Jeremy P
New Member
My name is Jeremy. I'm going into my senior year of high school. I'm also a writer, a musician I play the guitar, (primarily acoustic but I own an electric, too) ukulele, and piano. I sing, too. I write free verse poetry when inspiration strikes. I also play sled hockey.
I was born with mild spastic triplegic Cerebral Palsy. I also have moderately severe Tourette Syndrome which began to manifest at age 12 and with which I was diagnosed at age 15, just over two years ago. I've been recovering from depression and anxiety for just over a year and a half.
For the past six months or so, I've been heavily considering that likelihood that I have Asperger's Syndrome or high functioning Autism, however I still struggle with saying so. I've had very poor social skills for as long as I can remember, and I have a lot of issues with sensory processing, especially auditory input. I'm prone to sensory overload, and I stim a lot. I struggle with looking people in the eye, regulating the volume of my speech, and I've been told that I don't have much of a filter. I'm told all the time that I interrupt often, dominate conversations, say rude things, or speak in a rude tone, even though I don't often realize it. I've found it increasingly distressing as I've grown up.
Further complicating this is the fact that I am transgender. That is, I was born female but identify as male. I am treated as male in social settings by friends, family, and strangers alike, and I hope to pursue hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and chest reconstruction surgery in the next few years. Because I was born female, and because I am a highly articulate teenager, most people don't think it's even possible for me to have Asperger's or another ASD.
I've internalized a lot of that stigma, and so I struggle to accept the nature of my issues. Am I autistic, or just someone with really bad social skills who also has sensory issues, which are a common comorbidity of Tourette Syndrome? I don't know. I wrestle a lot with it. I'm fairly confident from a logical standpoint, especially with an understanding of why my symptoms present differently because I'm biologically female, but the thought of actually saying that I'm autistic terrifies me and makes me feel guilty, like I'm a fraud. I'm not sure anymore...
I was born with mild spastic triplegic Cerebral Palsy. I also have moderately severe Tourette Syndrome which began to manifest at age 12 and with which I was diagnosed at age 15, just over two years ago. I've been recovering from depression and anxiety for just over a year and a half.
For the past six months or so, I've been heavily considering that likelihood that I have Asperger's Syndrome or high functioning Autism, however I still struggle with saying so. I've had very poor social skills for as long as I can remember, and I have a lot of issues with sensory processing, especially auditory input. I'm prone to sensory overload, and I stim a lot. I struggle with looking people in the eye, regulating the volume of my speech, and I've been told that I don't have much of a filter. I'm told all the time that I interrupt often, dominate conversations, say rude things, or speak in a rude tone, even though I don't often realize it. I've found it increasingly distressing as I've grown up.
Further complicating this is the fact that I am transgender. That is, I was born female but identify as male. I am treated as male in social settings by friends, family, and strangers alike, and I hope to pursue hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and chest reconstruction surgery in the next few years. Because I was born female, and because I am a highly articulate teenager, most people don't think it's even possible for me to have Asperger's or another ASD.
I've internalized a lot of that stigma, and so I struggle to accept the nature of my issues. Am I autistic, or just someone with really bad social skills who also has sensory issues, which are a common comorbidity of Tourette Syndrome? I don't know. I wrestle a lot with it. I'm fairly confident from a logical standpoint, especially with an understanding of why my symptoms present differently because I'm biologically female, but the thought of actually saying that I'm autistic terrifies me and makes me feel guilty, like I'm a fraud. I'm not sure anymore...
