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How do you feel after a breakup?

After my break-up last year, I had depression for quite a few weeks. After that, I sort of went back to my usual cheeky self. :)
Every now and again, a memory would pop into mind or a classmate would bring my ex's name up in a discussion, and the waterworks would start up again. :p

It took me a long time to recover from that .
 
I go through bouts of wanting to be completely alone, away from everyone. If I get dumped during that time, I'm just like, "Meh". It depends on where I am at mentally, because that determines what I will do, how I'll react, etc.

Other times, I feel crappy. Usually, though, I feel crappy anyway, because I feel like I'm always loved/liked more. I don't connect the same way. The Aspie in me is almost always the problem of the breakup.
 
Nowadays I don't have that problem.

In the past it depended upon the 'investment', on what I had to lose, bigger the loss the bigger my hissy fit. At this point I have lost everything I had, so I no longer react as there is nothing to lose. People come and go, if they left taking nothing of mine I would forget them within a week. I accept they left because of what I am, that somehow eases the transition.
 
I broke up with my ex about two years ago, a little less, and I still feel really bad about it. I'm definitely happier alone, but all of the mistakes I made and the bad things I went through still really get to me. I feel like I can't approach women out of romantic interest because I'm "damaged goods." I would like to date someone in a less serious manner at some point, but I'm really afraid of rejection and coming off as intellectually intimidating. I don't want to feel like I have been feeling all this time again because of another breakup.
 
I wrote a whole story but it feels too personal to post here as my first interaction.

My gf of 6 years broke up with me yesterday and I'm utterly lost. She was such a huge part of my routine and she has a bigger emotional importance to me than either of my parents.

My life has always been difficult, but I've never experienced a loss like this. I just don't know where to go from here.

Unlike any of my other relationships, this one had a very clean break up. Our relationship didn't die from lack of love or lack of effort. It died from exhaustion. I have nothing to be angry about. I'm just incredibly sad. I know which things I could've done better. But I don't know how.

I also feel like I judged her to be more durable (like me), but this was the hardest part of her life, where it was, regardless of everything, the best part of mine. I would never have left. But it had to end. I understand she had to choose for herself.

I want to believe there's still a chance, but all this has probably hurt her too much for her to want to try again, even if I get my life together and even if she recovers.
 
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my horoscope [I plotted it myself] basically revealed to me that romance is not in the cards for me this lifetime. in past lifetimes I was not a good person so now in this lifetime I must learn the consequences of such.
 
Tobs said:
I wrote a whole story but it feels too personal to post here as my first interaction.

My gf of 6 years broke up with me yesterday and I'm utterly lost. She was such a huge part of my routine and she has a bigger emotional importance to me than either of my parents.

My life has always been difficult, but I've never experienced a loss like this. I just don't know where to go from here.

Unlike any of my other relationships, this one had a very clean break up. Our relationship didn't die from lack of love or lack of effort. It died from exhaustion. I have nothing to be angry about. I'm just incredibly sad. I know which things I could've done better. But I don't know how.

I also feel like I judged her to be more durable (like me), but this was the hardest part of her life, where it was, regardless of everything, the best part of mine. I would never have left. But it had to end. I understand she had to choose for herself.

I want to believe there's still a chance, but all this has probably hurt her too much for her to want to try again, even if I get my life together and even if she recovers.
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Well THAT sucks. =o( As an old guy who has been through enough stuff to have some perspective I can say that when it gets to be mostly work for either or both then it was probably a bad match to start with. Takes two votes to join but only one to leave. Hard to see now, but know that there is someone else out there that it will just be easy with. Easy is the give-away that it is right. I know this doesn't help your pain right now, but maybe offers a little hope however distant. Remember who you are.
 
I think our weaknesses compounded. I could PM you the story if you want to give it some consideration. I am really stuck on what to do, but at the same time it feels so utterly personal I don't want it to just be open for anyone to read. But there are a lot of things I'm in conflict about.
 
Tobs said:
I think our weaknesses compounded. I could PM you the story if you want to give it some consideration. I am really stuck on what to do, but at the same time it feels so utterly personal I don't want it to just be open for anyone to read. But there are a lot of things I'm in conflict about.
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Feel free to PM me (haven't done that yet so forgive me if I eff it up). I would encourage you to take a breath and step back. Really. A breath. Maybe two. Think big picture and where you want to end up.
 
I started a private conversation (apparently what it's called). Hope you can find it. I don't intend to bother her at all at this point. She has to deal with all this her own way, not influenced by me at all. I've done enough unintentional influencing. I just want her to be free from all the weight she must have been feeling. I never intended to dictate anything.
 
Being single is crap. Especially so, if it took you long enough to find a relationship in the first place. I'm not sure what to suggest, other than distracting yourself with other activities until you may meet somebody nicer.
 
My last breakup was one of the happiest days of my life. Thus my lack of a pursuit since then. :cool:
 
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