Small talk?

[Judge]

Another thing that people often say is "Nice day, isn't it?" This is one thing I don't say to people, unless I want to talk about the weather, and actually I find weather interesting and want to talk about it, but the problem is that other people don't ask this because they want to talk about the weather, but as a greeting - it has a social function.

Point taken. I suppose if I were to encounter someone completely naked walking around, I'd be tempted to say to them, "Nice night for a walk. Wash day, tomorrow. Nothing clean!"

Sometimes such a scripted conversation might come in handy.

 

[AniGa]

Hm. I just answer honestly (or as honestly as I see fit depending on who asks me) to "How are you?", and I myself only ask it when I actually want to know - otherwise I just don't ask.
No logical reason for me to care how others interpret my asking or not asking, after all.
And no matter whether they specifically wanted or required a detailed answer or not, me just being honest and detailed to whatever degree I deem appropriate always leaves the person with the most appropriate answer no matter what.

... but maybe that's just me and my logic-dominated brain and social thinking processes.


Greets,
AG

 

[CassLovesBears]

I'm so sick and tired of not being around anyone similar to me. It's as if pepole don't have as much depth to them as I'd like. They talk about all of these shallow things which are nice occasionally but not more than the intellectual conversations about science, existence, the debate of free will, psychology and pondering why we do what we do, and many other things. What's more boring than only being able to talk surface level because that's what is expected. You're not allowed to walk up to a stranger and ask them their worst fears and pains despite desperately being curious about it. I don't want to live in our easily offended world. I want honesty, bluntness, and depth. Someone who loves to share their story or their philosophical needs.



HUMANS YOU ARE WEIRD

 

[Tony Ramirez]

My small talk has improved greatly this past two months since attending Church and joining fellowship groups. Matter of fact I talk more now with new people in groups than I do with my family.

 

[CassLovesBears]

It is time for a reminder that bashing of anyone regardless of neurology is unacceptable on this forum.
We are to conduct ourselves with respect towards all, because we have members who are outside of our own neurology who are people too.

Lol I never saw this.. I'm not bashing nuerotypical people. I'm not even officially autistic. Ill have you know that i dislike everyone equally.

 

[Nitro]

Lol I never saw this.. I'm not bashing nuerotypical people. I'm not even officially autistic. Ill have you know that i dislike everyone equally.

You are fine.

That was a general reminder so the thread didn't stray into bash-a-thon territory

 

[CassLovesBears]

I know I'm just teasing anyway it's always good to remind people that what they say can affect how someone else feels. I need that reminder myself more often >. <

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Just did some "small talk" today going out to eat with my Life Group after Church service. I handled it fine it does take practice, patience and effort.

 

[John M]

I can handle really basic small talk with others but after that I'm pretty lost. If people really want to talk then after the small talk comes the stories. 'This was my experience with X.' 'Did you hear about person Y?' I can write a story just fine but I can't speak one (if that makes any sense). The things that I do which I perceive as memorable just aren't going to be interesting to many people. Even if they were I just don't think to myself, 'this would make a good story.'

 

[Crossbreed]

Small talk?

Okay, I'll give it try,
"I really don't get its appeal..."

 

[Solphire]

One of my least favorite types of small talk is, "are you all right?" when someone sees you doing something that is very logical for you, but questionable to them. I do not like having to explain my thinking process, because all this results in is the person looking at me quizzically.

"Are you alright?" Is also said when I actually allow my emotions to come forth. No, there's nothing wrong, my emotions are just strong!

"How are you?"
If I am unwell, I usually reply with "I am here" or "I am unwell but it will be okay." If am feeling normal, I say "very well thank you and yourself?" I have never been able to respond with a simple "fine."

I am curious though. What do you all say when someone asks you, "What are you thinking (about)? I cannot answer this question. What are they actually wanting to know? At any given time I could be thinking about 10 things in rapid succession. So after an awkward silence while I try figuring out how to respond, I usually say something I am physically sensing. "It smells great out here with all this fresh pine." I am at an utter loss with this question.

 

[tree]

@Solphire

How common is it for people to ask you what you are thinking?
Does that happen frequently?

I can't remember anyone asking me that, recently or in the past.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

@Solphire

How common is it for people to ask you what you are thinking?
Does that happen frequently?

I can't remember anyone asking me that, recently or in the past.

Not often never been asked. I have been asked the famous "How was your week?" The most annoying of all of them. "Where are you from?" For someone who meet me the first time now I just say "Carol Gardens around Hoyt St".

 

[Solphire]

@Solphire

How common is it for people to ask you what you are thinking?
Does that happen frequently?

I can't remember anyone asking me that, recently or in the past.

Yes I am asked that frequently. Sometimes I think the question is really asking what I think of something specific, but I do not know what they are referring to. Or perhaps maybe they are really asking is: "what are you doing why are you doing it." And even worse, maybe I am being quiet and they actually want to literally know what I am thinking about.

Maybe my answer should be, "specifically what do you want to know?"

EDIT: perhaps the frequency of this question is greater for me because I have been wearing a mask my whole life in my feeble attempts to pass as normal. Probably the times in my past where I did not wear it, was when I was asked, are you all right and what are you thinking. My mask is currently gone, so now I am getting these two a lot more than usual.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I am at a social gathering right now with about 20 other people lots of small talk When people talk to me when I thought ignored was wearing headphones I answer and respond The easiest is when we talk about the church about welcoming me to another life group and just recent talking to someone about computers and programming both topics interest me greatly so it's easy. They all started with the classic where are you from and what do you do

Now I know this crazy society has dumb rules as many here most likely dread small talk but they master it for Aspergers it's an challenge but it's doable.

 

[Progster]

Yes I am asked that frequently. Sometimes I think the question is really asking what I think of something specific, but I do not know what they are referring to. Or perhaps maybe they are really asking is: "what are you doing why are you doing it." And even worse, maybe I am being quiet and they actually want to literally know what I am thinking about.

Maybe my answer should be, "specifically what do you want to know?"

Occasionally, not very often, someone will ask me, "penny for your thoughts?" I don't like this question very much, because my thoughts are private and I think they are being nosey, so I just say "private thoughts". I want to choose where and when I tell people what I'm thinking, and I'm not obliged to disclose. What I'm thinking is usually a mixture of images, thoughts, sensations which is difficult and a huge effort to put into words in a way that they will understand and will make sense to them.