I can’t go back to University, I am severly Depressed

[Frostee]

I really, really need help.

I am doing a 4 year degree hundreds of miles from home. I was enthusiastic at the start of the course, and have gradually toned this down to sluggish activity through the course. I didn’t do amazing this year and that has knocked my confidence.

I am miserable at my University and can’t cope with living alone.

I have one year left. I am going back next week and can’t do it.

The isolation is awful!

I am deeply depressed over this and have been trying to deal with it. When I talk to my Parents about it they tell me that they cannot deal with it and to stop talking about depression.

My father is constantly moody. Both of my parents sometimes act like I am a nusance.

I don’t know what to do. I need a solution where I will be content, and I don’t feel that I will be content at my University. The loneliness is unbearable.

I have spent all this time and money on this, and I will not be able to complete it.

 

[disconnected]

Hi, I may know how you feel. I did graduate, but took two semesters off and different times. Most people said if I took off I wouldn’t go back. I did twice and finished.


Can you take a planned break?

 

[Fitzo]

Are there counselors at the uni you can talk to? Sometimes just getting someone else's perspective can be helpful and even just having someone who will actually listen to you and be sympathetic can make you feel much better. I know depression very, very well. But I also know that just a slight lifting of a black mood can make things look very different and it's much easier to climb out of the hole.
It's very disappointing your parents don't or can't take your depression seriously, but this is not unusual. Most people who haven't experienced real depression just don't comprehend what it's like and have no idea how to deal with it. I strongly suggest talking to someone who can and will.
I wish you all the best.

 

[On the Inside]

I think I know the feeling. I had a lot of difficulty with college, struggled with the course load, struggled with trying to pay my way, and really struggled with the social aspects.

If I focused on my studies, I grew isolated, if I tried to be more sociable my studies went out the window. And through it all I had to work enough to be able to pay my bills.

I found I liked working more than I liked school, so I tried going to school part time, so I could work more and it helped. It gave me a broader perspective, school was less stressful and I enjoyed it more. Having a job that I enjoyed (related to my interests) allowed me to make friends with people who shared my interests, something that I utterly failed to do in school for some reason.

It took a lot longer to get through, but I feel I gained a lot more by going to school part time.

 

[Suzanne]

I went back to higher education and felt like you every single day, but I persevered with my husband's encouragement.

I did not make a single friend. Painfully awkward. Mainly due to my age and being the oldest, despite only being 22. I was regarded as pathetic.

I had to give a presentation of a chosen subject, but was clueless, as I had no real school training.

I got so panicked that I abruptly got up from my chair and in my effort to escape, nearly sent the instructor flying!

It was obviously noted I was traumatised by the notion of doing a presentation and so, they allowed me to escape from that ordeal. But did not stop the ridicule.

It was only for a year, but felt a lot longer. However, I did manage to pass some exams

It is easy for us to see no way out, because we have this huge blackness, called negativity, that hides any positive thinking. I never thought of seeing a therapist and no one suggested it, so I kind of stumbled my way through college.

I also have misplaced empathy. My youngest niece has to go to college and I feel sick with the worry, because that is how I would feel. However, I do not share this with her.

As has been suggested, can you find a bit of therapeutic help?

A year may seem long, but it isn't really that long.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Have a look for peer groups in the area of your university. Particularly for autism or mental health, you may even find one or two running within the university itself. I've found peer groups to be a great way to talk to others and make friends. I'd highly recommend it.

 

[Tom]

Do what you need to do for your mental health particularly if you are in a crisis. But think the issues out fully before making decisions. If you don't go, life at home with your parents doesn't sound all that promising.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Are there counselors at the uni you can talk to?

Definitely see a counselor at the school. She may be able to offer some alternatives - scaling back your workload, taking classes online, taking a break, etc.

 

[Frostee]

Have a look for peer groups in the area of your university. Particularly for autism or mental health, you may even find one or two running within the university itself. I've found peer groups to be a great way to talk to others and make friends. I'd highly recommend it.

I had an open mind with Aspergers peer groups and I have given up on them recently.

I have tried and tried for three years with these groups and have had difficulty in fitting in or jelling with the people in these groups.

There are a lot of people in these groups who like to ostracise other Aspies and are not in general supportive.

I also had issues with trying to get a word in, in conversation. I actually had an Aspie say to me that he talked over me because he seen me as weak - this was at my University group, the worst one i’ve been to.

 

[Frostee]

Do what you need to do for your mental health particularly if you are in a crisis. But think the issues out fully before making decisions. If you don't go, life at home with your parents doesn't sound all that promising.

Thank you. My parents aren’t great with my depression. They constantly run away from it and actually tell me that they cannot deal with it. It is hard to get a councillor where I live.

It is unfortunate, that I will probably have to move out of their house when I come back home because I cannot live with them.

They all gang up on me (my sister and father) constantly. Sister and father are both miserable. Sister is moody when she gets up and constantly belittles me. Father is the same.

Sister now thinks she is above me and everyone else because she has a retail job. She won’t let me eat in her (crappy) car and constantly shouts at me when I am in her, sitting is the only thing I can do in her car.

 

[Frostee]

Definitely see a counselor at the school. She may be able to offer some alternatives - scaling back your workload, taking classes online, taking a break, etc.

I go to a councillor every year that I am there, so I will definitely go again this year.

 

[Frostee]

Hi, I may know how you feel. I did graduate, but took two semesters off and different times. Most people said if I took off I wouldn’t go back. I did twice and finished.


Can you take a planned break?

I want the Degree finished, so I don’t know if I can do this.

I was hoping to do distance learning.