I can't live like this! But I am doomed...

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

I still think I would've been better off if I was born deaf cause now my sensitive hearing has turned me into a monster! I end up breaking stuff, I already have anger issues, and now I hate myself even more.. Forget autism. I know i have anxiety, depression, Autism, and OCD, but I needed up breaking something that wasn't mine. Now I'm just a monster, autism or no autism! I wouldn't be surprised if someone just tried to shoot me on sight. I'm not meant to live.

 

[OlLiE]

they cost a lot of money (about EUR 380), but i found a pair of headphones that for me cut out a lot of noise, if i play a bit of music then the world virtually disappears, if i put in earplugs and then put the headphones on then everything disappears

problem: really not safe for driving

 

[OlLiE]

headphones is all i save for and all i really am willing to spend money one

i even found another pair of tiny in ear buds that play a kind of pink noise that obfuscates outside noise, the sound is so 'standard' that after a while i don't even hear it anymore

 

[Kyou Nukui]

A "power bank" for your phone could be a cost effective option if the phone was really helping before it ran out of juice.
Get the biggest one you can find.

I like playing an absorbing rhythm game on the phone, myself, with wireless Bluetooth headphones of course. It has predictable sounds which are way better than unexpected noises even if they do need to be quite loud to cover up the noise, and having to focus on the game helps distract me from the activity going on around me.
I like using it at the hospital waiting room, although I'm sure it annoys the nurses when they have to stand right in front of me before I notice they are calling me.

 

[Kyou Nukui]

I still think I would've been better off if I was born deaf cause now my sensitive hearing has turned me into a monster! I end up breaking stuff, I already have anger issues, and now I hate myself even more.. Forget autism. I know i have anxiety, depression, Autism, and OCD, but I needed up breaking something that wasn't mine. Now I'm just a monster, autism or no autism! I wouldn't be surprised if someone just tried to shoot me on sight. I'm not meant to live.

Good people do bad things and regret them. Bad people do bad things and don't give a monkey's. I have to conclude, therefore, that you are a good person.
It isn't easy to keep your cool, 100% of the time, in this unnaturally noisy modern world. Go easy on yourself.

 

[Progster]

Another reason I want to go deaf: My mother won't listen to me!

She keeps telling me that gonna have to "get over it" or "tune it out", but I can't

This is just the problem: we can't just tune out unwanted sounds with the same ease that NTs seem to be able to. They can ignore sound easily, but we can't. This is an autistic trait, and something that you should explain to your mother.

Also, it's all about controling sensory input: my music doesn't bother me when I'm listening to it, because it's my music and I'm in control of it, but if I go out to a restaurant, then the nosie really would bother me, because I can't tune out background noise when trying to talk to people. Other people don't have this problem and like the music because it creates atmosphere.

My partner has the TV on non-stop when he's in the house, I can hear it all the time and it drives me nuts. It's too loud and stops me from working and concentrating. I also like to listen to music and just as I can hear the TV upstairs, my music can be heard downstairs in the living room where my partner is when he is watching TV, but it neve seems to bother him - he just tunes it out! I wish I could do the same but I can't.

 

[Autistamatic]

You mention playing music your phone AuBurney - I take it you've got a smart phone? Have you tried a noise generator app to help tune out the unwanted sounds yet? Rather than music, such apps generate a constant white, pink, brown or other constant sussurration or a rumbling sound that many people find both relaxing and tunes out the world quite effectively. People even use these apps to help them sleep.
I just took a look on Google Play to see what was available for Android. The top rated app costs £1.89 (so likely US$2.50) but there are plenty of reasonably rated free apps you could try to see if it works for you. I'm sure the same applies to iPhone if that's what you happen to have.
A power bank would be a good idea too. I have several and they're invaluable. You should be able to get a decent quality one which would at least double your phone's battery life (3-4000 mAh) for US$5-10 or a really beefy one (8-10000mAh) for around US$20-30.

 

[Annanda]

THERE'S NO ENDING THE PAIN EXCEPT FOR DEATH!

Slowly, slowly, my friend! You are in the middle of a melt-down. It will pass and live goes on. Do now all things that usually calm you down. We had a discussion recently about them.
Next time you might adjust the circumstances a bit: little adjustments can have great effects sometimes.
When I have to go in public for whatever reason indispensable to life I automatically and subconsciously choose places where I don't get overwhelmed.
I drive a little farther to find a supermarket without music, where I'm sure not to meet to many people. I carefully choose little stores and little garages. It requires a bit research, but doing research is one of our strengths, I think.

 

[tree]

@BraidedPony

"You can’t be a vet if you are deaf."

There are deaf and hard of hearing veterinarians.

https://www.avma.org/News/JAVMANews/Pages/091115e.aspx

Achieving Goals! Career Stories of Individuals Who Are Deaf and Hard of Hearing: Phenomenal Professionals (Kimberly Dodge,Veterinarian)

 

[tlc]

If you get ear aches and your ear drums break often enough,
eventually you won't be able to hear as well. I don't recommend it, though, speaking from personal experience.

Agreed. My dad has had more earaches and blown eardrums than I can remember. And his hearing is quite compromised. Doctors wonder how he can even hear at all.

I've also had temporary hearing loss from too much aspirin, successfully treating myself for a blood clot. Dying of a blood clot or going deaf, lesser of two evils. Realized how much hearing is taken for granted, never wish to go deaf.

But I know what you're saying, I experience it at work all the time. Especially the guy behind me, his office is a revolving door of loud people talking about fun stuff like cars, snowmobiles, tractors, jeeps, house projects... and it makes it almost impossible to work at times. But headphones would stop me from being able to hear when the other engineers do ask me legit questions. So for now I just deal, but some others there do use headphones and I may just have to get some and tell others to come to me when they need something rather than expect me to hear over the cubicles.

One of the reasons I avoid Walmart. It just seems to be that way. If I can't change my oil myself, then I go to a dedicated oil change place, it only takes 10 minutes and I don't have to leave the car. I shop at places like Save A Lot which are thrifty but don't have the loud zoo of crazy people that Walmart seems to attract. Either that or I go to Walmart late at night if I have to. I don't know your living situation or options, but noise is one reason I refused to live in town and chose to live in the country. There's a lot of things lacking from the city, but the peace and quiet, and being able to live my life without being hassled, is well worth it to me.

 

[Judge]

It's true. Walmart usually is a sensory nightmare for me as well. The other day it was Target. For whatever reason there seemed to be far more mothers and small screaming children there. Holiday preparations, I suppose.

Another painful day in the life of an Aspie. <sigh>

 

[BraidedPony]

I assumed that a person couldn’t be a vet if they couldn’t hear, and I was wrong.
But still, I wouldn’t want anyone to choose to be deaf.
One of my vets says she has lost her sense of smell from working so many years around strong odors.

 

[tree]

For a class in Exceptional Individuals, we had to role play various
conditions. Stuttering---in a public place where you weren't known,
vision impairment, blindness (no sight), hearing impairment...etc

It was very disorienting, to me, not being able to hear my footsteps
on the sidewalk. (This wasn't just 'pretending.' We had equipment
to use, to simulate the conditions.)

 

[Major Tom]

I feel your pain..

 

[Major Tom]

On a side note, maybe it's better to get a set of wrenches and change your own oil. It's simple and you can do it wherever you're comfortable.

 

[DCA]

I went to Walmart today. I HATE that place! For much the same reasons, though my issues don't seem to be nearly as severe. Also my local Walmart didn't have a single can of Krylon Red-brown primer. Very upsetting...

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

This is just the problem: we can't just tune out unwanted sounds with the same ease that NTs seem to be able to. They can ignore sound easily, but we can't. This is an autistic trait, and something that you should explain to your mother.

Also, it's all about controling sensory input: my music doesn't bother me when I'm listening to it, because it's my music and I'm in control of it, but if I go out to a restaurant, then the nosie really would bother me, because I can't tune out background noise when trying to talk to people. Other people don't have this problem and like the music because it creates atmosphere.

My partner has the TV on non-stop when he's in the house, I can hear it all the time and it drives me nuts. It's too loud and stops me from working and concentrating. I also like to listen to music and just as I can hear the TV upstairs, my music can be heard downstairs in the living room where my partner is when he is watching TV, but it neve seems to bother him - he just tunes it out! I wish I could do the same but I can't.

She won't listen to me. She is too busy on the fact that I'm louder than them.

 

[Mr Allen]

I nearly had a meltdown in Walmart. I was stuck there for HOURS because of an oil change! People were staring, and it was the worst torture ever! The kids, the loud screeching and banging of the tools, I can't stand it! At first my phone was playing music to keep the noises from torturing me, but the phone died! I just wanna go deaf! I thought I'd never get out of there! I don't care if I'll never be able to hear even what I like again, I just can't keep living through torture! I can't drive without being tortured by the motor, I can't go to class without being tortured by the noises there, and I can't even relax at home without the roaring engines outside torturing me! I have no ear defenders that everyone says work, and it might be impossible for me to get them. Therapy might not help. Earplugs didn't help. THERE'S NO ENDING THE PAIN EXCEPT FOR DEATH!

Trust me, being deaf ain't fun.

I've been deaf since I had Chicken Pox when I was 8, and I'm now 42.

 

[Crossbreed]

I nearly had a meltdown in Walmart...

Walmart sells noise-cancelling headphones, around $10? (in their guns & ammo department). You can still hear with them, but they take the edge off.

 

[Tom]

Get a grip. What if its even noisier in the afterlife?