• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Have you ever been happy?

Aspiegirl75

Aspiegirl75

Active Member
And I don't mean 'omg, I aced this test'-happy or I just got asked out by this hot guy/girl-happy. Or anything along these lines.
I mean HAPPY, you know, like it's always portrayed on TV or in books (well, until the ultimate tragedy hits!!! ), or like those friend couples you know who are so in love and so happy, it makes you nauseous! :p
For me, happiness has always been but fleeting moments, few and far in between!!
I don't even think I know anymore what that really means and I'd sure be grateful for some explanations.
No matter what happened in my life there was something holding back that darn happiness, anybody else?!
 
Fleeting moments. As if happiness was a pretty butterfly to be chased but never caught.

Guilty as charged. :(
 
I have had happy moments, as you described them throughout my life. However, I would say that for the vast majority of the time I'm just rather indifferent.
 
I been much happier in life cutting out people that caused pain. The other thing made me happy having a stable job and being out of provety. Since I aiming to live as a hermit, I ensure I have enough things to keep me busy so I can stay happy.
 
The Penguin said:
I been much happier in life cutting out people that caused pain. The other thing made me happy having a stable job and being out of provety. Since I aiming to live as a hermit, I ensure I have enough things to keep me busy so I can stay happy.
Click to expand...
But do you think that's happiness or contentment?
 
Yes. Life was beautiful just a few years ago. It wasn't a healthy relationship, though, as I was codependent with someone who has a borderline personality disorder. Energetically, it wasn't right for the both of us as she has mental health issues, but I don't regret any moment as she showed me what it really felt like to feel loved for the first time. It was a wonderful gift that lasted for a year.
 
@Aspiegirl75 , the distinction that you make is known in the Bible as "joy." I can honestly say that since I have been born-again (in the John 3:3 sense), I have been immersed in joy (not the dish soap, either). Happiness comes and goes just like pleasure does, but joy resides in being acutely aware of God's love for me, regardless of my circumstances.
 
Last edited:
Aspiegirl75 said:
But do you think that's happiness or contentment?
Click to expand...
I will tell you this, people who do speak to me notice I been a lot happier with the changes I made in my life compare to other years. Mind you, most people can't handle the type life I'm having.

Anyhow, hopefully you find your happiness one day.
 
I've been happy at certain points in my life. I was happy when I was studying Spanish in 2003 and 2004 at Kent State. I was happy when I was with Lisa before she left.
Last year, after Lisa (my kinda sorta girlfriend at the time) came out of my life, I thought I'd never be happy again. I tried to kill myself months after it happened. I was put on Zoloft, and I now have some will to live. (Crying about it all helped, too.)
 
It's much harder to achieve happiness than it's opposite. Think that I've worked very hard at being happy within over time. Used to be quite depressed, and it lasted for many years. I will never, ever, go back to that place where nothing gave me joy or contentment. It was an overwhelming horrid dark pit that I slowly pulled myself out of, sometimes by inches over years.

Discovered happiness and contentment along the way by simply being, doing, enjoying my life, without it coming from outside of me. Stopped listening to what the world proclaimed happiness was. The more I knew and cared about myself, respected myself, understood myself, the happier I became.

Rediscovered that long-ago innocent child rolling down a hill giggling. It came back, that understanding of what that feels like and meant and was and is. Like anything worthwhile in life, you need to find out what it is that does that for you exclusively.
 
Last edited:
"Mortality is a long symphony of misery punctuated by only occasional moments of triumph." -Vivec the demigod from Elder Scrolls: Morrowind. This is something I've understood to be true since I was maybe 13.

One of my bosses (with a masters in psychology) once told me that I'm pathologically incapable of being happy, as an explanation of why attempting to appease me would do no good, and she told me why: I've had fleeting periods of time in which I found some measure of happiness, but it got snatched away over and over, so at this point even if I ever find happiness again I won't be able to enjoy it because I'll just be waiting for the other shoe to drop, for that happiness to get taken away again.

So, she wasn't really a "self-esteem-at-all-costs" type of person, but the thing is, she was spot on - it was one of those rare moments I was left speechless. So I guess by that definition, yes I have been happy before, and I think I can be again, but I doubt it'll look the same as past iterations of "happy" and it will probably be something I find without actively looking for it; it'll come to be without imposing my will upon the world to force it to happen.
 
Aspiegirl75 said:
And I don't mean 'omg, I aced this test'-happy or I just got asked out by this hot guy/girl-happy. Or anything along these lines.
I mean HAPPY, you know, like it's always portrayed on TV or in books (well, until the ultimate tragedy hits!!! ), or like those friend couples you know who are so in love and so happy, it makes you nauseous! :p
For me, happiness has always been but fleeting moments, few and far in between!!
I don't even think I know anymore what that really means and I'd sure be grateful for some explanations.
No matter what happened in my life there was something holding back that darn happiness, anybody else?!
Click to expand...
I once read some research that some people are wired to be on a higher continuum of "happiness" than others(and that is for neuro-typicals). I know that I'm not one of those people. It even stresses me out to be around those kinds of people for too long. I'd rather be contented and relaxed.
 
SteveH said:
I once read some research that some people are wired to be on a higher continuum of "happiness" than others(and that is for neuro-typicals). I know that I'm not one of those people. It even stresses me out to be around those kinds of people for too long. I'd rather be contented and relaxed.
Click to expand...
Yes! Overly cheerful people make me rage.
 
I have my moments. When there is no one but me outside (no humans, anyway), I just feel like I love weather so much.
 
Yes. Despite all my struggles, this seems to be a state I can achieve by simply eliminating sources of stress; even though I give up lots of other things, too.

Worth it.
 
Aspiegirl75 said:
And I don't mean 'omg, I aced this test'-happy or I just got asked out by this hot guy/girl-happy. Or anything along these lines.
I mean HAPPY, you know, like it's always portrayed on TV or in books (well, until the ultimate tragedy hits!!! ), or like those friend couples you know who are so in love and so happy, it makes you nauseous! :p
For me, happiness has always been but fleeting moments, few and far in between!!
I don't even think I know anymore what that really means and I'd sure be grateful for some explanations.
No matter what happened in my life there was something holding back that darn happiness, anybody else?!
Click to expand...
You might try counting your blessings; the things that are good in your life. Even us NT's are not in a complete state of happiness all the time. Life sort of gets in the way. Life on TV is not reality! It is about liking yourself just the way you are. You also might find some suggestions at www.aspergerexperts.com.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom