Since retiring, I have been able to dial back social interaction almost entirely. I mean, I still have to go grocery shopping, occasional doctor visits, etc, but mostly I am very solitary. This has greatly reduced the daily stress of having to function as an autistic in an NT world. It has been great. But in the absence of that daily stress, the non-social impacts of my autism and comorbidities have become more obvious.
I have dypraxia. I have fantastic long-term memory, but can forget what I am talking about in the middle of a sentence. Or lose a tool I was using 30 seconds ago when I haven't moved from where I used it. I frequently have to describe in detail what something is or does because I don't remember its name.
Today was very much a reminder that social issues aren't my only problems. I dropped a 32 ounce glass full of water in the middle of the kitchen floor. I didn't trip, or get jostled or bump into or something. I simply wasn't gripping the glass adequately. Shortly after that, I was walking and turned to the side and painfully stepped on my own toe with my other foot. I misplaced several tools while working on projects around the house. I lost my phone no less than 5 times, and had to use the house phone to call my phone and hunt it down from the ringtone sound.
This really was not an unusual day. The amount of time I have spent in my 65 year life looking for misplaced items would probably be measured in years. I have scars on every appendage including my head from all the running into walls, trees, doorways, or accidentaly cutting or impaling myself. I sprained my ankles so much as a child that my ankle ligaments became elastic. Now when my ankles give, they bounce right back. With my alexithemia, I am generally unaware of emotionality. Then at seemingly random times, I cry for hours, or find myself suddenly angry.
I had really hoped my solitary retired life would make things so much easier since I didn't have to deal with traffic, job frustrations, etc. Easier it is. Ideal it still isn't.
I have dypraxia. I have fantastic long-term memory, but can forget what I am talking about in the middle of a sentence. Or lose a tool I was using 30 seconds ago when I haven't moved from where I used it. I frequently have to describe in detail what something is or does because I don't remember its name.
Today was very much a reminder that social issues aren't my only problems. I dropped a 32 ounce glass full of water in the middle of the kitchen floor. I didn't trip, or get jostled or bump into or something. I simply wasn't gripping the glass adequately. Shortly after that, I was walking and turned to the side and painfully stepped on my own toe with my other foot. I misplaced several tools while working on projects around the house. I lost my phone no less than 5 times, and had to use the house phone to call my phone and hunt it down from the ringtone sound.
This really was not an unusual day. The amount of time I have spent in my 65 year life looking for misplaced items would probably be measured in years. I have scars on every appendage including my head from all the running into walls, trees, doorways, or accidentaly cutting or impaling myself. I sprained my ankles so much as a child that my ankle ligaments became elastic. Now when my ankles give, they bounce right back. With my alexithemia, I am generally unaware of emotionality. Then at seemingly random times, I cry for hours, or find myself suddenly angry.
I had really hoped my solitary retired life would make things so much easier since I didn't have to deal with traffic, job frustrations, etc. Easier it is. Ideal it still isn't.