Fear: Do you experience fear in situations that are probably safe situations?

[obvs]

Please vote before you read the post. I am curious about people's perceptions before reading this as well as people's input afterward:

Last night, I started to read about a syndrome where people have too much cortisol(stress hormone from the adrenal glands), and a lot of the psychological symptoms seemed similar to autism.

I started to wonder if autism is caused by the body having too much cortisol and experiencing an unusual amount of fear(and consequentially pessimism).

For example, I wonder if we start off as children having too much cortisol, feeling too much fear, and that people see that in our faces(or smell it), and reject us for it(creating a feedback loop, where we're more scared to try to socialize).

And fear can also cause people to not do things, because of the assumption that things won't work out.

And fear is also said to heighten your senses and sharpen your thinking.

But fear seems like it would make someone less likely to look at multiple options, or try something new, or be trying to do multiple steps.

Do you think that each item in the DSM5 Autism criteria seems like an expression of fear or a result of fear?

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I do not know if it is fear or just a healthy respect for consequences when I am standing above a Class IV rapid and mapping out my moves for a canoe, or when preparing to dive in an overhead environment like a cave or wreck. But, in some rapids, like Blossom Bar on the Rogue, I am running on Adrenaline by the end.

 

[Levitator]

Well, I've lived in a war zone and I have injuries from it. I feel like I've seen pretty much everything, and it's proven to me that life is not random, and it follows a purpose, so I'm paradoxically more likely to be afraid of something pretty trivial, like a social interaction, rather than of something big. And then I try to remind myself of that and push past little things.

"Frankenstein nevah scared me,
Marsupials do.
Because they're fast!!"

 

[Misty Avich]

And fear can also cause people to not do things, because of the assumption that things won't work out.

And fear is also said to heighten your senses and sharpen your thinking.

I can relate to this bit. It's the main reason why I'm avoidant of getting pregnant and having a baby. People treat me like I'm blissfully choosing not to have children, but it isn't like that. I get so broody and would love a child of my own, but the fear of pregnancy and giving birth really puts me off completely. I have hypersensitivity to pain so I know that I'd probably feel all the little twinges and nausea and pains associated with pregnancy more than the average woman, and giving birth (whether natural or C-section) would just kill me.
I have a fear of being unable to understand or control what my body wants to do or will do, and during pregnancy your body can do all sorts of things, including the labour.
I've only got to feel a little nauseous and I start worrying and fretting about vomiting even though every time I feel nauseous I don't actually vomit. But when pregnant nausea and sickness is fairly common, and I know I'd be focusing on that the whole time, probably being scared to come out of the bathroom. I get like that anyway when feeling nauseous. I remember when I had vertigo with an ear infection last spring, I took all my stuff into the bathroom and sat in there for like 4 hours, frightened to come away from the toilet in case I'll be sick.

It's such a shame I am this conscientious about any possible pain or discomfort that can commonly associate with pregnancy. But it's just fear; fear of being in pain and fear of vomiting and fear of being poked and prodded about by doctors and midwives, and not quite knowing what your body is going to do. Pushing during labour is like throwing up; it is hard to resist even if they're telling you not to push yet, whilst having their fingers inside you to see how much you're dilated and all of that.
I bet all that is on the same pain and discomfort level as the torture devices they used back in the 1500s to punish people.

 

[Levitator]

I can relate to this bit. It's the main reason why I'm avoidant of getting pregnant and having a baby. People treat me like I'm blissfully choosing not to have children, but it isn't like that. I get so broody and would love a child of my own, but the fear of pregnancy and giving birth really puts me off completely. I have hypersensitivity to pain so I know that I'd probably feel all the little twinges and nausea and pains associated with pregnancy more than the average woman, and giving birth (whether natural or C-section) would just kill me.
I have a fear of being unable to understand or control what my body wants to do or will do, and during pregnancy your body can do all sorts of things, including the labour.
I've only got to feel a little nauseous and I start worrying and fretting about vomiting even though every time I feel nauseous I don't actually vomit. But when pregnant nausea and sickness is fairly common, and I know I'd be focusing on that the whole time, probably being scared to come out of the bathroom. I get like that anyway when feeling nauseous. I remember when I had vertigo with an ear infection last spring, I took all my stuff into the bathroom and sat in there for like 4 hours, frightened to come away from the toilet in case I'll be sick.

It's such a shame I am this conscientious about any possible pain or discomfort that can commonly associate with pregnancy. But it's just fear; fear of being in pain and fear of vomiting and fear of being poked and prodded about by doctors and midwives, and not quite knowing what your body is going to do. Pushing during labour is like throwing up; it is hard to resist even if they're telling you not to push yet, whilst having their fingers inside you to see how much you're dilated and all of that.
I bet all that is on the same pain and discomfort level as the torture devices they used back in the 1500s to punish people.

I'm sorry, Misty. This is probably best for ladies to respond to, but I respect women so much for exactly this sort of thing. They have a very beautiful burden to carry, since they are the ones who are more involved in creating life, and it's something my last date characterized very well, and I felt like she was reading my mind when she said it. It's seldom discussed in this detail from your perspective, but guys should hear it and remember to love extra, be compassionate, hold the door open, and so on.

 

[Magna]

I would like a 4th option to be able to say that it depends on the situation.

Example: Most humans fear public speaking, as do I. Realistically, unless the crowd a person is speaking to is so hostile that they're actually likely to turn violent or deadly......most all public speaking situations are actually safe. This fear response is probably a holdover in our evolution as primates where eons ago one who put forth an idea, directive, warning, suggestion, offer, etc they likely ran more of a risk of being killed by the group.

I've had a problem in life sometimes by feeling the opposite of your polling question: I've felt safe in situations that I should not have felt safe in and as such have been in dangerous situations I should have avoided.

 

[Levitator]

I would like a 4th option to be able to say that it depends on the situation.

Example: Most humans fear public speaking, as do I. Realistically, unless the crowd a person is speaking to is so hostile that they're actually likely to turn violent or deadly......most all public speaking situations are actually safe. This fear response is probably a holdover in our evolution as primates where eons ago one who put forth an idea, directive, warning, suggestion, offer, etc they likely ran more of a risk of being killed by the group.

I've had a problem in life sometimes by feeling the opposite of your polling question: I've felt safe in situations that I should not have felt safe in and as such have been in dangerous situations I should have avoided.

No, people really are crazy. I was chased out of a diner by an angry crowd once, and all it took was for the barkeep to declare me the bad guy to the clientele with the announcement I was "86ed", and they are like tribesmen ready to take their orders from Chief Barkeep. It was insane, it has a long history of being that way, and you need only be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

[obvs]

I would like a 4th option to be able to say that it depends on the situation.

Example: Most humans fear public speaking, as do I. Realistically, unless the crowd a person is speaking to is so hostile that they're actually likely to turn violent or deadly......most all public speaking situations are actually safe. This fear response is probably a holdover in our evolution as primates where eons ago one who put forth an idea, directive, warning, suggestion, offer, etc they likely ran more of a risk of being killed by the group.

I've had a problem in life sometimes by feeling the opposite of your polling question: I've felt safe in situations that I should not have felt safe in and as such have been in dangerous situations I should have avoided.

Could you give an example of situations where you have felt safe in situations that you should have not felt safe?

I am not asking out of disbelief, but more because I want to see the kinds of unsafe situations you have felt safe in.

 

[Levitator]

Could you give an example of situations where you have felt safe in situations that you should have not felt safe?

I am not asking out of disbelief, but more because I want to see the kinds of unsafe situations you have felt safe in.

There are times when I have wished the sadness and anger glands would exhaust themselves, but they seem to have no limits. The fear "gland" does, though. It gets tired, it gives up, and life becomes normal again even in the face of terrible things.

 

[Levitator]

Speaking of phobias. I'm about a day late delivering something I was asked to because it involved social media, and I didn't anticipate what an uphill battle it would be to motivate myself to do it. I'm sure that, no matter what, it will be found inadequate. I'm fine letting myself down at social media, but not someone else.

 

[Magna]

Could you give an example of situations where you have felt safe in situations that you should have not felt safe?

I am not asking out of disbelief, but more because I want to see the kinds of unsafe situations you have felt safe in.

Certainly: One was dealing with an irate person in the context of a job I had. While I understood that the man was upset with me, given my lack of ability to fully read, understand and interpret a person's non-verbal communication, I had no idea how irate he was. I felt perfectly safe. His level of upset was not registering with me. It was only after he said explosively that he felt like punching me in the face did I realize he was as that upset and his continued escalation made me realize only then that I was in a situation of possibly being hit.

 

[Levitator]

Certainly: One was dealing with an irate person in the context of a job I had. While I understood that the man was upset with me, given my lack of ability to fully read, understand and interpret a person's non-verbal communication, I had no idea how irate he was. I felt perfectly safe. His level of upset was not registering with me. It was only after he said explosively that he felt like punching me in the face did I realize he was as that upset and his continued escalation made me realize only then that I was in a situation of possibly being hit.

This is really the kind of toxicity I'm trying to keep out, no offense. I've seen enough violence and brutality for a lifetime.

 

[Magna]

This is really the kind of toxicity I'm trying to keep out, no offense. I've seen enough violence and brutality for a lifetime.

No offense taken. I'm a victim of two unrelated incidences of violent crime, both of which resulted in me having PTSD. I agree with you on this subject.

 

[Levitator]

No offense taken. I'm a victim of two unrelated incidences of violent crime, both of which resulted in me having PTSD. I agree with you on this subject.

I've seen war with exotic weapons, attempted muggings, bullets flying by outside from a drive-by, countless fistfights, I've been choked and pinned to a pool table, I've had to fend off someone who thought he was going to perform a citizens' arrest but found it more challenging than expected. The list goes on and on, and that's probably more than enough to recount. I had someone drag me out of their hotel a few weeks ago to avoid paying me my deposit. It would be easier if there were a way to replenish the soul with positive experiences with others, but this forum is it for me right now.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

My situations are hard and I am trying but I do not understand or see it as rational and feel very lonely and very stuck.
I am struggling a lot with self harm because something has hurt my heart very badly.
I get scared of it all or why.
I just want to self harm all the time because now that is what I am used to
Because I need to be seen, have some love and care, know that I will be loved and people are for me, feel like God loves me and sees my pain and forgives me for things I cannot be, sees my personality and tries to not make out like I am a stuck up snob and punish me when I am not..
Even if there is some stuck up snob in me..i do not once where it agrees with me because I really like getting along with all types and I do not see how I am better than others and it interferes with my caring side.
I do not see how it just arrives when I am not the most confident person anyway
Even if you had some stuck up side it is hard for anyone with adhd or autism.
Anyway I do not always want to be punished for me.
I only ever liked anyone because I cared about them.
Anyway i will not be told lies or that I regressed forever despite what mean or cruel people do to me.
I will not be manipulated by anyone
And if I fight to the death with these truths I will because no manipulative narcissistic woman will ever pull me down and not all women are that so that is a lie to say they are.
I cannot stand a woman who is wily nily and only cares about her way and her life.

And that is not me and want to be free from it. It is killing me inside to be ripped apart like this
I cannot even understand how I could be so unwell and situation are ripping my insides and heart to death and causing me immense conflict which will end up making me very unwell because I do not enjoy constant conflict.
I am trying to be happy and healthy again and feel beautiful and I do not always feel beautiful and have been very neglected and am trying to build confidence and yet still am unafraid of feeling like a pretty and beautiful woman who can stand tall because women are so cruel and get a jealous eye so easy
I am afraid to be who I am because of women and their jealousy and feel like if a woman does not love themselves I will take the blame and I am still trying to love myself as well but do in a sense but confidence is hard build.

 

[Levitator]

My situations are hard and I am trying but I do not understand or see it as rational and feel very lonely and very stuck.
I am struggling a lot with self harm because something has hurt my heart very badly.
I get scared of it all or why.
I just want to self harm all the time because now that is what I am used to
Because I need to be seen, have some love and care, know that I will be loved and people are for me, feel like God loves me and sees my pain and forgives me for things I cannot be, sees my personality and tries to not make out like I am a stuck up snob and punish me when I am not..
Even if there is some stuck up snob in me..i do not once where it agrees with me because I really like getting along with all types and I do not see how I am better than others and it interferes with my caring side.
I do not see how it just arrives when I am not the most confident person anyway
Even if you had some stuck up side it is hard for anyone with adhd or autism.
Anyway I do not always want to be punished for me.
I only ever liked anyone because I cared about them.
Anyway i will not be told lies or that I regressed forever despite what mean or cruel people do to me.
I will not be manipulated by anyone
And if I fight to the death with these truths I will because no manipulative narcissistic woman will ever pull me down and not all women are that so that is a lie to say they are.
I cannot stand a woman who is wily nily and only cares about her way and her life.

And that is not me and want to be free from it. It is killing me inside to be ripped apart like this
I cannot even understand how I could be so unwell and situation are ripping my insides and heart to death and causing me immense conflict which will end up making me very unwell because I do not enjoy constant conflict.
I am trying to be happy and healthy again and feel beautiful and I do not always feel beautiful and have been very neglected and am trying to build confidence and yet still am unafraid of feeling like a pretty and beautiful woman who can stand tall because women are so cruel and get a jealous eye so easy
I am afraid to be who I am because of women and their jealousy and feel like if a woman does not love themselves I will take the blame and I am still trying to love myself as well but do in a sense but confidence is hard build.

There's a difference between being stuck up and contradicting people who treat you like you have no worth, thus being perceived as arrogant. It's the same as the guy lying in the gutter asking for money to eat. He's the one obsessed with money, right? The world is full of greedy paupers. And hypocrites.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I do not know how to stop self harm because I live in fear and my heart is hurt very badly and feel so hated and all I can do it do it because then maybe I would feel loved again.
And also just be me because I need my illness to be seen and freedom to be me and these people are sure to have flaws too..and I have suffered already enough.

I get scared when I think of thr hold these people have on me.
I did actually try to be nice to them not faking it and now I regret the while thing because their negativity choked the life out of me.
I just cannot be as negative

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

There's a difference between being stuck up and contradicting people who treat you like you have no worth, thus being perceived as arrogant. It's the same as the guy lying in the gutter asking for money to eat. He's the one obsessed with money, right? The world is full of greedy paupers. And hypocrites.

You are so right.
And some people are actually forthright and geniune and it is not just asd or sdhd people.

 

[Shevek]

I started out quite fearless. The first time I saw a dust devil, I'd have gotten inside if not driven off by the gravel it was throwing. The fears started in my 30s, when I started to realize how little I know about other people and how they might react. Now, I would also be alarmed at normal life in a big city. My friend in the big city is worried about the wildlife I'm quite secure with.

 

[Levitator]

I don't injure myself by telling the truth. I forgive people, because it's my obligation to do it regardless of my own feelings. I forgive them enough they don't need to be named. I want people to know me, and part of me is what I've been through, otherwise I can't be understood, as if there were any hope of that.