X food . . . it drives my quirks nuts, but this is how she thinks, and she is trying to help and/or be nice.

When she is done with the phone, then she puts it down . . . wherever she is. I have four home phones. I bought more, but the base units only supports four. They are all in a line, together, like we are at a police station. The vast majority of the time the phones are not in there chargers (basically if I do not put it in the charger, then it will not be in the charger). One morning one of her friends called, she asked me to get the phone, there were no phones where they charge, and I said the phones are not there, and went back to bed. This annoyed her, as I was supposed to wander around the house half-asleep searching for a phone that she willy-nilly put down someplace. We were both annoyed with this situation.

When she says that she is too tired to do "something" because she needs to wake up for work, then I figure when there is no work then we can go do "things". But this is not the case, she just does not want to do "things" as often as I do, and it is frustrating for everyone involved.

When I am not working she says that she wants me to work, but when I am working she says that she does not want me to work. It is frustrating for both of us. If she wants me to work, then I should work as much as I can while I can. However she wants me to work as little as possible, while working. I do not think this is how I could be hired on permanently (via not working when they need me to work) and thus she would not get what she wants in the end. It is very frustrating for me to figure out what I should be doing.

She does not want me selling items on eBay (she does not like the space my inventory takes up in the basement), but this is a way that I know (with 100% certainty) that I can make money doing, and contribute money to the household. So she wants me to have a job, but not the job I know I can do, and be independent.

It is frustrating that, like today, she would not go buy several toys (Star Wars Imperial AT-SAT) from a local store (Target) that are $88 marked down from $300 after Christmas, and are selling on eBay for ~$200. The boxes are huge, and likely they do not want them taking up all that space. That would be ~$112 gross - ~$20 eBay fees - ~$6 PayPal fees = ~$86 net per one that we sell. I bought one today on the way to work, and MAY be able to get four more, from two stores, when I get off of work (each store has 0-2), if no one else buys them. On a slow day I earn $112, so $88/$112 is 78.71% of a days work, and would take her 30-45 min to pick up two of them in order to gain 157.14% of a slow days work. I could possibly get more of the toys when I ask them to print out a list of other locations with the toys in the inventory.

Basically humans put up with humans with disadvantages. People couple up with drunks, druggies, criminals, and even Hitler had a girlfriend.

If you ask me Asperger's Syndrome is better than an alcoholic, druggie, or violent creep. So we got them beat, at least. There are A LOT of crappy guys out there, and we can be not-crappy, just a bit annoying. If the choice is a drunk who would drink away all the paychecks (and be drunk all the time), or some guy who folds his shirts until they are just right . . . I would pick the one that folds his shirts until they are perfect, over the drunk.

 

[GeoGuy]

I was with a girl who was an Aspie, and loved her very much. Yes, it was easier to get her than other girls, but that didn't change anything for me. The more I got to know her, the more I loved her and discovered she was everything the other girls would never be.

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

I was with a girl who was an Aspie, and loved her very much. Yes, it was easier to get her than other girls, but that didn't change anything for me. The more I got to know her, the more I loved her and discovered she was everything the other girls would never be.

The thing I hate about love is that something like what you just said can only mean something to 'it' (the part of me that cares for love) if it thinks your gf is physically attractive. As I don't understand (nor do I want to) love, I do not know how you're supposed to genuinely be attracted to someone and I will never experience it in return.