Till They Know You're Smart----

[ADCguy]

No matter how many times i predict peoples behaviours accurately, or in a discussion i am constantly questioned until i prove myself right. In a lot of situations i dont feel i know better, but i know my brain can proccess and sort the information much faster to the more likely result. Of course i make the odd mistake but no one gets hurt. Everyone i know thinks im stupid because of the way i act, dress and speak and its frustrating having to spend hours explaining to people why they MIGHT be wrong only to find out im right and recieve nothing more than another discussion they dont agree with which is another few hours wasted.

And they dont let you back out either! You either agree eith them or keep arguing and when they **** up because they didnt listen to you, it somehow becomes my fault....

 

[Fraktal]

Looks can be very misleading for those who rely on them
And the same goes for one's way of speaking.
That is until you do something that flies in the face of the apparent observation.

When I went shopping in my garden clothes a couple watched me. Then I sat into my car, that was a better one than teir own

When I claimed that the boss wasn't lying, my colleagues told me how naÏve I was. But they realized that I wasn't when I added, that he doesn't need to lie to avoid telling the truth.

 

[Rich Gray]

When people hear that I have Asperger's Syndrome they either think that I am stupid, or that I know more than I do.

Less educated folks tend to think that I must be a moron.

Highly educated people, like doctors, think I know things that I do not.

 

[umbrellabeach]

This happens to me a lot. I look like something is wrong with me because of the way I dress and never look up ,etc. As I mentioned, people sometimes DO try to get in, to be nice. It is natural for humans to want to help.

Well, they almost always start with one syllable words and behaviours they would do if they were talking to someone who is not able to speak or is really challenged to the point of not being able to form words or even write.

So they will ask me what I am reading to get a sense. This is classic. And I say, "Oh, It's a new treatise on physics by so and so...." or whatever it is. I only read academic non fiction so it's generally heavy stuff.

Suddenly I can see their faces sink into shame. I am serious! It's SHAME!! I have analyzed this and imagined if I went up up to someone I thought was maybe "special" but did not realize they were smart.

If I had been reading "Clifford goes to the Vet" they would think of me as their new pet. Once when I was in total mute mode, this happened with several people. They did not know I was smart and would come up and give me that "look"......"And how are we today, Okrad?" (they used my name of course)

Once I learned to answer like, "Oh I am having a rather prolix disputation with myself right now..." I made sure to do that A LOT to avoid those people from treating me like I was a child.

But, once they find out, then they tend to avoid me like the plague and that pisses me off. I don't find their stupidity a reason not to like them. Should I? I am not intimidated by their stupidity even though stupidity has caused MORE TROUBLE on this earth than evil because there are way more stupid than evil people!!!

See? That is why I just block everyone out in total.

A long time ago I had a fantasy that someone would be like, "Oh WOW! I was just reading that, too!!" But then I realize no one is working out Euclid's geometry from his own text these days. No one.

But, in the end, I would rather be smart with no friends than stupid with a load of them. My best friend went on meds a long time ago and DID become stupid. His sole joy in life is making people laugh with 8th grade humour. Detestable.

I realize that my Autism is really showing on this post and that I am sounding judgmental, but let me point out that when they ask me questions I am always kind and always reaching out and still ALWAYS wondering........"Are you a friend? Please be a friend!" So truly, I am the pathetic one.

I used to get the same thing. Except no one seemed ashamed; instead, they would laugh at me. Once I was out at a restaurant with my family and some "friends" and I used the word eagerly in a sentence, and the whole table cut me off to laugh at me. I WISH I could get shame as a reaction! That would be so satisfying and refreshing to watch.

And honestly, maybe it's better that they avoid you after that. People who treat you like that based on your appearance alone are not quality people and they don't deserve to be your friend.

I don't go to social gatherings much anymore, but when I did and brought a book to read, people would always come up and ask me what I was reading. I got so fed up with it I decided to do an experiment by taking Black Butler manga to church and reading it in the lobby; that way, if anyone asked me what my book was about, I'd say, "It's about a boy who sells his soul to a demon in exchange for revenge on his parents' murderers," just to see how they'd react. But since I was ready for it, no one ever asked me.

I wish there were some way I could express my intelligence with my workplace harassers. It'd be interesting to see their reactions. But I can't come up with a clever response to their comments on the spot.

Think that certain types of people are drawn to people like yourself OKrad. It's not so much that you don't talk and seem shy, although that might be part of it. It might be your demeanor, it also might be that you are female, look younger than you actually are. People tend toward treating some females as not terribly bright, as if they were only what appears on the outside. They are the same ones who judge others on appearance.

Also look younger than I am. By about ten years. And it used to happen to me quite a bit. It got to the point that I began letting grey hair show, so that people would be a bit more respectful.

I've discovered that too, through my work harassment experience. Instead of treating everyone the same, they choose how to treat an individual based on appearance. I too am young-looking and female, and I get treated like a silly toy.

For that reason I honestly can't wait to go gray. I'm NEVER going to color my hair, not once. We'll see how people treat me once I'm older. I think it's weird that people are treated differently based on their age. I never talk down to kids (even though I generally don't like kids).

 

[Ylva]

I wish there were some way I could express my intelligence with my workplace harassers. It'd be interesting to see their reactions. But I can't come up with a clever response to their comments on the spot.

If their remarks follow a pattern it should be possible to prepare a response.

Or just tell them the truth.

But don't rely on my advice: I have somehow incorporated flipping the bird into my stimming and I can't seem to get it back out.

 

[umbrellabeach]

If their remarks follow a pattern it should be possible to prepare a response.

Or just tell them the truth.

But don't rely on my advice: I have somehow incorporated flipping the bird into my stimming and I can't seem to get it back out.

I'd love to do that every time, but I'd probably get fired.
(Actually I have flipped off two customers in the past week and nothing has happened but it's because no manager was around when it happened lol)

Some are comments I've heard before ("you're so quiet," blah blah) and some are completely new, like "you failed your parking test" when I was returning a motor cart. And it feels like a new situation every time - not to mention it happens too fast for me to process and respond properly. But maybe I'll work on that anyway in the coming year.

 

[OkRad]

I used to get the same thing. Except no one seemed ashamed; instead, they would laugh at me. Once I was out at a restaurant with my family and some "friends" and I used the word eagerly in a sentence, and the whole table cut me off to laugh at me. I WISH I could get shame as a reaction! That would be so satisfying and refreshing to watch.

And honestly, maybe it's better that they avoid you after that. People who treat you like that based on your appearance alone are not quality people and they don't deserve to be your friend.

I don't go to social gatherings much anymore, but when I did and brought a book to read, people would always come up and ask me what I was reading. I got so fed up with it I decided to do an experiment by taking Black Butler manga to church and reading it in the lobby; that way, if anyone asked me what my book was about, I'd say, "It's about a boy who sells his soul to a demon in exchange for revenge on his parents' murderers," just to see how they'd react. But since I was ready for it, no one ever asked me.

I wish there were some way I could express my intelligence with my workplace harassers. It'd be interesting to see their reactions. But I can't come up with a clever response to their comments on the spot.



I've discovered that too, through my work harassment experience. Instead of treating everyone the same, they choose how to treat an individual based on appearance. I too am young-looking and female, and I get treated like a silly toy.

For that reason I honestly can't wait to go gray. I'm NEVER going to color my hair, not once. We'll see how people treat me once I'm older. I think it's weird that people are treated differently based on their age. I never talk down to kids (even though I generally don't like kids).

Umbrella---wow! You really, really understand what I am experiencing. I think it is because, as you said, small, quiet female......bam!

One thing.....when you grey, it alll changes and for the worse. When you are young, you get lots of interactions like you mentioned about the shopping cart.... and your worldview starts to form around the interactions we have with people.

It may be infuriating and unfair, but how we think of ourselves is largely based (even if we are trying to NOT let it happen) on how others treat us. So I used to give a goofy smile. I would smile a lot. People used to like my smile.

THEN when you are grey? You are LITERALLY IGNORED. I used to think how nice it would be to be ignored, but this is: bleeding in the middle of the street ignored. I mean "Can you please pull this knife out of my liver" kind of ignored. I mean, "Sorry we missed your tumour. We didn't think you were worth it," kind of ignored.

If people do interact, for the most part, it is only to try to discern why I am so weird and it's not in a kind way. When I smile now, it's like some kind of joke, a joke on no one but me. After years of being trained like a dog to smile at people who make comments to me....now? Now that exact same behaviour makes me look even odder.

In fact, all the things people used to like, the special interests, the quirkiness.....when you are quirky at 23, oh...that is endearing......at 40? Laughable.

Certain people are still decent to me. OK like one or two, and they are people who knew I had an accident and they are all at a Library I go to.

It gets complicated because if they say HI, I have to keep reminding myself they are not really my friends. It's just brief one sentence interactions, but it's all I have and I get too excited.

Then, if they cannot say Hi, I am crushed. Sometimes I cannot even respond when they do say something. Other times, if I initiate, they seem all thrown off.

It took me a YEAR to understand they were just trying to be nice to an obviously fragile person, not wanting to be a friend. That makes me feel a lot of shame.

And yes, I DO appreciate their kindness, I really do, but I can only go there I am feeling strong. Otherwise it can get too much and leaves me feeling worse.

It's amazing how I still feel 12 ----and yet way more vulnerable than I did at 23 because life happens and you get sick or hurt or relationships fail, and there you are.....now a short, small, middle aged, weird woman all alone in a 12 year old mind.

Some days this little 12 year old would like to do something very adult.....like jump off a bridge.

 

[toothless]

Umbrella---wow! You really, really understand what I am experiencing. I think it is because, as you said, small, quiet female......bam!

One thing.....when you grey, it alll changes and for the worse. When you are young, you get lots of interactions like you mentioned about the shopping cart.... and your worldview starts to form around the interactions we have with people.

It may be infuriating and unfair, but how we think of ourselves is largely based (even if we are trying to NOT let it happen) on how others treat us. So I used to give a goofy smile. I would smile a lot. People used to like my smile.

THEN when you are grey? You are LITERALLY IGNORED. I used to think how nice it would be to be ignored, but this is: bleeding in the middle of the street ignored. I mean "Can you please pull this knife out of my liver" kind of ignored. I mean, "Sorry we missed your tumour. We didn't think you were worth it," kind of ignored.

If people do interact, for the most part, it is only to try to discern why I am so weird and it's not in a kind way. When I smile now, it's like some kind of joke, a joke on no one but me. After years of being trained like a dog to smile at people who make comments to me....now? Now that exact same behaviour makes me look even odder.

In fact, all the things people used to like, the special interests, the quirkiness.....when you are quirky at 23, oh...that is endearing......at 40? Laughable.

Certain people are still decent to me. OK like one or two, and they are people who knew I had an accident and they are all at a Library I go to.

It gets complicated because if they say HI, I have to keep reminding myself they are not really my friends. It's just brief one sentence interactions, but it's all I have and I get too excited.

Then, if they cannot say Hi, I am crushed. Sometimes I cannot even respond when they do say something. Other times, if I initiate, they seem all thrown off.

It took me a YEAR to understand they were just trying to be nice to an obviously fragile person, not wanting to be a friend. That makes me feel a lot of shame.

And yes, I DO appreciate their kindness, I really do, but I can only go there I am feeling strong. Otherwise it can get too much and leaves me feeling worse.

It's amazing how I still feel 12 ----and yet way more vulnerable than I did at 23 because life happens and you get sick or hurt or relationships fail, and there you are.....now a short, small, middle aged, weird woman all alone in a 12 year old mind.

Some days this little 12 year old would like to do something very adult.....like jump off a bridge.

okrad,i personally prefer people who are older, i dont mean to be bad but i have had a lot of bad experiences with young people,ie bullying and also most dont have life experience so theyre very ignorant.
i can get on with autistics of any age though-as long as theyre not spoilt kids who get everything done for them.

i think you would do well in this country okrad, 56 is young over here, oh plus not to mention better support.
sorry ive had to rush my thoughts here as my support staff is nagging me to hurry up weve got to go home.

 

[OkRad]

okrad,i personally prefer people who are older, i dont mean to be bad but i have had a lot of bad experiences with young people,ie bullying and also most dont have life experience so theyre very ignorant.
i can get on with autistics of any age though-as long as theyre not spoilt kids who get everything done for them.

i think you would do well in this country okrad, 56 is young over here, oh plus not to mention better support.
sorry ive had to rush my thoughts here as my support staff is nagging me to hurry up weve got to go home.

Thank you, Tooth!! THat makes a lot of sense. I am age-blind, too, but people sure are not.

I am not quite 56 yet. Not even 50.....That is just the age I have in my mind that "they" say we are all going to end it. So that leaves me a little time

I am sure it is way better over there. There are pockets here that are good here. I am going to TEACCH next month and may relocate. I have to see what kind of things they offer. It will be a few hours of eval to see what kind of autism I have.

I thought of even going back North, but the services there are deplorable. If you can walk, they say you are perfectly OK. Why be half frozen all the time and still go no care? I do admit that North, if I could get into the care there, it's better than the US.

THe US is the pits because any help you do get costs millions. And if you are on Medicaid, you can never have more than about $1500, ever or you lose health care. So they ***** and moan about people on Medicaid who don't work, well, DUH they don't work. THey need health care!!!

 

[Ylva]

i can get on with autistics of any age though-as long as theyre not spoilt kids who get everything done for them.

Or resentful because they get babied and aren't allowed to do anything themselves?

 

[toothless]

Or resentful because they get babied and aren't allowed to do anything themselves?

do you mean i might be resentful?
i dont understand why would i be resentful when ive been babied and patronised my whole life because of the severity of my autism,and my cognitive disability?

my issue is with young high functioning autists ive lived with who sit there and demand support staff do things for them such as pick up a bowl from the floor when they are sat right next to it or demand a staff remove a service user from the lounge so he can play his electric guitar in there,another would kick off and do things like attack service users if he didnt get what he wanted from staff ,upon wanting her own way-another HFA would s**t then pick it up and eat it in front of us or throw it at us or the ceiling and instead of getting it off the ceiling the staff would paint over it,this particular aspie female would also scream at me continuously to send me into a meltdown on the floor or at worse;a epileptic seizure-all to get what she wanted from staff,
if youve lived with it constantly youd know why i dont get on with them, i prefer people who dont make others feel like crap so they can get their own way,the first male aspie in my paragraph was tazered by police in front of me because he didnt get his own way-his mum refused to buy him another £5000 electric guitar and he kicked off, and he left them lying all over the chairs and sofas in the communal areas so that one lad with cerebral palsy and myself couldnt sit down in there,staff wouldnt do anything about it because he had them under his control-he would phone his mum [a shouty rude heart surgeon] if they didnt do what he wanted and she would come in and kick off, she also cleaned his bedroom for him-and would plonk the rubbish outside the staff room door.
yes i have issues with people who expect others to do everything for them at the sacrifice of other peoples care.

i would rather know autistics who treat other people with respect and do what theyre able to do and get support with what they need- not infantalize themselves and affect other peoples lives.
i am low functioning and fiercely independant minded because i do not like being treated like a child when i have fiercely fought my way through childhood to be an adult.

i dont have an issue with aspies who are infantalizing themselves because of growing up undiagnosed and feeling like they lost out on their childhood [which i have seen some people admit online sometimes,i can understand that and have no thoughts against the idea],my issue is with people who have been babied their entire lives-but instead of growing up to the capacity their brain allows them;they have a serious attitude problem and act like theyre owed something all the time.

 

[Ylva]

How are those people considered "high functioning"? These functioning labels sound even more useless than usual.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Umbrella---wow! You really, really understand what I am experiencing. I think it is because, as you said, small, quiet female......bam!

One thing.....when you grey, it alll changes and for the worse. When you are young, you get lots of interactions like you mentioned about the shopping cart.... and your worldview starts to form around the interactions we have with people.

It may be infuriating and unfair, but how we think of ourselves is largely based (even if we are trying to NOT let it happen) on how others treat us. So I used to give a goofy smile. I would smile a lot. People used to like my smile.

THEN when you are grey? You are LITERALLY IGNORED. I used to think how nice it would be to be ignored, but this is: bleeding in the middle of the street ignored. I mean "Can you please pull this knife out of my liver" kind of ignored. I mean, "Sorry we missed your tumour. We didn't think you were worth it," kind of ignored.

If people do interact, for the most part, it is only to try to discern why I am so weird and it's not in a kind way. When I smile now, it's like some kind of joke, a joke on no one but me. After years of being trained like a dog to smile at people who make comments to me....now? Now that exact same behaviour makes me look even odder.

In fact, all the things people used to like, the special interests, the quirkiness.....when you are quirky at 23, oh...that is endearing......at 40? Laughable.

Certain people are still decent to me. OK like one or two, and they are people who knew I had an accident and they are all at a Library I go to.

It gets complicated because if they say HI, I have to keep reminding myself they are not really my friends. It's just brief one sentence interactions, but it's all I have and I get too excited.

Then, if they cannot say Hi, I am crushed. Sometimes I cannot even respond when they do say something. Other times, if I initiate, they seem all thrown off.

It took me a YEAR to understand they were just trying to be nice to an obviously fragile person, not wanting to be a friend. That makes me feel a lot of shame.

And yes, I DO appreciate their kindness, I really do, but I can only go there I am feeling strong. Otherwise it can get too much and leaves me feeling worse.

It's amazing how I still feel 12 ----and yet way more vulnerable than I did at 23 because life happens and you get sick or hurt or relationships fail, and there you are.....now a short, small, middle aged, weird woman all alone in a 12 year old mind.

Some days this little 12 year old would like to do something very adult.....like jump off a bridge.

Funny, even at my young age now I often AM ignored when I actually ask for help. People ONLY want to interact if they get some amusement from it. It's frustrating but it is good for learning to be self-sufficient. There's a saying that goes if you want something done right you have to do it yourself, but I constantly find that if I want something done AT ALL, I have to do it myself, because no one will help me.

And if I'm ever actually in a situation like the hypothetical tumor one, with doctors, I'll sue them. > : )

So maybe when I'm gray it will be the same in that way but I'll also be relieved of the horrible comments.

okrad,i personally prefer people who are older, i dont mean to be bad but i have had a lot of bad experiences with young people,ie bullying and also most dont have life experience so theyre very ignorant.
i can get on with autistics of any age though-as long as theyre not spoilt kids who get everything done for them.

i think you would do well in this country okrad, 56 is young over here, oh plus not to mention better support.
sorry ive had to rush my thoughts here as my support staff is nagging me to hurry up weve got to go home.

Most of my bullying comes from older people. Older men are the major demographic.

 

[toothless]

How are those people considered "high functioning"? These functioning labels sound even more useless than usual.

it depends on your take of the term [we all know its pretty useless when used in reality] but they are high functioning if you use the original UK terminology for it,which is autism without any level of intellectual disability,i guess they used this terminology because intellectual disability [or lack of it] of any level changes how your autism presents,it doesnt mean you dont get challenges if your considered high functioning though it just means you can handle more information than someone like me.

the guy i talked about at the beginning who got tazered is 18 years old and is extremely clever-he was very threatened by highly clever people like a support staff who used to be there,the pair of them fought all the time about who was the cleverest and he used to deliberately say things to make me feel terrible, funnily enough he could strut around like a peacock talking of his abilities but demand a support staff come in his room and pick up his dishes for him less than 5 feet away while he sits on his chair watching.

he and his mum also invented a story about his knees having no cartilidge so that support staff would go to the shop for him,i have severe nerve damage in my spine and can barely walk and didnt have staff go for me, they believed them because his mum is a medical person,the care home made him have a check up after a lot of complaining and he was found to have normal cartilidge and it was in fact his weight that made life more difficult,heck i was over 20 stone at the time i lived there and was still made to go to the shop with staff,plus anyway i couldnt dare be that cheeky and lazy and ask someone to go for me,even when i was stuck in a wheelchair everytime i was out in the community i couldnt ask someone to go to the shop for me.
i just dont understand it,i cant understand how someone wont use their abilities to be the best they can be when theyre capable because its s**t being patronised and treated like your unfit to be called an adult,its a theory of mind thing i just cant see their way.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

If I was you I would reply saying, "it's complicated stuff, it might bore you". If they pry and assume you're bluffing unload your intellectual side on them. People get intimidated but smart people and they will avoid people who have made them think they did something dumb. You need to let them down gently if you would like to talk to them. It can be frustrating but that's a better way, I think.

when people who dont know me meet me they will speak to whoever is with me rather than me,i feel like shouting 'im not f*****g stupid you know'

I've gotten this. From people my family know, people who think they know me. I get this from my dad. Instead of asking me to do things he asks my mum, I'm right there in the room, just a couple of degrees off from where he's looking at me. He could just be direct but no. It's because I'm the youngest of the family, haven't left home and haven't started a career yet. They see me as a ten year old.

 

[toothless]

Funny, even at my young age now I often AM ignored when I actually ask for help. People ONLY want to interact if they get some amusement from it. It's frustrating but it is good for learning to be self-sufficient. There's a saying that goes if you want something done right you have to do it yourself, but I constantly find that if I want something done AT ALL, I have to do it myself, because no one will help me.

And if I'm ever actually in a situation like the hypothetical tumor one, with doctors, I'll sue them. > : )

So maybe when I'm gray it will be the same in that way but I'll also be relieved of the horrible comments.



Most of my bullying comes from older people. Older men are the major demographic.

maybe it depends on age and functioning level? ie,when your autism is very obvious you are an easy target for bullying and for disablist abuse, when you are a high functioning autist your autism is more of a social and social communication impairment,so its not very obvious and you will get judged on what you say-such as being logical instead of emotional someone might bully you for being a pyschopath-one of my ex support staff was a diagnosed aspie [i say diagnosed so that its made obvious she isnt a pyschopath,im not isolating self diagnosed aspies] and she was bullied about being a pyschopath throughout school and as an adult by fully grown adults,shes very logical but she was so funny, even her original pyschologist said girls couldnt have autism and pretty much called her a pyschopath [without using that exact word].

i was bullied even in play school [a UK based playful version of nursery/kindergarten rather than educational] because of my behavior and self isolating,and i never had a moments peace from bullying right up until now where i am sometimes bullied online for my functioning level and grammar and spelling and i get abused in the community by immature teens and kids,growing up i was bullied in the community in an area of manchester called stretford-i developed PTSD from it and couldnt enter the area without having full on panic attacks and very severe challenging behavior,they were young kids and teens who bullied me i guess as theyre immature and dont have the social capacity to relate to someone who doesnt fit into the category of so called normality.

i am so sorry for waffling on umbrellabeach ,my 2pm medication has kicked in and i had had no sleep last night.

what aspie areas of you did your bullies target? my sister is an undiagnosed 'classical' type aspie and she has been bullied by older people in the family;called snobby, arrogant, unemotional and ostracised-mums side of the family all hated her as she was very intelligent and showed her aspie communication style.

bullies of any age have absolutely no excuse whatsoever-perhaps pre teens have more of an excuse as they are being forced to fit in as part of the neurotypical social rules,i cannot understand at all why an older adult would bully unless they have something going on mentally,but theres no excuse for making someone else miserable.
i dont care if a bully is phobic of being in the company of someone whose more- or less intelligent than themself,we are all different and whether you had profound intellectual disability or gifted IQ [or somewhere in between] you shouldnt have to put up with stupid s**t from other people,we were all formed on this earth for some reason or another and we could all contribute something.

 

[umbrellabeach]

maybe it depends on age and functioning level? ie,when your autism is very obvious you are an easy target for bullying and for disablist abuse, when you are a high functioning autist your autism is more of a social and social communication impairment,so its not very obvious and you will get judged on what you say-such as being logical instead of emotional someone might bully you for being a pyschopath-one of my ex support staff was a diagnosed aspie [i say diagnosed so that its made obvious she isnt a pyschopath,im not isolating self diagnosed aspies] and she was bullied about being a pyschopath throughout school and as an adult by fully grown adults,shes very logical but she was so funny, even her original pyschologist said girls couldnt have autism and pretty much called her a pyschopath [without using that exact word].

i was bullied even in play school [a UK based playful version of nursery/kindergarten rather than educational] because of my behavior and self isolating,and i never had a moments peace from bullying right up until now where i am sometimes bullied online for my functioning level and grammar and spelling and i get abused in the community by immature teens and kids,growing up i was bullied in the community in an area of manchester called stretford-i developed PTSD from it and couldnt enter the area without having full on panic attacks and very severe challenging behavior,they were young kids and teens who bullied me i guess as theyre immature and dont have the social capacity to relate to someone who doesnt fit into the category of so called normality.

i am so sorry for waffling on umbrellabeach ,my 2pm medication has kicked in and i had had no sleep last night.

what aspie areas of you did your bullies target? my sister is an undiagnosed 'classical' type aspie and she has been bullied by older people in the family;called snobby, arrogant, unemotional and ostracised-mums side of the family all hated her as she was very intelligent and showed her aspie communication style.

bullies of any age have absolutely no excuse whatsoever-perhaps pre teens have more of an excuse as they are being forced to fit in as part of the neurotypical social rules,i cannot understand at all why an older adult would bully unless they have something going on mentally,but theres no excuse for making someone else miserable.
i dont care if a bully is phobic of being in the company of someone whose more- or less intelligent than themself,we are all different and whether you had profound intellectual disability or gifted IQ [or somewhere in between] you shouldnt have to put up with stupid s**t from other people,we were all formed on this earth for some reason or another and we could all contribute something.

I agree. I've learned that most people don't grow up. They keep bullying just like they did as kids, only more subtly so they can seem more adult (and get away with it). They want power and control over everyone. That was also why we got kicked out of MN; the white people in our church couldn't stand not having power over everything.

Traits of mine that have been targeted by bullies are being quiet, not smiling (which is also sexist), having trouble understanding people in noisy places (I've been accused of daydreaming), being brutally honest, not participating in social activities/games, reading books, using descriptive language (which ties into intelligence), going off on my own, and having special interests (e.g. being asked to stop "talking about them all the time").