HOW DO YOU RELAX?

[Sherlock77]

I don't think I ever fully relax, at least not in a true sense of the word

My mind is always active, I get the sense that some people turn off their brains, I'm always thinking about something, or doing something... Even when I go for a walk it's typically with my camera in hand, and my brain is always wired visually, scanning the world around me thinking about what photo to take... Yet to me that is relaxing, but in a different way, if that makes sense, because it's something I enjoy doing...

 

[trustwaves]

I don't think I ever fully relax, at least not in a true sense of the word

My mind is always active, I get the sense that some people turn off their brains, I'm always thinking about something, or doing something... Even when I go for a walk it's typically with my camera in hand, and my brain is always wired visually, scanning the world around me thinking about what photo to take... Yet to me that is relaxing, but in a different way, if that makes sense, because it's something I enjoy doing...

I'd love to do this, go out and take photos alone, anxiety stops me

 

[Sherlock77]

I'd love to do this, go out and take photos alone, anxiety stops me

I've never dealt with anxiety on this level, I will say taking a camera with me gives me a reason to go for a walk or a drive... If I didn't take photos I'm not sure I would have a reason to go anywhere, certainly less reasons...

 

[trustwaves]

I've never dealt with anxiety on this level, I will say taking a camera with me gives me a reason to go for a walk or a drive... If I didn't take photos I'm not sure I would have a reason to go anywhere, certainly less reasons...

Yeah I think it would help me as then it was feel like there's a point to going for the walk and then I'll get something out of it like good photos hopefully

 

[Sherlock77]

Yeah I think it would help me as then it was feel like there's a point to going for the walk and then I'll get something out of it like good photos hopefully

All I would suggest is not to focus on how good or bad you are, or you think you are, the simple act of creating anything at any skill level is therapeutic for anyone

 

[trustwaves]

All I would suggest is not to focus on how good or bad you are, or you think you are, the simple act of creating anything at any skill level is therapeutic for anyone

Yeah I know it's just leaving the house alone that's the problem

 

[Sherlock77]

Yeah I know it's just leaving the house alone that's the problem

I saw your other post, I'm not sure how to answer that for you, I'm the complete opposite, I tend to get cabin fever when I'm inside for too long, I've gone out on cold winter days to do photography just to get outside

 

[Nervous Rex]

Wow. Thank you for asking this. Reading all these replies, it’s astounding to see there are so many other people whose minds just never stop.

It was big insight when I realized as a teenager that many other people don’t like to think. It was another surprise to learn that they can choose to not think.

I remember once, as a teenager, an adult telling me to just relax and stop thinking about something. In tears, I yelled back, “I can’t!”

It killed me to hear others describe how to go to sleep: “Just relax, turn your brain off and go to sleep.” You might as well be describing how to fly: “You just flap your arms and off you go!” - and I have to explain that my arms don’t do that.

More on topic: the only time I don’t feel anxious is when I’m getting something done. So, relaxing for me is getting something done, like doing a puzzle, baking, building something... anything that I can say, “I got this done.”

 

[trustwaves]

I saw your other post, I'm not sure how to answer that for you, I'm the complete opposite, I tend to get cabin fever when I'm inside for too long, I've gone out on cold winter days to do photography just to get outside

It's crazy cause I'm actually the same. I can't stand being inside all the time, but it's just something I have to deal with until I can get my anxiety under control

 

[trustwaves]

Wow. Thank you for asking this. Reading all these replies, it’s astounding to see there are so many other people whose minds just never stop.

It was big insight when I realized as a teenager that many other people don’t like to think. It was another surprise to learn that they can choose to not think.

I remember once, as a teenager, an adult telling me to just relax and stop thinking about something. In tears, I yelled back, “I can’t!”

It killed me to hear others describe how to go to sleep: “Just relax, turn your brain off and go to sleep.” You might as well be describing how to fly: “You just flap your arms and off you go!” - and I have to explain that my arms don’t do that.

More on topic: the only time I don’t feel anxious is when I’m getting something done. So, relaxing for me is getting something done, like doing a puzzle, baking, building something... anything that I can say, “I got this done.”

I get so frustrated that my mind never stops. It can get so upsetting and confusing. Especially if you're not sure what you're feeling! But yeah I'm the same, I used to love doing stuff like what you mentioned as I could focus on that one thing but I find it hard to know what to do now. I think I overthink it to much.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I get so frustrated that my mind never stops. It can get so upsetting and confusing. Especially if you're not sure what you're feeling! But yeah I'm the same, I used to love doing stuff like what you mentioned as I could focus on that one thing but I find it hard to know what to do now. I think I overthink it to much.

Have you tried counting rice?

 

[Jeremiah ayers]

Never feel fully relaxed every time I think I am my brain kicks into overdrive.

 

[Sozdatelniza]

Reading and drawing - these two things I usually do relax me. If it doesn't work I go for a walk to refresh myself.

 

[Theta.G]

woke up tasting blood this morning from how hard teeth were clenched... so not during sleep lol
uhm... hmm.. The only time i can relax is if i actually remember to (and feel like) listening to guided audio inductions. Or remember to use the trigger word for an installed hypnosis command.

 

[Anthracite]

Found a good YT channel for you: Sappheiros
Step 1. Sit/lay comfortably
Step 2. Select appropriate genre for you
Step 3. Close your eyes and just listen

If the rest of this guy's stuff is as good as his chill/dubstep you'll be chill in 03:20.

 

[George Newman]

Tell me how you relax!
I'm always in a state of stress / anxiety and can never relax.
Xxx

Trustwaves, this is a great question. I have enjoyed reading everyone’s responses so far. Some of the responses I can relate to and some not so much. Isn’t that one of the nice things about Aspies Central? We relate and hopefully we apply what we read when we think it might help. Like you, I am almost always feeling some degree of anxiety. When the the anxiety is less it seems I work to repair and try to recover enough to sleep and face another day. When the anxiety is greater, repair has to take a back seat to recover. Unfortunately, repair is bank rolled and in a few days I am overwhelmed. Managing this made me fantastically self centered and hurtful to those I was living with. That is why I predominately live alone these days. Pathetic, yes? To recover and repair, I sit out on the back porch and I try to be as a quiet as possible. I will have a drink and a cigar. I may spend two to four hours each night and early morning. I think it’s more about reestablishing my process / routine than quiet solitude. I have so many people that rely on me. I have to keep going. I can’t stop. I can’t let them down. I can’t ..... stop ..... trying! I am so tired. I am so exhausted. Trustwaves, do you ever feel like you ever get close to feeling relaxed? If so, what do you do to try?

 

[hxtp]

If I'm severely stressed, I wedge myself between the mattress and boxsprings for a few minutes, and then follow that up with the usual "deep relaxation" techniques (belly breathing and progressive muscle relaxation). If done correctly, it feels like a long, hot shower for a little longer than a long, hot shower. Also, have to turn off all sources of noise, dim the lights, make sure the cat is not in the room, and so on.

If I'm not severely stressed, I just do the deep relaxation techniques or stretches.

I think the big thing is doing something where I'm forced to pay attention to my immediate senses rather than getting lost in my head with all the what-ifs.

 

[SteveH]

Tell me how you relax!
I'm always in a state of stress / anxiety and can never relax.
Xxx

There are a few specific techniques that can be learned to quickly reduce physiological effects of stress. Each of these actually help turn off the stress mediators in the brain. Progressive Muscle Relaxations techniques is physical and really relaxes the body for sleep. Go through it every night before bed. There is a you tube video with good animation. In 3-4 weeks you will notice big change.

Breathing techniques are another group. 4/6 breathing has been shown to be effective. Just look at a second hand and inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 6 and hit it exactly with the second hand do that for 4-6 minutes. When you get good with this one you will be able to make a significant difference in 3-4 breaths. I like it because I can do it in any situation actively.

I practice Meditation/Mindfulness. I think a beginner could fast-track their way into this by taking Jon-Kabat Zinn Mindful Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program in your area. I think it is 8 classes long. It is actually taught in many hospitals.

I think these things might be more important for AS person because they can use these to minimize the effect of meltdowns, and may need a few more ticks in their bag to minimize the effect of stress.

Weight lifting, and listing to music are the most relaxing things I do the most. I practice meditation so weightlifting is a very focused relaxed thing. Sometimes music is like pressing a button.

 

[Pondering]

Ultimate relaxation kit (any combination of these, never all at the same time):

1. dog/cat
2. music
3. favorite movie/ tv show
4. hot chocolate/ hot tea/ hot coffee
5. reading a good book
6. being alone in a quiet area where there are no distractions/ nonessential stimuli
7. hot shower/ hot bath
8. talking one-on-one with a really patient, familiar, and understanding friend/family member

 

[trustwaves]

Reading and drawing - these two things I usually do relax me. If it doesn't work I go for a walk to refresh myself.

This works for me too but I forget that it does!