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Hello from the Midwest! An artist struggling to find answers.

Do I have Aspergers / High-Functioning Autism?


  • Total voters
    1

Luis Diaz

New Member
Hi. My girlfriend and the mother of our child asked me to take the Autism Spectrum Quotient. Autism Spectrum Quotient I'm 39 years old.

She asked me because I have really terrible mood swings and I can get really angry really fast. A short temper. The last fight was because we didn't communicate well over the phone using text messages and I was suppose to pick her up at a certain time and she was not there when I came to pick her up. Her phone died and used her friends to communicate with me, but I had no idea so I never checked to view the messages form her friend.

I'm an artist and so is she. We get a long about 90% of the time, but each month sometimes her messiness and habits affect my more organized less cluttered lifestyle. Anyways so I got a score that says I have HFA. I took it 3x and it ranged from (29-33). I've read a lot of information online and also interviews with people with Aspergers and HFA.

I've never been clumsy or had the physical traits (symptoms) I see with children or adults in Aspergers, but I have and still do have issues with a lot of bothersome things. Here are some from the top of my head. I've never felt comfortable in social situations, standing in front of people, etc. gives me lots of anxiety. I rather be left alone than engage in social activity. I feel more comfortable just staying home and working on my art. I don't get anything from social interactions usually. I like routines and hate when someone breaks it. I organize a lot of things in my life and apartment. I've collected 600,000 images online since 2000. I hate it when I can't work on my art. I explode sometimes to the people around me when things don't go my way. I have to fix whatever problems are currently an issue that stops me from moving forward. I've had problems with bullies as a child because I was a small passive quiet boy.

I got suspended for bringing a weapon to school (metal pipe) because 3 guys were messing with my in the school bus as a teenager. I hated surprises by my parents (birthday parties). I always had a problem smiling as a child and found it meaningless unless there was a reason. I have a hard time keeping friends because it takes time away from my art. In school I had issues in English class with reading books and skipped school to avoid unfinished assignments (3rd grade). I was always good in math, but not very good at reading fast or reading fiction. When I do I tend forget what I'm reading and have to start over or usually think of something else while I read or create my own stories at the same time. I always preferred hanging out with girls as opposed to boys in school. I found girls more interesting and less intimidating.

I'm very honest and have a hard time lying. Sounds affect me and distract me like birds outside a window to the point of being incredibly agitated and wished to kill them if I could. I live in my head. I create stories and scenarios in my head all the time. There is no absence of creativity in that sense. When things go wrong I replay things over and over again. Things that have embarrassed me in the past I can't let go. I see things in my head very clearly and can have an entire story play and laugh out loud by myself or remember a moment vividly and do the same. I also have these paranoid visions of hurting myself or others when I see knives or sharp things around me. It makes me tense up my hand or fidget around until a few moments later when I think of something else. Also when I'm in high places I do the same. Very scared of heights.

When things don't go my way it destroys the rest of the progress I would have made that day. I get bored or anxious in social situations (parties, gatherings, etc). I usually leave early and it is draining mentally. I once threw up eating macaroni and cheese and never ate yellow cheese or gooey things that remind ed me of that moment again (it looks like barf).

I'm deathly afraid of insects (mostly cockroaches and bees or anything that can bite). I run or leave the room or feel it on my skin even when just thinking about it. (It's happening right now). I don't know. I told my brother and he thinks I don't have Aspergers. So after a rollercoaster of a week now I'm questioning if I do have Aspergers (ASD-HFA).
 
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It is very possible that you are on the autism spectrum,but we are primarily a support forum and not really professionals by any means,so we can only offer you comparisons to look at, friendship and information and not an actual assessment.
 
Welcome! I also live in the midwest. If you live in Central Illinois I can recommend a clinic that evaluates adults.
 
Welcome, Luis Diaz. While your description describes someone on the autism spectrum, only a psychiatrist or neurologist can diagnose ASD's. If it concerns you, seek out a psychiatrist. While Dr. Baron-Cohen's aspie test is useful, only a diagnosis from a trained medical professional can diagnose Aspergers.
 
Hello Friend,
Reading Everything you wrote, it seems there is a possibility you are on the spectrum. What you said about smiling was something that i deal with all the time.
. Some of the things you mentioned are just personality quirks. Nurture and not nature as it were. And i say that because dont attribute all the things that make you special, and that make you "you" to HFA. Its sort of woven into every part of everything you are, but it also doesn't define everything you are.
Dont be a victim, dont make excuses - go out there and kick ass! I'm sure you will.You live in the Midwest, so you must already have a high threshold for enduring less than perfect situations. - Just kidding :)

If diagnosis is what you need to help you , then great. Diagnosis helped me be more conscious about the way i managed my symptoms(or more i stopped fighting my symptoms) and that has definetly has helped me a lot.

Cheers-
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ALSO, i will repeat Everyone's sentiments and say - ultimately, this is something that must be discussed with a trained and liscenced professional.
 
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I was thinking about your thread some more... and i know how disprected you feel when you are trying to tell someone who should be a medical professional you think you have something, and they roll your eyes at you. Whether you do or dont have it, that is a crappy way to treat someone's medical concerns. The next time someone brushes you, stand up for yourself.

A lot of your story is just 1 specific anecdotal event. That doesn't mean much. When talking to a medical professional, i would focus on symptoms that are black and white bio markers of autism. Not stories about your childhood. Like light sensitivity, sound sensitivity, stimming,rocking, Palilalia, apraxia in youth, OCD . If you dont exhibit these, you may not have it, or be on the very high functioning side of the scale to the point where its not as severe representation of HFA. Please note this is not medical advice, as i am not a doctor. But if you want a psychologist to not dismiss you because you are telling him stories about a surprise birthday party you had once. Then I would really focus on discussing the more clear bio-markers first, and then get into the other stuff.

And, i know i am technically using the term bio-marker incorrectly, but you see what i mean.

Also... i know you were trying to make a point about impulse control, but that thing you said about sharp object is a bit unnerving. You should talk to therapist about that too.

Best regards
 

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