Forgetting objects when out of sight

[Misty Avich]

Today my husband was taking me to visit my brother. I had borrowed two DVDs from him quite a few months ago now and the last time I saw him he asked if I could return his DVDs to him so I said I will.
So a couple of days before today I found the DVDs and placed them on the arm of the chair ready to take when I see my brother.
But my husband must have moved them, because I forgot all about them, then today when my brother asked if I had the DVDs I suddenly realised I had forgotten them.
I had forgotten them because they were moved out of sight. If they had remained on the arm of the chair I would have remembered to bring them.
I wish I had told my husband not to move them, or to tell him the reason they were placed there, but I forgot, as usually he leaves my stuff alone (not because I don't like my stuffed touched, as I don't mind my stuff being touched, in fact I don't even notice when my stuff is touched, just like I didn't notice the DVDs had been moved).
But if things are put away I will forget about them. If I lived alone I would probably have all the objects I need to remember scattered around on the couch, the table or the floor, otherwise I won't remember them. My therapist said it was a classic ADHD symptom. He wasn't wrong lol.

Anyway, does anyone else here forget things if they're out of sight? Most people like things to be tidied away but to me that is chaotic. And don't suggest I write things down to remind myself haha - I've done that before and forgot to look at the note!

 

[Progster]

Yes, and I leave them out where I will see them to remind myself too. I've lost a lot of umbrellas in my lifetime, but also things like remembering to take the rubbish to the bin. I have to leave the rubbish bag just outside the door to remember to take it.

 

[Au Naturel]

The older I get, the more it happens to me. Natural wear and tear on the brain, I suspect. The same thing can happen from being distracted.

 

[Suzanne]

Oh, I am worse than that! I say: right, I will put it right by the front door and guess what? Forget it.

So now what I do, is actually put what ever it is that is needed, in the boot of the car and that way, it doesn't matter if I forget and it works a treat.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

"Out of sight, out of mind." pretty much explains my existence. People, places, things, whatever. This is why, personally, I need to have many short and long-term goals in my life. I think it's what keeps me on track. I need to get up in the morning with a purpose, an agenda, a list of things to get done. I also need one of those big countertop calendars so I can write things on.

Have you ever gone to the store to pick up that one thing that you needed, only to come home with a handful of other things, and NOT the one thing you needed? Lists are so helpful.

 

[kriss72]

Oh no, you are not alone, if not in front of my eyes, it might as well not exist, it has it's upsides too though, like ohh I have this thing fot that project I forgot about... cool... but also too much food is going bad in my refrigerator because I forget about it, transparent boxes helps on that

The autistic part of me like order and things having its place, but the ADHD part of my brain always wins after the initial "let's get this in order" moment... so chaos usually describes my home

 

[Slime_Punk]

Can vouch for that being pretty bad with 'AuDHD'.

Recently I deleted spotify playlists just so I could start fresh, and now I'm thinking to myself "What bands did I even used to listen to?". I probably listen to music more often than 95% of the population, and yet here we are!

 

[Hypnalis]

Not identical, but close:

Doorway effect - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Human memory doesn't work like a camera. Selectively forgetting unimportant things is a feature not a bug.
But it's subjective (what is/isn't important?) and dynamic (priorities change due to external factors and internal ones).

Internal factors unique to Aspies could include e.g one person too many joining a group overloading your masking bandwidth.

In the OP, it's looks like an external factor. You put something in a place where you expected to see it when it was needed. Then you forgot the object and/or the image. Then the "trigger for action" was removed.

The consequences aren't your fault. I'm on the fence about your husband's actions. But he could have made a similar error related to processing your request not to move the CD's - maybe he was mentally overloaded at the time, and had good cause to forget your request.

I'd go with everyone involved forgiving themselves and each other, and nobody being concerned about an ominous loss of mental acuity

FWIW I bet having a designated place to temporarily store "triggers" like that would we useful.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Anyway, does anyone else here forget things if they're out of sight? Most people like things to be tidied away but to me that is chaotic. And don't suggest I write things down to remind myself haha - I've done that before and forgot to look at the note!

I am a charter member of that club.

The older I get, the more it happens to me. Natural wear and tear on the brain, I suspect. The same thing can happen from being distracted.

I have been that way since early childhood. The only thing I usually don't misplace are my eyeglasses because I am legally blind without them, but even those I HAVE managed to lose a few times.

"Out of sight, out of mind." pretty much explains my existence.

Have you ever gone to the store to pick up that one thing that you needed, only to come home with a handful of other things, and NOT the one thing you needed? Lists are so helpful.

That, and getting to the checkout and finding I left wallet at home. MANY. MANY TIMES.