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I'm Really, Really Sorry

Amy Susan Rose said:
Riley, I just discovered you are only sixteen! That explains a lot and I don't mean that rudely. You are an adolescent in a very confusing, frightening, and frenzied time. The world is difficult to navigate for those who are wired "normal", id est, NT's let alone us on the Spectrum. I hope over time you will develop self-acceptance, self-love, along with empathy for the plight of others. And know what's okay within certain circles and not whats okay. Give it time; God knows I was outrageous at your age!
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I was a nightmare at 16.

I get what you say, Riley about easily influenced. I've never been easily influenced by people, but movies, TV and music were a different thing.

Stuck on gangster films and rap music = pretend gangster.
Slayer and Danzig = demon.
Fantasy novels = swordsman.

Whatever I got into bled into my daily reality, and got me in some trouble at times.

I find I have to be careful what I allow into my head on a daily basis. Anything is ok in moderation, but I like binge watching and listening.

I think part of it may be hyperempathy. I feel what you feel, or the person who wrote the song felt.

So thrash metal, and punk and hardcore, while fun did me no favours in the long run.
 
Riley said:
Sorry for bothering ya. And for what I said.
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On the contrary, hilarious website, love it. No need to apologize, you can be whatever you want to be. You can be normal, you can be ocd or you can just be Riley, it's entirely up to you. The world is more interesting with you it, whatever you decide to become. :fourleaf:
 
Riley said:
Eh, good. I wrote this in one of my easily-influenced moods. It's why Mom's banned me from Let's Not Meet. You guys get on outta here and enjoy yourselves. Sorry for bothering ya. And for what I said.
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No worries, I understand :) but can you try to behave yourself a little better next time?

Maybe find another place to vent those kinds of frustrations that isn't an online community centered around ASD, you know?
 
I will. Don't you guys worry.

Believe me, I've always imagined doing a MUCH worse post in the past. To burn my bridges and get myself banned. Not because I hate this site; Far from it! I just get urges to do stuff. Bad stuff.
 
Riley said:
I will. Don't you guys worry.

Believe me, I've always imagined doing a MUCH worse post in the past. To burn my bridges and get myself banned. Not because I hate this site; Far from it! I just get urges to do stuff. Bad stuff.
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That's something I get as well. Pressure builds to sort of lash out, destroy all good connections I've made with people.

I guess the journey is to manage that and learn to let it out in healthier ways as we get older.
 
I'm with Lone Wolf. I don't believe that Aspergers is a mental disorder.
However, I am reeling from the fallout of dealing with many major difficult events in the past 2 years, and because I am autistic, I have been experiencing these mountain of difficulties in such a way that I'm now overloaded and bursting with anxiety and depressed feelings.

I think it is highly probable that I will be able to get my life back and enjoy my gifts, but I can only do that by insisting on my solitude and in controlling my environment. People whom I regard as intruders are not welcome, since I cannot tolerate them right now. I know my safe people.

To the rest of you who are feeling similar to me right now, or know it all too well, I hope you can also find great satisfaction in who you are and to get back to/remain in that place. I would never seek a cure for Aspergers. I like myself. That's why depression will not beat me.
 
Ambi said:
I think everyone needs to decide for themselves what they believe and want to do. For myself, I have found my life is much easier to live/navigate the more I learn to live among NTs and in an NT world as a pseudo-NT....BUT.....when I pushed myself to do that without realizing my own differences as an Aspie, I ended up severely burning out and with all kinds insecurities and anxieties. Now with the knowledge of my unique Aspie needs and what limitations/modifications I may need to make, I feel I have a better chance at successfully navigating the NT world. I try not to allow my Aspie side to show when among NTs....but I also know that I need release when I am alone. Finding that balance will be key. NTs do a similar thing - they often conform socially depending on where they are, and they also can feel very stressed about that....but it's not due to such an extreme difference in processing the world.

Lastly - I have no idea who "Chris-chan" is, and I don't care. I think it's completely ludicrous that you would come on here and lump all of us together as having one opinion. If you have a tendency towards this kind of all or nothing thinking towards us, others, or yourself, then of course you're going to be miserable. You'd be miserable as an NT as well. Just saying.
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I couldn't have said it better. That's precisely what I went through.
 
Bella Pines said:
On the contrary, hilarious website, love it. No need to apologize, you can be whatever you want to be. You can be normal, you can be ocd or you can just be Riley, it's entirely up to you. The world is more interesting with you it, whatever you decide to become. :fourleaf:
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I agree with everything except hilarious website. Unless, maybe, they do a satire on the behavior along with photos of the weird ways of the NT's. Now that I would find hilarious. Touche.
 
There's also Uncyclopedia, not as deliberately offensive as ED and (perhaps) also humorous. Still shouldn't be taken seriously, but they have a section on ASD as well:

Autism
Asperger syndrome

If I want to be concerned with the quality of paint being used on walls, then damn you I will, but don't come crying to me when I "told you so".

As for the speaking in tongues, no lie there...I did that a lot growing up. My family couldn't afford an exorcist to cure me though :(
 
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WildCat said:
There's also Uncyclopedia, not as deliberately offensive as ED and (perhaps) also humorous. Still shouldn't be taken seriously, but they have a section on ASD as well:
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As the site states: "Welcome to the Mother Ship of amateur comedy writing!" Amateur, indeed! :D
 
If this has already been posted, then disregard

It’s widely believed that Autistic folk have an extremely high rate of mental illness. Believed to be higher with those with Asperger syndrome. It’s just harder to diagnosed in people with autism and worse if their male.

I can deal with one or the other but not both (it doesn’t help I have other thing to deal with as well).

Also lacking a good support system is just as bad!
 
When I was a kid, about 10 years old, I made a conscious decision to stop being the weird kid. I didn't know why I was weird - in those days, autism was only for non-verbal kids who rocked in the corner.

I did it. Today, as long as I am not too tired or overwhelmed, I can imitate NTs so well, that they sometimes joke to me about other ASD people, thinking I'll enjoy it.

It took me 20 years, sapped all my energy, and looking back, I wouldn't have bothered. A little camouflage is useful, but mostly it wasn't time well spent. I mainly did it because childhood is hell for us, but childhood ends.

The fact is, I really don't like most NTs, and I really don't care what they think about me anymore.

If you do want to take that path, I'd suggest studying acting, and reading lots of fiction - anything except sf and fantasy. Those are written by us, for us, and have nothing to teach us about NTs. General fiction is THE storehouse of information about the ideal ways to behave, or to avoid behaving.

Acting is the big shortcut. It's what you want to do anyway. Pick a detailed NT character and play that part. Seriously, take classes, audition for community theater. And theater people tend to have so many issues themselves, that they may not even notice yours.

Don't bother studying psychology. I wasted a lot of time that way. It wasn't all crap, but acting and reading were far superior.

The best plan, if I had to do it over again, would be to put less effort into it. Just get good enough to not stick out too much. And find something better to do.

Either way, good luck.
 
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Ming of Mongo said:
When I was a kid, about 10 years old, I made a conscious decision to stop being the weird kid. I didn't know why I was weird - in those days, autism was only for non-verbal kids who rocked in the corner.

I did it. Today, as long as I am not too tired or overwhelmed, I can imitate NTs so well, that they sometimes joke to me about other ASD people, thinking I'll enjoy it.

It took me 20 years, sapped all my energy, and looking back, I wouldn't have bothered. A little camouflage is useful, but mostly it wasn't time well spent. I mainly did it because childhood is hell for us, but childhood ends.

The fact is, I really don't like most NTs, and I really don't care what they think about me anymore.

If you do want to take that path, I'd suggest studying acting, and reading lots of fiction - anything except sf and fantasy. Those are written by us, for us, and have nothing to teach us about NTs. General fiction is THE storehouse of information about the ideal ways to behave, or to avoid behaving.

Acting is the big shortcut. It's what you want to do anyway. Pick a detailed NT character and play that part. Seriously, take classes, audition for community theater. And theater people tend to have so many issues themselves, that they may not even notice yours.

Don't bother studying psychology. I wasted a lot of time that way. It wasn't all crap, but acting and reading were far superior.

The best plan, if I had to do it over again, would be to put less effort into it. Just get good enough to not stick out too much. And find something better to do.

Either way, good luck.
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Ming of Mongo said:
I'd suggest studying acting, and reading lots of fiction
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I agree. Acting is all they do anyway. But be choosy – do Jane Eyre or Elizabeth Bennet rather than Catherine Earnshaw, and when you're younger, Matilda over Mary Lennox.
 
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