So this is gonna sound as though I’m wading into codependency territory because I’m going to ask for advice on how to help my boyfriend cope with anxiety; however, while I am concerned about him, it’s not altogether altruistic. I’m asking because it affects our relationship and it causes me anxiety.
He has very limited insight, I would say; so I think he just suffers with it and doesn’t know how to get unstuck. I’ve struggled with anxiety myself so I know it can be paralyzing and just a terrible experience.
As someone who is not very expressive, he hasn’t shared the extreme levels of anxiety he’s had over the last few weeks. I was completely oblivious.
Without going into the nitty-gritty about the subject that caused a big blowout, it was related to some civil rights abuses that are going on in the United States now.
It is something that has been distressing me greatly, and when I’ve spoken to him about it, his indifference just floored me. Suddenly I’m wondering who this stranger is that I’ve lived with for the last three years.
That was last night. Fast forward to today and he reveals to me that he has been terrified because he found a tick on his ankle when he was in Montana. He hadn’t told me about this at all. And I don’t really understand why, because I am like the most empathetic person you could meet. But I think he doesn’t see me as helpful unless I can contribute to a solution.
He had already gone to the doctor and gotten tested for Lyme‘s disease and it was negative. But all this had occurred without me knowing any of it. And he’s still worried about it.
Now everything has fallen into place for me. I GET it because when you have such high levels of anxiety, you can’t sleep, you can only focus on yourself, and you’re just trying to survive. No wonder he seemed callous about the issue I was preoccupied with.
I’m writing to ask if anyone has any suggestions with regard to reading material or natural remedies for anxiety because I really think he would benefit from psychotropic medication but he won’t touch them with a 10 foot pole; and if I don’t help him figure out a solution, he will just sit there freaking out inside and suffering. Like I said, he isn’t naturalyly inclined to looking inward and I think he’s too paralyzed to come up with a solution.
I mentioned yoga and I think he may go for that. We did go to a counselor once, whom I noticed he did open up to so maybe I will suggest that, though I’m not sure he found it particularly helpful.
Thanks.
He has very limited insight, I would say; so I think he just suffers with it and doesn’t know how to get unstuck. I’ve struggled with anxiety myself so I know it can be paralyzing and just a terrible experience.
As someone who is not very expressive, he hasn’t shared the extreme levels of anxiety he’s had over the last few weeks. I was completely oblivious.
Without going into the nitty-gritty about the subject that caused a big blowout, it was related to some civil rights abuses that are going on in the United States now.
It is something that has been distressing me greatly, and when I’ve spoken to him about it, his indifference just floored me. Suddenly I’m wondering who this stranger is that I’ve lived with for the last three years.
That was last night. Fast forward to today and he reveals to me that he has been terrified because he found a tick on his ankle when he was in Montana. He hadn’t told me about this at all. And I don’t really understand why, because I am like the most empathetic person you could meet. But I think he doesn’t see me as helpful unless I can contribute to a solution.
He had already gone to the doctor and gotten tested for Lyme‘s disease and it was negative. But all this had occurred without me knowing any of it. And he’s still worried about it.
Now everything has fallen into place for me. I GET it because when you have such high levels of anxiety, you can’t sleep, you can only focus on yourself, and you’re just trying to survive. No wonder he seemed callous about the issue I was preoccupied with.
I’m writing to ask if anyone has any suggestions with regard to reading material or natural remedies for anxiety because I really think he would benefit from psychotropic medication but he won’t touch them with a 10 foot pole; and if I don’t help him figure out a solution, he will just sit there freaking out inside and suffering. Like I said, he isn’t naturalyly inclined to looking inward and I think he’s too paralyzed to come up with a solution.
I mentioned yoga and I think he may go for that. We did go to a counselor once, whom I noticed he did open up to so maybe I will suggest that, though I’m not sure he found it particularly helpful.
Thanks.