Getting Stressed Out When Things Are Moved/Changed

[chris87]

This is my first time posting here, and I was hoping to get some input. I've been to multiple psychiatrists, and I've had so many different labels thrown at me (ADHD, OCD, Social Anxiety, ASD/AD, Depression, etc.). I feel like I have a bunch of varying/overlapping issues and no clear understanding of how certain symptoms correspond to a particular disorder. One thing that I often read about with ASD/Asperger's is a dislike for change. I never really thought that this issue applied to me, but now I'm wondering if I just never thought about it correctly.

This probably sounds ridiculous, but one example is the layout of my wallet. Everything has to be kept in the same position, and I can't handle any changes. If I move my license to a different slot, it will really stress me out. I feel like any modifications are out of the question. It's not worth it for me to even try, because it will just make me upset.

Another example would be something as silly as my browser layout (ie. Chrome). I came into work one morning, and I felt like something was different. I was pretty sure that my bookmarks bar hadn't previously been showing and now it was. I couldn't stop fretting about it and wasted time trying to find a browser screenshot from an earlier time. I know it doesn't matter, but my brain just wouldn't let it go. What could have ended up being a good day was derailed by something so trivial.

I could really apply this to all sorts of situations. One of my coworkers once borrowed my chair while I was out of the office. That would normally have been fine, but the person readjusted my chair configuration, and it made me so anxious. Similarly, I can't even move the seat settings in my car (from when I originally set them). It will make me stressed out, and I'll be thinking nonstop about how the new settings are different from what I previously had.

I don't have this problem with everything, so I'm not sure why certain things trigger it.

Does this make sense to anyone? Can anybody relate?

 

[TheFreeCat]

-quite normal for specties, I think. I ride with it, knowing it's all temporary. If you have ever been sick and being wheeled down the all , naked and alone with everything you have in a steel locker, you get the idea it was all temporary. Big changes make it clear that we are not in control.

However, that can just exacerbates it, really. After a big change, you can get obsessed about the corner of your sheet turned out and not in because it's all you can control.

I don't know if it's a bad thing. we are here for a minute and then poof. If it helps, do it. -

 

[Bolletje]

I can relate. When I was a kid I stopped inviting this one friend over because he would touch my stuff and pick it up.
I also have this coworker who sits at my desk when I am not in. I can always tell because she doesn’t put my keyboard and mouse back the way I always leave it after work. The first day we worked together I completely freaked out (silently, inside my head) because she put everything in our shared shelf back in the wrong place. Since then I’ve cleared out a shelf she can use for herself, so I won’t have to deal with that chaos, and I’ve sort of resigned to my desk looking wrong after a day off. As much as it bugs me, I just can’t justify having an argument with my coworker over the position of my keyboard.

 

[Mr Allen]

I have this problem with my main care company.

They regularly change who's coming with NO notice even though I've repeatedly told them I don't like it when they do that, as an Aspie I kind of like things "set in stone" when it comes to routine, this company are supposed to be Autism specific, so you'd think they'd know about that kind of thing, obviously not.

 

[OlLiE]

i have issues with it too,

i try to keep it in check by trying to determine in which cases it doesn't really matter, and i can let it go, conversely when it does matter then i can't really let it go

 

[Progster]

I don't like it when I go for something and it's been moved from its place, but I think that nobody likes that, to be honest. I'm not so bad with changes that are expected and I have been informed of in advance, it's sudden changes that really stress me out.

 

[Pats]

I don't like changes in routine, it's a bit upsetting. I don't like schedule changes or not knowing what to expect when I get somewhere. I don't like when someone changes my seat position or someone else puts something back in the wrong place. Oh - it drove me bats when I had a sister in law who would seriously put things where they don't belong - like silverware in the utensils drawer. She got the fork out of the silverware drawer - put it back there, not with the spatulas.
But on the other hand, some changes I like. I spend the majority of my time changing my apartment. Every time my daughter in law comes down, she looks around to see what I've changed now. I move furniture around, paint or paper the walls, change the flooring. I changed the color scheme in my bathroom twice before it was a completed bathroom and twice after it was completed. And if I see something I decide I'm not crazy about, I can't stop looking at it trying to figure out what I need to do until it's changed. In the 5 years I've lived here, my walls have been 4 totally different colors. But that's what I enjoy doing and when someone makes a comment about it I just say that's what I do.

 

[BraidedPony]

Having someone on my computer while I was out would really tick me off. Back when I was still working, I would unplug the monitor from the tower if I was going on vacation. Most of them wouldn’t think to look for that.
It is understandable you dont want your stuff messed with and put out of order. We have places we like things to be for a reason, so people shouldn’t mess with our stuff.

 

[Tom]

Disliking change, sometimes to extremes is quite common among autistics. I'd say its one of the main markers I look for (and easy to recognize).

I've always been an organization nut. Arranging my things very carefully. Which is another aspect, though not as common. That is liking things in order.

 

[Judge]

Going to the store where everything is familiar to you, making shopping easy.

Until it isn't anymore because a manager decided to move everything around, in an attempt to get patrons to notice other products they likely have no interest in anyways. So a routine of picking out what I need becomes an exercise in frustration, taking much longer than usual.

Something that easily upsets me.

 

[Progster]

I don't like changes in routine, it's a bit upsetting. I don't like schedule changes or not knowing what to expect when I get somewhere. I don't like when someone changes my seat position or someone else puts something back in the wrong place. Oh - it drove me bats when I had a sister in law who would seriously put things where they don't belong - like silverware in the utensils drawer. She got the fork out of the silverware drawer - put it back there, not with the spatulas.
But on the other hand, some changes I like. I spend the majority of my time changing my apartment. Every time my daughter in law comes down, she looks around to see what I've changed now. I move furniture around, paint or paper the walls, change the flooring. I changed the color scheme in my bathroom twice before it was a completed bathroom and twice after it was completed. And if I see something I decide I'm not crazy about, I can't stop looking at it trying to figure out what I need to do until it's changed. In the 5 years I've lived here, my walls have been 4 totally different colors. But that's what I enjoy doing and when someone makes a comment about it I just say that's what I do.

There's a big difference between someone not putting things back in their proper place, and changes that you have made yourself. When you are making the changes, you are in control - you have thought about it and decided where things should be. When someone else makes changes, it signifies a loss of control, and this is what is so upsetting.

 

[Mr Allen]

Going to the store where everything is familiar to you, making shopping easy.

Until it isn't anymore because a manager decided to move everything around, in an attempt to get patrons to notice other products they likely have no interest in anyways. So a routine of picking out what I need becomes an exercise in frustration, taking much longer than usual.

Something that easily upsets me.

Indeed, you just get used to where stuff is in a certain aisle in Tesco and then they move everything! Grr! SO annoying.