Ever had a problem with horrible women?

[Ella Spell]

That's weird, especially considering "following rules" is a trait of ASD, but not to mention the fact that the rules aren't in any way problematic. I can understand refusing to follow rules if they endorsed some kind of bigotry or discrimination but I've yet to see any forum that does.

 

[Darkkin]

Dragons can be and often are glorious things in the realms of fantasy, yet fairy tales always speak of the death of the dragon, the slaying of the proverbial monster...but who dares to speak up for the dragon, especially those who have garnered enemies merely by existing.

People hate dragons for being wild beasts gifted with flight and fire. Creatures defined by those who fear them without understanding their presence or function in the grand design.

It is easy to pass judgement on people one feels have slighted them, but easy doesn't equate with accurate. It is unique to the preceptions of the individual.

 

[Aspychata]

I have a problem with being female, l struggle as a result of this.

 

[Jonn]

Ever had a problem with horrible women?​

Yep.
I am rather hand-shy these days after being severely mauled because of my "Toxic Masculinity".

Apparently, having self-confidence in my reasoning ability is a negative trait

Go figure.

 

[Misty Avich]

Yep.
I am rather hand-shy these days after being severely mauled because of my "Toxic Masculinity".

Apparently, having self-confidence in my reasoning ability is a negative trait

Go figure.

Oh yes, anyone who believes in themselves and have self-confidence are apparently "narcissists" or "full of themselves". So maybe they just want everyone to be miserable and self-loathing. Lol

 

[Jonn]

Oh yes, anyone who believes in themselves and have self-confidence are apparently "narcissists" or "full of themselves". So maybe they just want everyone to be miserable and self-loathing. Lol

That "ain't" gunna happen with me.
Ppl have been trying to pull me down all my life.
I am no longer a "snowflake".
"Me strong like bull "now, thanks to the bullies out there.

 

[Ella Spell]

That's odd.

The only person who called you a narcissist was yourself.

 

[Wolfnox]

Yep. Gotta tore apart verbally by a few in school. One just hated me for no reason. Even told me as much. The rest for the most part screeched or belittled me if I came near or tried to speak.
Got a lot false accusations thrown at me. Before I was able to understand them. No one knew about the autism I had. So miscommunication was very easy. And girls or guys can be really cruel.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Are you a woman?

There seems to be a lot of focus on physical beauty here. What of people who don't think in those terms, but rather they have "beautiful minds" or "beautiful values" ?

Which women understand "nothing at all"? That seems pretty harsh and to be honest, kind of judgmental.

Who would want a crown? I don't know any women who would want crowns. In fact they'd happily reject that type of stereotype and prefer to have a life instead.

Are you saying the "evil" ones have something to do with wanting your beauty, or thinking they're more beautiful than you? That all sounds like a bunch of 12 year olds at best. To be honest though, most 12 year olds I know don't even think that way.

Who have you been forced to love?

I'd like to respond in more detail to this comment but it's really confusing. If these are people in your "real life" then I suggest cutting contact with them. If it's people online then I suggest reporting the times where they said they were jealous of you or wanted to steal your beauty crown.

I've never seen anyone post that way, or even have that type of personality. Ranting about beauty sounds more like something a troll would say, if they want to bait others into debate for some illogical reason.

I think that is the reason I got away from online is it is toxic to me.
I do not know why I get tormented on my beauty so harshly when I am just trying to exist
I know I have trauma but I could only understand it from the viewpoint I could. That is also why online has been so negative to me.
I am a sensitive woman and sometimes it is nice when other woman actually say you are pretty and beautiful and seem to mean it, has not happened much to me and yes I am unwell but I am still a fairly beautiful women.
That is why you do not do online because it can be really toxic
I mean if you are going through a very serious illness and weight loss and hair loss and have hormonal imbalances and you do not know at all what it is to ever be pampered and have your hair done, nails done or makeup, never been able to wear a beautiful dress or feel like a gorgeous princess since you were very young which feels like a long time now, never been able to get dressed up for your birthday and go out with friends and have a real special party or do something very fun and have them all write lovely cards, then I think you should have some understanding surrounding any insecurities in your life to do with appearance particularly when you had more weight people only fixated on how big you were and made you feel ugly.
And if you have to do a very serious illness alone with no support at all, no one to make you meals or do the washing or dishes or give you a hug or show you empathy, it is hard without feeling wrong to feel insecurities to do with weight loss.

 

[Misty Avich]

That "ain't" gunna happen with me.
Ppl have been trying to pull me down all my life.
I am no longer a "snowflake".
"Me strong like bull "now, thanks to the bullies out there.

That's great.

 

[tree]

How to Deal With Mean Girls in Adulthood

Sometimes mean girls grow up to be mean women. Learn how to deal with mean girls in adulthood and stop bullying.

www.verywellfamily.com

 

[Twilight]

Interesting article. It's not really about gender:

What most people refer to as "mean girl behavior" is really relational aggression, which is a specific type of bullying designed to harm the social relationships and status of an individual. Essentially, people who engage in relational aggression aim to make you look bad to others. Additionally, they may try to intimidate you by threatening to leave the relationship you have with them.

Although it can be referred to as "mean girl" behavior, relational aggression is not restricted to girls and women. Anyone can participate in this type of bullying. The motivation for this behavior can be anything from jealousy to the desire for popularity and power.

The hallmarks of relational aggression include:

• Cyberbullying: Rude comments on your posts, sharing videos or photos of you without your permission, or impersonating you online are all examples of cyberbullying.
• Gossiping: The bully may spread rumors about you to your friends, family, or co-workers.
• Harassment: You may feel cornered by a "mean girl" who goes out of their way to bother you on a regular basis. Are you finding them unavoidable, even if you try to ignore them?
• Intimidation: A bully may even go so far as to threaten to harm you. A less overt form of intimidation may look like a warning for you to stay away from friends over whom they are territorial.
• Ostracizing: Maybe you've found out you've been left out of the group text or not invited to an important meeting. Or you're feeling awkward at a gathering because there is someone trying to purposefully ignore you.
• Verbal insults: A bully will often resort to demeaning remarks about your personality or appearance, or they will employ juvenile behaviors like name-calling.

Sometimes, a mob mentality prevails, and peers will join in the attacks. Other times, friends and co-workers may remain silent bystanders to the bullying. When this happens, it only magnifies the feelings of helplessness, insecurity, and low self-esteem of the bully's target.

I find the term "mean girl" sexist because anyone can engage in this behavior, but for better or worse, the term isn't going anywhere.

 

[Darkkin]

Reading through some of the posts, one has to wonder if the roots of certain issues stem from a difference in preceptions and priorities.

e.g. A fixation on superficial beauty and/or material possessions as a focus, rather than the substance of the character of the individuals, (what rests beneath the shell, traits often hinted at in context clues. This works across the spectrum of traits, the good, the bad, the neutral, and the ugly.)

If one speaks out about the focus of the superficial, it is very easy to label the dissenter(s) as horrible, jealous, or mean. (No one is saying there aren't dreadful people out there because there are, that is a known fact. However, it is a very subjective topic.) It is neither reasonable nor fair, it speaks to an almost childish emotional reaction, (or possibly Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria). (Sally didn't agree with me, so Sally is a horrible person.) If you've ever heard an angry toddler yell, 'Mommy, you're mean,' simply because mom set a reasonable boundary.

The focus on the superficial is a key component. It is what gives one the first instinctive reactions, but as interactions progress that first impression is either reworked or reinforced. (Dislike, neutral, like).

Is it unreasonable to limit interaction with those whose focus is totally at odds with one's own ideas? Being civil is easy enough, but unless there is a reciprocated reason for offering more (family connections, good friends, intellectual discussion, etc...) why should one have to? Basic civility, doesn't require much in terms of effort, yet some folks can preceive social neutral as dislike. e.g. Something as simple as not laughing at a joke that one doesn't find funny.

It is the difference between taking an active role in life and being a spectator. As children, folks, (unfortunately in some cases), don't have that kind of autonomy, as adults it becomes the individual's responsibility.

To pull from children's literature archetypes. Being more Alice, (Alice in Wonderland, Carroll), defy like Ella, (Ella Enchanted, Levine), and getting to know the dragon like Cimerone, (Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Wrede).

Or look to the tale of King Thrushbeard (Brothers Grimm) and the lesson of the Expectation of Exultation, (the innate belief that one is entitled to pandering attention and adulation simply because of one's appearance and/or social position.)

 

[Misty Avich]

I guess this thread is discussing malicious behaviours of women, not implying that only women bully. I seem to have had more bullying behaviour from women than men in my life but that's not to say it's anything to do with gender, it just so happens I was bullied more by women than by men. So in this thread I'm just sharing my experiences of being bullied by women in particular.

 

[Twilight]

The point is that both genders can engage in malicious behaviors in similar ways, so making it about gender is unnecessary in my opinion. I’ve experienced much more bullying from men, but obviously, my experience is too narrow to say anything about gendered behavior overall. It’s just my experience.

I think people are pretty similar, no matter their gender.

 

[Darkkin]

Bullying among females is often very different, much more psychological and emotional, rather than overt physical violence simply because of the differences in socialization between the genders.

As much as society tries for change, these historical stereotypes take time to dismantle. Unconscious generational biases that we often take for granted.

e.g. Impatience at perceived passivity or inaction in a situation. Certain types of privilege inherently extended because of one's exterior, (gender, appearance, skin colour, etc...).

Mean girling, 'mean girls' with only one side of a story isn't fair or right. It is repeating the action one is venting about. The whole pot calling the kettle black. It is a universal human reaction.

 

[CountryGirl]

i mostly get bullied by men but is usually like sexual harassment and all that or they just see me as a dragon and continuously show hatred toward me
women seemingly are more empathetic but that might be cos i dont associate with many women so the few women i do know seem ok except my sister though.she has been jealous of me for a long time and we dont get along .
I do wish i had a brother for that reason as i think we will probably look out for me more like my dad did

 

[Twilight]

Bullying among females is often very different, much more psychological and emotional, rather than overt physical violence simply because of the differences in socialization between the genders.

As much as society tries for change, these historical stereotypes take time to dismantle. Unconscious generational biases that we often take for granted.

e.g. Impatience at perceived passivity or inaction in a situation. Certain types of privilege inherently extended because of one's exterior, (gender, appearance, skin colour, etc...).

I’ve experienced extensive psychological/emotional bullying from males online. While I think the stereotype exists that females are more likely to engage in that sort of behavior, I’m uncertain how true it actually is. Confirmation bias often plays a role in people’s perception of gendered behavior.

All genders are capable of similarly malicious behavior. Although it’s possible that there is a socialized gender component when it comes to bullying, it doesn’t make it any easier for those who’ve experienced similar behavior from another gender.

 

[Darkkin]

I’ve experienced extensive psychological/emotional bullying from males online. While I think the stereotype exists that females are more likely to engage in that sort of behavior, I’m uncertain how true it actually is. Confirmation bias often plays a role in people’s perception of gendered behavior.

All genders are capable of similarly malicious behavior. Although it’s possible that there is a gender component, it doesn’t make it any easier for those who’ve experienced similar behavior from another gender.

Sociopathic traits occur in equal proportion across the human race. And while gender stereotypes did have basis in social expectations, it is a spectrum with frequent crossover of behaviours.

 

[Jonn]

Through subtext, I have been accused of being a transphobe, homophobe, and groomer on public forums. Yikes!
I have had details of personal emails misrepresented and repeated on public forums. Yikes summore!
I have been mocked using things I said in my personal email on public forums. How many "yikes" do I have in me?
What sort of "mean gurls" do that? EEP!

But as I suggested, it is water off the duck's back.
"Me strong like bull."
It reflects poorly on the perps.