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There is help for ASD and great possibility for a joyful and purposeful life!

@LovingMom

I see you've cited AE three times, so far this evening.

What's your connection with the material?
What in particular have you found there that was of use to you?
 
Hi there, my only connection is that I rely on their site and the info. shared there, often, in navigating life with my teenage daughter with ASD. Finding AE has changed my life and I'm certain that if you have ASD or a loved one with it, it will change your life as well. Please also take a look at the other sites I've referenced for information about the polyvagal nerve and how it relates to Aspergers. There are many good books on this and they are the basis for the work at AE. I am a transformation coach and I work with Neuro-typical clients, but am considering working with ASD clients now since the work of mindfulness that is taught on the AE site is the basis of my work as well. Love to hear what you learn. Share it with the group here.
 
Gave me understanding and tools on how to navigate with her when she becomes dysregulated and in what's called "defense mode," and how to help her out of it. I can actually witness her go from highly dysregulated to complete calm and taking positive action on her own behalf. This just didn't happen before I learned what I have learned about Defense Mode. And there is more!
 
I am more interested in how it has affected you.

I can only know that from what you say,
not from what the sites say.
 
All this is hype for courses and books that someone is making money from. Who are these "experts?"

Believe it or not, many aspies find ways to have a joyful and purposeful life without falling for huckster theories.
 
Loved the polyvagal video, I looked into that a while back in trauma victims. That's why I now tell people to "just breathe"
 
I think we have to be careful not to get caught up in lots of diagnostic fads that can exploit a person and make money off them. If it is true science that works then great! But there are many disorders that have over lapping symptoms. Fetal Achohol for one. Thyroid disease for another. A coach, therapist, or pusher could keep a person on a merry-go-round forever.
 
I can totally understand skepticism and concern that folks are exploiting. I'm someone who is hyper vigilant to that and I've studied Aspergers quite a bit over the past 10 years--both my daughter and my former husband have it.

You will have to see for yourself if you find the information useful. I can tell you that what I have learned from the various articles, Danny's videos and coaching with him, and again, he has Aspergers, so unlike many who offer help, he is not a "neuro-typical," he knows what he's talking about from his own experience and I have tried the things he's recommended and I see a totally different response from both my daughter and my former husband.

They recommend both understanding what's happening to a person in dysregulation and how best to respond to them to increase communication, rather than the typical either explosion and/or complete shut-down reaction I used to see.

Knowledge is power here. Their recommendations are also largely based on mindfulness and teaching Aspies and/or learning as someone who has it, how to be with your feelings. It is actually the turning away from powerful feelings that causes the dysregulation. So, if a person can learn to really be with their feelings there will be less dysregulation, fewer meltdowns. In my practicing holding space for my daughter when she is upset, which is a practice I also use in my coaching practice, I do find that she finds her own calm. I'm simply being fully present with her in her experience.

I hope you will all just take a look and listen and read--if it doesn't resonate with you, that's totally fine. I'm not trying to sell anyone anything nor an affiliate. I was referred to the site by a new friend who also has a daughter the same age as mine, with Aspergers. She sent me there (several months ago), because of her positive experiences and all that she learned there that made a difference for her. I stayed up half the night watching and reading because so much resonated with me and made sense given my own learning on mindfulness and my own experiences with my daughter.

Defense Mode is something everyone with or around someone with Aspergers ought to understand.

How to motivate someone with Aspergers, again this could be you or someone you love. You will find tools that work.

I am practicing them with my daughter daily and I see a huge difference in her. She responds when I ask her to do something. I'm able to motivate her by incentivizing her with other things she wants to do more so than the task I want her to do. So, how about we go for ice cream later, once you do your laundry. No arguments whatsoever! This is new and so welcome.

Just giving examples here of things I've learned and tried that are effective. There's a lot more. There's a learning curve.

I think the greatest thing I've come to understand is that living with Aspergers is akin to living with PTSD. The good news in that is that there is already a tremendous amount of research on PTSD and the strategies used to help people with PTSD, are effective for people with Aspergers.

Wishing you all the very best. You will find your way to what you need when you need it. It does though require a level of trust that I can understand is hard to come by when orienting to a world that doesn't seem to fit.

I would love to hear from any of you who learn something that's helpful, wherever you learn it from.

Lots of love.
 
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I love roses said:
I think we have to be careful not to get caught up in lots of diagnostic fads that can exploit a person and make money off them. If it is true science that works then great! But there are many disorders that have over lapping symptoms. Fetal Achohol for one. Thyroid disease for another. A coach, therapist, or pusher could keep a person on a merry-go-round forever.
Click to expand...
I assure you, Asperger Experts is not a fad, nor are they pushers of anything. They are sincerely, with their own Aspergers, seeking to make a difference in the lives of other Aspies having lived, and still living with it. You can find lots of free videos of theirs on Youtube, so if it's about spending the money, just watch the free videos and try some of things that they suggest--none of which involve purchasing anything.
 
Bella Pines said:
Loved the polyvagal video, I looked into that a while back in trauma victims. That's why I now tell people to "just breathe"
Click to expand...
Breathing is a great place to start. Try mediating even just a few minutes a day and notice how you feel. Please share with others.
 
I've been to the website before and viewed some of the videos. I think there is a lot of merit to what they are saying. I understand people on here are skeptical given poorly we've been treated by the world. But it is a little surprising how quickly people on here dismiss it altogether and almost seem to get defensive about it. We are too quick to judge sometimes. I know for myself, PTSD causes at least half the problems I have on a daily basis and this information seems like a possible road to recovery. But I think it is more difficult to recover as an adult. I believe in some of the principals but it is still very difficult to apply for several reasons. As an adult, we have to deal with adult problems as well as all the problems associated with having ASD. Also, I don't really have anyone to go to in my offline life that understands. Lastly, I certainly hold on to a great deal of bitterness from missing out on many of the great experiences in life. This on top of being persecuted by many people through my life. Difficult to forgive and move on. I will always have ASD which is fine. But I don't have to live with PTSD.
 
I never said anything specifically against a particular website. This site may work for some. But their services are for hire and I have access to some very good free services. So it is not for me. I have used psychiatrists before and they mislabeled me and tried to pill me up and even threatened me if I didn’t take the pills. They accused me of a condition that was actually caused by possible aspergers (self assessment) and ptsd, but they labeled me as something else. When I wouldn't take the pills they refused to cousel me. I noticed in group therapy they harrassed other patients and made them cry, Then they’d give them pills. I looked around and noticed no one they were counseling were allowed to be there without pills. So I left. I do not take pills. They make me not able to function at all. I have a positive religious meditation every morning that resets my emotions. If I need more regulation I use an Episcopal monastic prayer practice. My religion discourages holding onto bitterness. So I have been able to let that totally go. Bitterness only hurts the person hanging onto it. I’m not sure I still have PTSD. I’ve never really been labeled with anything. Most of it has fallen off through cognitive therapy. But religion helped the most. But I had to find the right fit for religion. I had to get away from judgemental fundamental styles because they added to the symptoms. They were black and white thinking which aspies don’t need if that is what I am. So I see a Catholic Priest for spiritual direction only once a month. He sees me for free even though I’m not Catholic. He doesn’t tell me what to believe or do. He only is a sounding board for my own meditations and issues which I review with him once a month. A lot of counselors either had no real effect and some were harmful and gave me bad advice or they pushed drugs toward me. Some counselors helped a little. Drugs are necessary for some people but they were harmful in my situation. I couldn’t be balance my checkbook or anything and it’s really started to wreck my life. But my holistic spiritual approach has worked way better for me. I’ll never be healed. But I have accepted my situation and my spouse is understanding as well as my priest and my spiritual advisor. Just being accepted by somebody who is positive goes a long way. I am skeptical of a lot of psychology and medicinal online service for hire. I am even skeptical of brick and mortar ones after my bad experience. Funny thing. They went bankrupt shortly after I walked out. People and services that take advantage of people will not last long. The good ones do. Because of the nature of aspergers and the individualistic variation of symptoms, it would be easy to exploit someone. The last thing an already vulnerable person needs is to be bankrolled. It is also common for trolls to come on websites and pretend to be just a normal person and push other sites or products. I’m not saying that is what is going on here. But I don’t get all into that. I do my research and do what works for me. I don’t care if the product is only a bar of soap.
 
I love roses said:
I never said anything specifically against a particular website. This site may work for some. But their services are for hire and I have access to some very good free services. So it is not for me. I have used psychiatrists before and they mislabeled me and tried to pill me up and even threatened me if I didn’t take the pills. They accused me of a condition that was actually caused by possible aspergers (self assessment) and ptsd, but they labeled me as something else. When I wouldn't take the pills they refused to cousel me. I noticed in group therapy they harrassed other patients and made them cry, Then they’d give them pills. I looked around and noticed no one they were counseling were allowed to be there without pills. So I left. I do not take pills. They make me not able to function at all. I have a positive religious meditation every morning that resets my emotions. If I need more regulation I use an Episcopal monastic prayer practice. My religion discourages holding onto bitterness. So I have been able to let that totally go. Bitterness only hurts the person hanging onto it. I’m not sure I still have PTSD. I’ve never really been labeled with anything. Most of it has fallen off through cognitive therapy. But religion helped the most. But I had to find the right fit for religion. I had to get away from judgemental fundamental styles because they added to the symptoms. They were black and white thinking which aspies don’t need if that is what I am. So I see a Catholic Priest for spiritual direction only once a month. He sees me for free even though I’m not Catholic. He doesn’t tell me what to believe or do. He only is a sounding board for my own meditations and issues which I review with him once a month. A lot of counselors either had no real effect and some were harmful and gave me bad advice or they pushed drugs toward me. Some counselors helped a little. Drugs are necessary for some people but they were harmful in my situation. I couldn’t be balance my checkbook or anything and it’s really started to wreck my life. But my holistic spiritual approach has worked way better for me. I’ll never be healed. But I have accepted my situation and my spouse is understanding as well as my priest and my spiritual advisor. Just being accepted by somebody who is positive goes a long way. I am skeptical of a lot of psychology and medicinal online service for hire. I am even skeptical of brick and mortar ones after my bad experience. Funny thing. They went bankrupt shortly after I walked out. People and services that take advantage of people will not last long. The good ones do. Because of the nature of aspergers and the individualistic variation of symptoms, it would be easy to exploit someone. The last thing an already vulnerable person needs is to be bankrolled. It is also common for trolls to come on websites and pretend to be just a normal person and push other sites or products. I’m not saying that is what is going on here. But I don’t get all into that. I do my research and do what works for me. I don’t care if the product is only a bar of soap.
Click to expand...

Good grief, calm down. I'm glad you have found a way for yourself, but there are alternative forms of help out there. Sorry to also hear about your negative experiences with so called professionals. But don't come on here and make assumptions about things and dismiss for everyone else. You certainly are implying the website is only trying to make money and is a hoax.
 
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