Supermarket woes

[kriss72]

If a checkout assistant starts throwing items through the scanner faster than I can cope with, I "go slow". I will deliberately pick up each item individually, even if I could pick up more than one, and place them carefully in the bag that I had mentally assigned to them (fridge bag, cupboard bag etc). I refuse to be hurried as that leads to meltdowns and I feel much better if I control the speed and not the assistant.

Yeah, but don't you still feel pressure to be faster than you are? - I do, I have my sunflower lanyard to show I need extra time, but still I feel pressured.

 

[Bloor]

I usually load the heaviest items on the conveyor belt first, followed by the lighter items (or items that can get crushed easily), then as I'm packing I put the heaviest things into bags first then the light things on top.

I pretty much do that as well but also separated into kitchen areas. After the supermarket shop, I head into town to visit the local shops to pick up local produce (fruit, veg, milk, butter, eggs, bread, meat). Visiting the local shops is always a more pleasurable experience - and there's the charity shops, a bookshop and a record shop! I only really use the supermarket for the bulky stuff that I can't get in town.

 

[kriss72]

I usually load the heaviest items on the conveyor belt first, followed by the lighter items (or items that can get crushed easily), then as I'm packing I put the heaviest things into bags first then the light things on top.

I use boxes, a big thermos box for cold things and smaller for things that don't care about temperature, so I sort by temperature first - then because the boxes are more vertical than horizontal like a bag, it's easier to just put the heavy things at the bottom when packing - our local smaller supermarket, actually have a system where you scan your groceries while you walk around, and than just pay from the app when you leave - I never tried that in the big shop where we do the weekly shopping.

 

[Bloor]

Yeah, but don't you still feel pressure to be faster than you are? - I do, I have my sunflower lanyard to show I need extra time, but still I feel pressured.

Yes, it's hard but I try not to let that happen. I concentrate on my breathing and focus on the items in front of me and not the insistent BEEPING of the scanner. I have a sunflower lanyard but due to covid I now feel uncomfortable wearing it (lots of people used a lanyard to get out of wearing a mask). Maybe, I should start wearing it again?

 

[Bloor]

our local smaller supermarket, actually have a system where you scan your groceries while you walk around, and than just pay from the app when you leave - I never tried that in the big shop where we do the weekly shopping.

I've seen the handheld scanners but never actually tried them. I think that if I have trouble with the auto-checkouts I'll definitely have trouble with those things Plus, I've heard that they do random bag checks to make sure people aren't stealing and having someone approach me, in front of everyone, asking to look in my bags would probably send me into shutdown

 

[kriss72]

I've seen the handheld scanners but never actually tried them. I think that if I have trouble with the auto-checkouts I'll definitely have trouble with those things Plus, I've heard that they do random bag checks to make sure people aren't stealing and having someone approach me, in front of everyone, asking to look in my bags would probably send me into shutdown

Here it is just an app on the phone, and a qr code you scan at the exit, then use the phone to pay - and yes they do, do random checks of the bags, it's not an issue for me in the local shop, but you need to be ok with it before you start - another benefit is there is no line to wait at, scan the qr code, swipe on your phone to pay, and you can leave the shop if your phone goes green, if it goes red you need to wait for staff to check random items I your bag.

 

[Bloor]

Here it is just an app on the phone, and a qr code you scan at the exit, then use the phone to pay - and yes they do, do random checks of the bags, it's not an issue for me in the local shop, but you need to be ok with it before you start - another benefit is there is no line to wait at, scan the qr code, swipe on your phone to pay, and you can leave the shop if your phone goes green, if it goes red you need to wait for staff to check random items I your bag.

Sounds far too complicated for me, I'm afraid.

 

[Aspychata]

The other issue is somebody mumbles something and looks at you, and you think what the??? did you say and is it important enough to require a response. So most of the time l ignore it and keep walking towards the exit door. I have asked kids to stop running in back of me if they are tweens. That's a no no. Take your child to the park, or for a bike ride, but runing full speed when you are a young adult down a tiny aisle is just going to irk me. But little kids burning off steam , no problema.

 

[Hypnalis]

"Can I leave my trolley here as I forgot something?"

When you're not sure ask. Some form of "I don't understand" or "What do you mean?".

In this case she may have been asking:
1. For you to make sure nobody meddles with her full trolley (e.g. a staff member who thinks it's been abandoned)
2. For you to hold her place in the queue.

(1) is ok, but she should have asked a better question.
(2) isn't a reasonable request.

So your asking for clarification is best. (1) would be ok, but she should have signaled it by placing the trolley away from the line so it's not in the way. You shouldn't offer to hold someone's place in a queue.

If she said she wanted (2), a shrug or "Suit yourself" would work.

So what you did was functionally good, but perhaps a bit unwieldy, and you weren't 100% happy with the outcome.

Learn to ask for clarification. You'll find the number of misunderstandings goes down a bit (not to zero), but you'll feel better about the results because you'll be in control.

 

[The Pandector]

“Hello, sir. May I help you?” she asked.

“What did you have in mind?” says I.

 

[Bloor]

When you're not sure ask. Some form of "I don't understand" or "What do you mean?".

In this case she may have been asking:
1. For you to make sure nobody meddles with her full trolley (e.g. a staff member who thinks it's been abandoned)
2. For you to hold her place in the queue.

(1) is ok, but she should have asked a better question.
(2) isn't a reasonable request.

So your asking for clarification is best. (1) would be ok, but she should have signaled it by placing the trolley away from the line so it's not in the way. You shouldn't offer to hold someone's place in a queue.

If she said she wanted (2), a shrug or "Suit yourself" would work.

So what you did was functionally good, but perhaps a bit unwieldy, and you weren't 100% happy with the outcome.

Learn to ask for clarification. You'll find the number of misunderstandings goes down a bit (not to zero), but you'll feel better about the results because you'll be in control.

Nowhere did I say I was unsure of her meaning (at least my understanding of the phrase that she used). I thought she meant what she said, "Can I leave my trolley here?". It was only after her interaction with the other customer that I realised that I misunderstood. I did not need to ask for clarification, she needed to be more precise with her question.

 

[Bloor]

“Hello, sir. May I help you?” she asked.

“What did you have in mind?” says I.

Quite aptly, I have no idea what that means?

 

[Misty Avich]

Nowhere did I say I was unsure of her meaning (at least my understanding of the phrase that she used). I thought she meant what she said, "Can I leave my trolley here?". It was only after her interaction with the other customer that I realised that I misunderstood. I did not need to ask for clarification, she needed to be more precise with her question.

But why would she just ask to leave her trolley there for no reason? Normally the reason people would ask that is for no other reason really but that.
I'm not taking her side or implying you're dumb or anything (I know you're not dumb) but I just meant what did you think she meant? I'm just analysing the situation with you, I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything and I'm not criticising (I don't want you to feel I'm getting at you or anything, because I'm not, I'm just curious ).

 

[The Pandector]

Quite aptly, I have no idea what that means?

It’s the same phenomenon. When you go into some shop, the sales person will ask if they can help you. Of course, we know that they mean help you in regards to identifying and purchasing something likely to be found in their shop. But, since the speaker didn’t actually specify what particular type of help they were offering, you need to ask, before giving consent, just how they intended to help.

The same scenario:
“How may I help you today?”
“You may help with my rent.”

It is the literal interpretation of the common offer of help.

 

[The Pandector]

But why would she just ask to leave her trolley there for no reason? Normally the reason people would ask that is for no other reason really but that.
I'm not taking her side or implying you're dumb or anything (I know you're not dumb) but I just meant what did you think she meant? I'm just analysing the situation with you, I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything and I'm not criticising (I don't want you to feel I'm getting at you or anything, because I'm not, I'm just curious ).

Seems to me you are asking the prime question.

You might also ask the person with the phone in their hand why they are walking all over the house looking for their phone. After all, it’s only logical that one needn’t search for what is at hand.

 

[Misty Avich]

I don't appear to have the autism trait of "needing people to be more precise otherwise I won't understand". Usually I know what people mean, unless they're being too vague about it, which can commonly confuse anybody.

It's like one time when someone jokingly posted a picture on Facebook of a girl with huge lips from Botox, and put a caption "how every girl wants their lips" with laughing emojis. Logically only a minority of girls would want to look like that, and I'm not one of them, but even I knew what he'd meant and added a laughing emoji. He didn't literally mean "every". In fact the word "every" in this context had a bigger meaning illustrating how he felt about the stupidity of perfectly normal-looking girls who pay thousands on cosmetics to look bizarre.
So sometimes a word in a sentence can actually mean the emotions of what that person is feeling about something and the original meaning of the word being meaningless in that context.

 

[Misty Avich]

Seems to me you are asking the prime question.

You might also ask the person with the phone in their hand why they are walking all over the house looking for their phone. After all, it’s only logical that one needn’t search for what is at hand.

Okay, gotcha.

 

[Hypnalis]

But why would she just ask to leave her trolley there for no reason?

There's a (much) better than 50% chance she was after my "Option 2": She was trying to trick him into saving her place in the queue, but didn't want to be open about it, because it's too easy to say "no" to an obviously unreasonable request.

 

[Misty Avich]

There's a (much) better than 50% chance she was after my "Option 2": She was trying to trick him into saving her place in the queue, but didn't want to be open about it, because it's too easy to say "no" to an obviously unreasonable request.

But wasn't that what she was asking? "Look after my trolley" surely means "I've just got to quickly get something I'd forgotten but I'll be returning to my trolley and space in the queue which is why I'm asking you to look after my trolley".

 

[Chailatte_]

I wouldn't have understood either! If I don't understand, I either smile or ask to be more explicit (if I'm not exhausted). If I'm exhausted, I make a fool of myself, I become "slow" as if I couldn't process everything, I realize I'm slow, I panic because I realize I'm slow, I implode, shutdown... So, I avoid it...

I hardly ever go inside the supermarket anyway because it takes me hours! I like to read the composition/ingredients of the items and compare them (in EVERY aspect) ... so I do the shopping online and then just go to pick it up (outside the store).