Very complicated topic. I don't think it's true that we don't have empathy, I just think that our expression of it is different. Here are my thoughts on the subject:
I find it hard to read body language and I often don't pick up on the social message it conveys; therefore, I don't respond appropiately to the social norm for the situation. People talk, laugh, share emotions, but I don't receive and respond to the signals, I don't share the emotion with them. To someone on the outside looking it, that may look like a lack of empathy - I've been told, for example, that I don't pick up on people's moods. People convey social information through body language, so if our interpretation of this is impaired, it appears that we don't respond in an empathetic way. So I believe there's a close link between the impairment in ability to interpret social cues, facial expression and body language, and our apparent lack of empathy.
If I learn that a friend's father has died, or that they have lost a pet, I don't feel their grief, I don't share the emotion with them. I feel numb. Yet I can understand it, because I have lost a pet and a close relative. I can relate to this. Or otherwise, I've read or seen in a movie that people feel this way. Logically, I can understand why they are feeling this way, even though I don't have the emotion itself. One can say that I possess the cognitive empathy that autistic people are supposed to be lacking. Yet, I don't know how to respond. I don't know what to do and say comfort them, that doesn't come naturally and feels awkward. So perhaps, when they say that we don't have cognitive empathy, what they really mean is that we don't take the appropriate action to show it, and so are considered to be lacking in it? Or do they mean that is is learned through observation and experience, and not intuitively?
If I can't relate to a situation or person's feelings, it is different. If a heroine addict overdoses and ends up in the gutter or dies, a smoker gets lung cancer despite all the warnings, I can't relate to it. I've never had this experience. I can't imagine what they are feeling and my reaction is more likely to be that they got what they deserved rather than one of sympathy. Instead, I become angry that people could act so irresponsibly and try to rationalize why on Earth anyone would want to do such a thing. Some people consider my reaction extreme and may say I have no empathy. Is this really a lack of cognitive empathy?
Or I tell a Justin Bieber fan that I don't like Justin Bieber or his music, or tell my mum that I can't stand the celebrity reality shows that she enjoys, then I'm told that I'm insensitive and have no empathy. Perhaps this is one reason why they say we have no empathy. But is this really a lack of empathy? I don't think so, that's just me giving my opinon.
I once ran over a snake and felt grief and anger. Yet many people here have no qualms about killing snakes: they are just vermin and deserve to die as far as they are concerned. But I felt grief and anger at myself because I felt that it was unjust and the snake had done nothing wrong and didn't deserve to die. I can't bear to watch films and documentaries where animals or people are unfairly mistreated because I can't bear the injustice, I experience intense feelings of anger. Surely, if I had no affective emotion, such things would not affect me? Feeling anger at someone being mistreated is not the same as feeling the emotion of the mistreated person, yet one can say that I'm displaying cognitive empathy, because it shows that I understand how that person is feeling and am reacting against it. But they say that we aren't supposed to have this.
I find it hard to read body language and I often don't pick up on the social message it conveys; therefore, I don't respond appropiately to the social norm for the situation. People talk, laugh, share emotions, but I don't receive and respond to the signals, I don't share the emotion with them. To someone on the outside looking it, that may look like a lack of empathy - I've been told, for example, that I don't pick up on people's moods. People convey social information through body language, so if our interpretation of this is impaired, it appears that we don't respond in an empathetic way. So I believe there's a close link between the impairment in ability to interpret social cues, facial expression and body language, and our apparent lack of empathy.
If I learn that a friend's father has died, or that they have lost a pet, I don't feel their grief, I don't share the emotion with them. I feel numb. Yet I can understand it, because I have lost a pet and a close relative. I can relate to this. Or otherwise, I've read or seen in a movie that people feel this way. Logically, I can understand why they are feeling this way, even though I don't have the emotion itself. One can say that I possess the cognitive empathy that autistic people are supposed to be lacking. Yet, I don't know how to respond. I don't know what to do and say comfort them, that doesn't come naturally and feels awkward. So perhaps, when they say that we don't have cognitive empathy, what they really mean is that we don't take the appropriate action to show it, and so are considered to be lacking in it? Or do they mean that is is learned through observation and experience, and not intuitively?
If I can't relate to a situation or person's feelings, it is different. If a heroine addict overdoses and ends up in the gutter or dies, a smoker gets lung cancer despite all the warnings, I can't relate to it. I've never had this experience. I can't imagine what they are feeling and my reaction is more likely to be that they got what they deserved rather than one of sympathy. Instead, I become angry that people could act so irresponsibly and try to rationalize why on Earth anyone would want to do such a thing. Some people consider my reaction extreme and may say I have no empathy. Is this really a lack of cognitive empathy?
Or I tell a Justin Bieber fan that I don't like Justin Bieber or his music, or tell my mum that I can't stand the celebrity reality shows that she enjoys, then I'm told that I'm insensitive and have no empathy. Perhaps this is one reason why they say we have no empathy. But is this really a lack of empathy? I don't think so, that's just me giving my opinon.
I once ran over a snake and felt grief and anger. Yet many people here have no qualms about killing snakes: they are just vermin and deserve to die as far as they are concerned. But I felt grief and anger at myself because I felt that it was unjust and the snake had done nothing wrong and didn't deserve to die. I can't bear to watch films and documentaries where animals or people are unfairly mistreated because I can't bear the injustice, I experience intense feelings of anger. Surely, if I had no affective emotion, such things would not affect me? Feeling anger at someone being mistreated is not the same as feeling the emotion of the mistreated person, yet one can say that I'm displaying cognitive empathy, because it shows that I understand how that person is feeling and am reacting against it. But they say that we aren't supposed to have this.
