• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

How do you prevent overcrowding of your home?

Jenisautistic

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I have a lot of trouble finding a balance between owning stuff like using stuff and trying to figure out what to donate. as well as trying to keep organized. I also have difficulty with shopping sometimes especially with food cause I’m terrible at predicting how much food we need and I usually like to buy in bulk just in case of the weather or disaster. my grandmother and I live in a two bedroom apartment. and it’s really hard to keep our stuff together, especially when it comes to medical paperwork or things she is overseeing me, but things that still have my name with them. another factor is is that I also work I leave the house around 7 AM and get back usually around four by then I’m exhausted and go to sleep around six or seven because I wake up at 5 o’clock or 5:30 AM every day pretty much I just with the garbage and boxes and I need to get rid of and all the laundry and everything it’s nine feels like just too much. I have the laundry sent in most of the time to be cleaned because I’m worried that I might mess up my clothes. my grandmother has a whole bunch of stuff of her own as well, although she’s not nearly as bad as me at this time.

Another question is how do you guys clean up and how do you feel afterwards?
 
  1. Go paperless wherever possible, like for bank statements & bills.
  2. Get rid of all paper that is no longer relevant, like
    • financial records that are more than five years old &
    • notices for bygone events.
 
I find it difficult to keep things organized the way I want when there are so few hours in the day that aren't taken up with working or recovering for work the next day. @Jenisautistic, that sounds like a difficult schedule to find time to maintain your home.

Things that help me:

- Resetting every week. Even if I get busy during the week, on Sunday afternoons, I need time to reset everything and make preparations for the week ahead.

- Clean as you go. For me, everything must have a place and as much as possible, everything gets returned to its place as soon as I am done. I try to take the extra minute to put something away no matter how small it is.

- Continually inventory your material possessions and evaluate whether they are useful and necessary. I used to have the habit of saving everything that had potential value to me (mostly art and craft supplies). But, this became too much. Now, I look at things and consider them very critically and get rid of anything that I have not used in awhile or is not really necessary.

- Rearrange and reorganize. I rather enjoy arranging my things and organizing them, but also, this helps to know exactly what I have and to keep things tidy. I hate searching for things and losing things, so I like to keep aware of what I have and where it is (one of the reasons I get so irritated when people touch or move my things).
 
I have a really hard time cleaning, I like order, but I can't maintain it on my own. I currently have a social worker helping me, not like physically, but by creating tasks I can manage and putting them on my day plan. I feel great when I have cleaned.

I can relate to your challenges with buying the right amount of food - it is a challenge, I know you didn't ask for it, but what I usually do is to have frozen food as a backup - like I make some ekstra food and freeze it or explicit make food for freezing, I just froze two portions of pasta sauce an hour ago - when I then go shopping I know I'll not have to be exact on my shopping. I have succeeded in feeding me and my daughter in that way for many years, and we always get at least one hot meal every day :)
 
My personal "office" is located on one fold-out table, three filing cabinets, and two book-cases. If I have not needed something in a year or more, I either put it in storage, sell it, give it away, or throw it out. My personal storage are is less than 2 cubic meters, and is barely half-full (MRE's, tools, vacuum-packed clothing, and my secret stash of potent tubâ -- a Filipino alcoholic beverage created from the sap of various species of palm trees).
 
Routine!

I motive myself by thinking: if I do such and such now, then my conscious will be at peace and can do what I truly love to do.

If you came to our home ( hubby), you would immediately see who is the tidy one and it is not my husband lol

When I stick to my routine, everything gets done and a lot of time, surprised when I see I have more time left than I thought.

My husband was the one who "trained" me. He has always said: do the necessary things first, then you can do the pleasures. And, now that is what I do.

I prefer digital over paper and so, a lot of information is stored on my phone.
 
Buy two little file folders. One for you and one for your Grandma. They look like this:
iu

Keep all of your important documents filed in there, as soon as they are opened and read. If you haven't read your documents, then the unopened documents should go in a little box that's kept on a tabletop where you will remember to read them.

In the file folder, each person has a slightly different filing method.

So in yours, it might look like

1. Birth Certificate, Social Security Card, and childhood/adult vaccination history
2. Important medical documents.
3. Health insurance information and/or Public Assistance paperwork (SNAP, SSD)
4. Housing paperwork (rent contract and section 8 paperwork)
5. Automobile stuff (copy of registration, insurance, etc) (or maybe paperwork for mass transit dial a ride)
6. Paystubs
7. W2s for taxes
8. Prior tax returns
9. Wills/deeds/trusts, other old family papers
10. Random important papers that you can't figure out where to file.

Make one for Grandma too, with all of her important papers.

Every time you receive an updated document, put it at the front of the file section, so that you see it first. Keep all important old documents. But old ones that are not important anymore, or are duplicates of the new, should be shredded and then discarded.
 
The home thing- If you were to need to move to a new house, what would be important to bring? What would you not really care to have around if you lived somewhere new? Start simple with that.
 
If I haven't worn an article of clothing in the past year, then I put it in a cardboard box with other clothing I donate to charity. When the box is full, I drop it off at a local charity that employs teenagers who have served time in juvenile detention. They also take appliances, furniture, dishware and knickknack/decorating stuff. They are taught to clean and refurbish the items and then sell them in the store, like GoodWill Industries or Salvation Army.

I use manilla folders for all paperwork in a file cabinet. Each folder is labeled and alphabetized. I periodically purge the folders and burn the older papers. I also have an expandable file folder for warranties, instruction manuals, and documents relevant to appliances, power tools, etc. that we buy.
 
Just ruthlessly get rid of stuff. If it breaks, get rid of it, if it stopped serving its purpose, donate it. Don't collect paper. Realize and keep only what you consistently use. Keep little plastic drawers of those small things you always need on a counter or a area easy to access. Everyday, clean up a little bit, to keep from feeling overwhelmed.
 
I have a lot of trouble finding a balance between owning stuff like using stuff and trying to figure out what to donate. as well as trying to keep organized. I also have difficulty with shopping sometimes especially with food cause I’m terrible at predicting how much food we need and I usually like to buy in bulk just in case of the weather or disaster. my grandmother and I live in a two bedroom apartment. and it’s really hard to keep our stuff together, especially when it comes to medical paperwork or things she is overseeing me, but things that still have my name with them. another factor is is that I also work I leave the house around 7 AM and get back usually around four by then I’m exhausted and go to sleep around six or seven because I wake up at 5 o’clock or 5:30 AM every day pretty much I just with the garbage and boxes and I need to get rid of and all the laundry and everything it’s nine feels like just too much. I have the laundry sent in most of the time to be cleaned because I’m worried that I might mess up my clothes. my grandmother has a whole bunch of stuff of her own as well, although she’s not nearly as bad as me at this time.

Another question is how do you guys clean up and how do you feel afterwards?
Once the house reaches a comfortable limit, every new thing you buy means you have to get rid of something of equal volume. Keep the stuff you do have organized. A place for everything, and everything eventually gets back to its place.

I also figure that I don't need it if I haven't used something in a year. Time to send it off to Goodwill. I'll make an exception for an expensive item or something that cannot be replaced.

My wife doesn't feel the same way. "We have to keep it because it might be useful someday!" She doesn't place a value on available empty space, like I do.
 
I also figure that I don't need it if I haven't used something in a year. Time to send it off to Goodwill. I'll make an exception for an expensive item or something that cannot be replaced.
I kind of understand the principle, but, ok, I know I take things too literal sometimes, but like, I have a collection of paints (like hobby paint, airbrush paint, not paint for painting the house), there are colors I might not use for years but I'm usually quite happy I have them when I need them for a project. would you throw Individual colors, or is it like, if you use some, you keep all? or I have different tools, nails, that kind of stuff where I might not use all of them each year, but I can't predict which size hammer or nail I need in the future - sometimes I like to make stuff, it makes me happy to just be able to create when I want, and not having to buy everything first and wait for it to arrive. I must admit I have a lot of stuff for projects that I wanted to do at one time, but never got into, but then I might use it for something else... thank you ADHD, you have been quite expensive to carry around...
rose-box.jpg
 
I kind of understand the principle, but, ok, I know I take things too literal sometimes, but like, I have a collection of paints (like hobby paint, airbrush paint, not paint for painting the house), there are colors I might not use for years but I'm usually quite happy I have them when I need them for a project. would you throw Individual colors, or is it like, if you use some, you keep all? or I have different tools, nails, that kind of stuff where I might not use all of them each year, but I can't predict which size hammer or nail I need in the future - sometimes I like to make stuff, it makes me happy to just be able to create when I want, and not having to buy everything first and wait for it to arrive. I must admit I have a lot of stuff for projects that I wanted to do at one time, but never got into, but then I might use it for something else... thank you ADHD, you have been quite expensive to carry around...
View attachment 123423
I think it is a matter of how much volume the items occupy and how well you organize them. An organized collection of paints or nails will not take up much space. It isn't how useful a specific paint is, it is how useful the entire collection is. A crowded house is one where you have no room to add anything significant without making life difficult to navigate.

In my world, nails and screws of various types are an essential commodity that I use on a regular basis for household maint. and construction projects. I try to keep them organized but don't always succeed. One of those cabinets full of plastic drawers and a label maker comes in very handy.

Empty space has its own value, and what you own should be able to pay the "rent" for that space by being useful/sentimental/having increased future value. I differentiate between that and a messy house where there is room, just everything is not where it belongs.
 
I think it is a matter of how much volume the items occupy and how well you organize them. An organized collection of paints or nails will not take up much space. It isn't how useful a specific paint is, it is how useful the entire collection is. A crowded house is one where you have no room to add anything significant without making life difficult to navigate.

In my world, nails and screws of various types are an essential commodity that I use on a regular basis for household maint. and construction projects. I try to keep them organized but don't always succeed. One of those cabinets full of plastic drawers and a label maker comes in very handy.

Empty space has its own value, and what you own should be able to pay the "rent" for that space by being useful/sentimental/having increased future value. I differentiate between that and a messy house where there is room, just everything is not where it belongs.
Thank you for explaining, I have a couple of plastic boxes with my paints, it's not much space - I guess one could calculate for how much each unit of space in the home cost, and then do a strict calculation of the items that don't have sentimental value (like hobby stuff, the rarely used (kitchen) tool), multiplying the cost of replacing with the expected time for when it will be used next time, and see if it is better (cheaper) to get rid of it now, freeing the space and buying it again when/if it is needed or keeping it.
 
Organizing is a special interest, so oh boy, I could go on and on. LOL. But there are so many good replies here already that I'll just add a couple of thoughts.

1. When I'm dealing with overwhelm and/or lack of time, I'm a big fan of "no-mess decluttering" rather than the "pull everything out and make a bigger mess first" approach. When I've got 5-10 minutes, I can grab a small trash bag, set a timer if I want, then face a small "hot spot" I need to tackle. (That pile of mail by the door, a junk drawer, a shelf in the hall closet.) Obvious trash gets plucked out first. Then I address one item at a time until my time's up. Even though I work full time, I can manage this once or twice a week when I'm in decluttering mode, more as my executive functioning allows.

"No mess decluttering" is a technique I learned from Dana K. White, host of the podcast/blog A Slob Comes Clean. She's got books and YouTube videos on how to organize. Her approach is simple and great for making steady progress when you're overwhelmed.

2. I struggled with food shopping for years. I have limited pantry space, eating issues and budget concerns. By far, what helps the most is simple menu planning. I know it sounds like added time you don't have, but it saves so much in the long run!

I shop once a week, meaning enough for 7 breakfasts/lunches/dinners and a couple daily snacks. Since my family prefers a small list of favorite foods, it's easy to cycle through a rotation of meals. Before I do anything else, my first stop is the kitchen. Always check there first to see how many meals can be covered with what's already on hand. Whatever's left is what needs to be added to the menu/grocery list. This prevents rebuying duplicates or overstocking things that aren't needed.

I'll stop now before I make this any longer, ha. Best of luck with your organizing!
 
I'm often asking myself the same question.
But usually when people have certain hobbies, their homes become cluttered (this goes for NTs as well).

I get in a stress because there's stuff that I don't want really but don't want to get rid of in case I might need it in the near future. Or if it's a gift from a loved one. Or if I remember buying something that I've never used, I feel guilty getting rid of it (even donating) because I feel I had wasted my money. So I just store it, hoping I might use it one day.

But I live in a small apartment, ground floor so no attic, and modern building so no basement. All we have is one cupboard space, and that is full up with stuff.

Sometimes I just wish there was a vortex in our apartment where you can throw anything into it and it disappears (as in takes up no space anywhere in your home) until you reach your hand into it and it's still all there.
 
I've adopted a one-in-one-out rule: For anything that comes in the home, something has to go.

While it doesn't reduce what I have around, it does keep things in check.
 
Finally, if it's something that has sentimental value, then snap a picture of it, and donate it to a needy person. You can look at that picture and remember. My mother brought over a lot of knick knacks from my deceased grandmother, and l kept maybe one or two things and donated the rest. Because they don't serve any purpose except to make me miss her horribly. And remind me how horrible my mom was to her own mother. It was pretty bad. However, l flew my grandmother to Hawaii in her eighties, and l still smile when l think about the happiness she showed, and her smile of seeing Hawaii in her lifetime. That memory serves me well.
 
I have a lot of trouble finding a balance between owning stuff like using stuff and trying to figure out what to donate. as well as trying to keep organized. I also have difficulty with shopping sometimes especially with food cause I’m terrible at predicting how much food we need and I usually like to buy in bulk just in case of the weather or disaster. my grandmother and I live in a two bedroom apartment. and it’s really hard to keep our stuff together, especially when it comes to medical paperwork or things she is overseeing me, but things that still have my name with them. another factor is is that I also work I leave the house around 7 AM and get back usually around four by then I’m exhausted and go to sleep around six or seven because I wake up at 5 o’clock or 5:30 AM every day pretty much I just with the garbage and boxes and I need to get rid of and all the laundry and everything it’s nine feels like just too much. I have the laundry sent in most of the time to be cleaned because I’m worried that I might mess up my clothes. my grandmother has a whole bunch of stuff of her own as well, although she’s not nearly as bad as me at this time.

Another question is how do you guys clean up and how do you feel afterwards?
I like stuff a lot but not a lot of clutter.
I like a clean house and enjoy housework but when i am sick I get really tired.
I like it really clean and nice.
I think if you can eliminate a lot of clutter it could only be a good thing but it is hard as a woman not to buy.
 
Hello, I also had a similar difficulty (or rather, I still have it if I don't manage it), (adding that I also have ADHD). I overcame these challenges by watching various YouTube videos. I wanted to make a small but important premise: before finding the method that worked for me, I made many mistakes and was very hard on myself. Be kind to yourself and try to see your mistakes as future "lessons on what to avoid."

Here are some of my old mistakes: I embraced minimalism because I was tired of seeing things around. I literally gave away almost everything! Why? Because I took literally what I saw in YouTube videos, without considering my lifestyle, my needs, and my passions. So, I highly recommend watching videos about decluttering and minimalism, but do it with a clear head: think about your interests, hobbies, and lifestyle (make a list or whatever you prefer). Otherwise, you might end up like me, imposing impossible rules that caused a lot of stress because I thought I had to conform to the rules of minimalism! It became an obsession. So, I find it to be a good method, but it should be done based on your specific needs. Don't literally follow YouTubers who travel with just a backpack or those with only a fork, spoon, and bowl. Maybe it works for them, but it doesn't work for me. I forced myself to make it work because I thought if I didn't follow the rules of minimalism, then I didn't belong. This was one of my biggest mistakes.

Now, I know that I have many hobbies. I enjoy them all, and I don't have to sacrifice what I love to fit into a method. The method should adapt to me. I play the piano, make candles, often play PlayStation, work with resin, enjoy renovating my house, and have 20 binders with all my other scientific interests. It's okay for me because every hobby adjusts to my moods and needs on that particular day.

People may say, "You can't be autistic if you have all these interests" or "You can't have ADHD; you're organized and stick to plans." Stereotypes. Everything around us is based on stereotypes and generalizations. I imagine the word stereotype as a box. These boxes are too small to contain the myriad facets and variables of the human being! Don't feel obligated to box yourself in just because you think that if you don't, you cease to belong to that box!

Often, we fear new beginnings and change. If you don't feel comfortable, you can use a stereotype box that you like as a base/template to add your own touch (without taking away from yourself to fit into the box). Or, if you feel up to it, create one from scratch. Do what aligns with your personal needs. (This applies to many other discussions).

Returning to the beginning: I start the list with advice I found in a video: "Don't put it down; put it back in its place" (use something? Don't put it down; put it back in its original place).

1. I use an organization app with visual timers called Tiimo.
2. I read a book about ADHD that advises creating a task priority category: (urgent, medium, to be done leisurely). It's called "THE ADULT ADHD TOOL KIT" by J. Russel Ramsay & Antony L. Rostain. It helped me from a psychological standpoint and assisted me in adjusting rigid methods I had imposed on myself.
3. I divided my day into minutes using a pie chart (to avoid saying I don't have time and to visualize better). I made a general pie chart with my typical day (with obligations, etc.) and cut out the remaining "dead time" where I could add cleaning/hobbies and rest, creating another pie chart.
4. There are days when motivation is lacking, so I created backup plans: study and alternate with video games (a kind of modified Pomodoro timer).
5. Motivation often lacks, so for each activity, I write down the task duration so I can't make objections.
6. It's crucial to have various plans for possible scenarios (at least you're not caught unprepared and panicked). For example, if there's an unexpected event, I write down when I could do this and that, considering the urgency of tasks.
7. I also buy because I'm extremely catastrophic. I accept it as my peculiarity, but I have to moderate myself. I imagine that living with an elderly person brings additional concerns, like thinking the worst and wanting the elderly person to have everything at hand in the worst cases/scenarios. It's a lovely thought. You probably need to understand at a deeper level the motivations that lead you to do this, and only then can you overcome it. (I hope I haven't offended or seemed tactless; it's a simple suggestion of how I would handle it, but everyone is different, so do what helps you the most).

8. Set decluttering days and the goal you want to achieve with that decluttering (e.g., I want to clear the first drawer of the desk). Add: I'll start with the paper, and then add whatever you want, as long as you have a starting point and an endpoint. For example, I'll start with the paper and finish when at least 50% of the drawer is empty, and I can use it for X reason. Having a purpose is the basis of every success. Without a purpose and the various steps to reach it, you can fall into overwhelm and, ultimately, frustration and self-blame. I hope I've been helpful.

And remember, this works for me, and I wanted to share it to give you an idea. P.S. (It's just another day, made important by our tradition as a people), but conventionally, I wish you a happy new year (more like a wish for you to achieve your goals and dreams, but I would have said it even if it were May 8th).
 

New Threads

Top Bottom