• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Hello from Michigan

Dawn

Member
Hi,
My name is Dawn, and I have an 18 yr old daughter named Laura. Although she has never been diagnosed Laura displays most of the aspergers symptoms. For most of her life we thought we were just dealing with learning disabilities, but as she gets older, and the more things I read, I believe there is more to it. In the past when I have spoken to her teachers about my concerns, they tell me that because she wants to be social than she must not have aspergers. Laura may want to be social, but she is not. She stares at her peers, wanting to fit in, but will not start conversations. Even when spoken to it is usually only 1-2 word answers. She does get on Facebook and attempt to talk to people. Mostly she keeps saying hi, but no one answers back.
when she does engage in a conversation a lot of times she will start an argument, like she does not know what to say, so she starts drama. Is this normal behavior for a person with aspergers? I know this is long, but I am so frustrated. I want so much to help her, but don't know what to do. Thanks for reading.
 
Welcome aboard :)

when she does engage in a conversation a lot of times she will start an argument, like she does not know what to say, so she starts drama.

This made gears start turning in my head! I have encountered similar behavior a few times with select Shaspies (She-Aspie, my new phrase.)
I am now wildly curious about this too, will be watching...

they tell me that because she wants to be social than she must not have aspergers.

I am beginning to think clueless people make this statement. (Not you, the teacher or whomever spoke that.)

Best wishes

 
Hi Dawn
And welcome
Unfortunately from what I have learnt a lot of girls/women go undiagnosed
It seems from a young age girls learn to adapt mimic fit in Whereas boys become more disruptive so get 'noticed'
It's never to late to seek a diagnoses and get help for yourself and your daughter.
 
Howdy! Maybe it would help her to come on the forum to see if she sees any similarities in herself after reading some posts. It would be a safe place for her to try to improve her socializing skills too and ask any questions. Just a thought. :)
 
Hello Dawn,
I appreciate your love and your sacrifice for your daughter. You might consider pointing her here. This could be a great place for her to find like conversation and possibly begin to understand things about herself.
Good Luck
 
Welcome Dawn

Yes, this is quite normal for those on the spectrum. A person with AS can have the desire to socialise; even if they struggle to do so. One thing I've learned, while being on this site, is that some may not necessarily struggle with socialising, so much, as understanding NTs (neurotyoicals, or non-AS). Some of us manage to communicate well with one another; but keep in mind, that everyone with AS is different.

Should you be considering a diagnoses for her, just know that it is not uncommon for some specialists to struggle to see AS; especially in females on the spectrum. This is because many females display different characteristics, to males, and many specialists are only trained to diagnose the more typical, male symptoms. Finding the right specialist, makes all the difference.

I'd like to recommend a few things for you to try.

This book is a good guide for parents, and Aspies, in helping understand the more female traits, and how they can typically affect a female on the spectrum: Aspergirls: Empowering Females With Asperger Syndrome | AspiesCentral.com

Here are some free links, which are a good starting place, to look up some typical, female, traits:

Aspienwomen: Adult Women with Asperger Syndrome. Moving towards a female profile of Asperger Syndrome | Tania Marshall

Day 62: Females with Asperger’s Syndrome (Non-Official) Checklist | Everyday Asperger's

I also recommend looking up Dr.Tony Attwood: Home

The resources section has much more to offer as well: Autism & Asperger's Resources | AspiesCentral.com

Some non-official AS tests you might want to attempt: Online Tests | Life on the Spectrum

I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
 

New Threads

Top Bottom