Do You Have Empathy?

[Tia Maria]

A lack of empathy, is only ONE characteristic of sociopathy, not so much psychopathy. A true sociopath not only lacks empathy but is a shrewd actor and master manipulator. The sociopath is fully aware of having these traits and derives extreme pleasure from them. A sociopath is purposefully patient, cold, and calculating. I've had the benefit of a few college classes in criminology and deviant behavior. Also, the true sociopath would find morals and scrupulous behavior at best, humorous, and at worst, rage producing. It's amazing how often psychopathy and sociopathy are easily confused.

The psychopath truly cannot determine right from wrong. The sociopath is fully aware that his actions would not be condoned by society at large: he just simply does not care,

Very informative & well written. IMO being incapable of "feeling" empathy for others could create issues or problems in forming deep bonds of friendship & finding a life (love) partner - well I guess at least with NT's - but that does not make someone unlikable or a "bad" person.

Someone who is an actual sociopath is a very toxic & dangerous individual. Same with a psychopath. Best to stay away from such people & keep them out of your life.

To me, people who try to manipulate others are 'bad news' as well as straight-out unlikable. Striving to form & maintain honest, & functionally healthy interactions & relationships is the best way to go IMO whether someone is NT or Aspie.

 

[Tia Maria]

I agree we just don't show it, as much, i think we are more empathic,like you said. I read a lot of biographies and true stories and i really feel for these people who I don't even know,

Also when i hear about death and bombings or even child abuse, i don't agree with it but at the same time i don't understand the hysterical reactions about it. On the other hand i can't stand animal abuse of any kind and it really upsets me to see how china treat animals and how chicks are treated in the chicken and egg industries.

Me too, animal abuse upsets & sickens me SO MUCH.

 

[Tia Maria]

This makes sense to me, certainly in the way I feel/react and from the feedback I get from NTs.

Sometimes I think my ability to empathise is selective depending upon the situation and how close to my personal zone it it.

Love this: Do not get confused between my personality and my attitude. My personality is caused by who I am, whereas my attitude is caused by who you are. (Thumbs up.)

 

[deema]

Here is what so many folks dont understand. For ME, and I imagine for many aspies, I have an INSANE amount, WAY more than average people. My empathy is overwhelming, at times. And it is due to that that I force myself to suppress it, as often as I can, because that much emotion can wreak havoc on a strictly logic based/driven brain/mindset.

Not wanting to feel empathy is very different from not having any

 

[Robby]

I think I have a ton of empathy for people I feel for. Even people I don't know, but if someone does me wrong or hurts my feelings or something that goes out the window. For me Im very empathetic it's just I can't always show it I'm not an overly touchy feely person but inside I'm very sympathetic and feel the pain of strangers even if I don't know them. I'm also much more empathetic to animals than people largely. It's just easier for me to connect to animals maybe because I know they're not going to judge me and so I feel free around them. Always have. I love pets, and zoo animals and any kind of animal really. I even throw ladybugs outside rather than kill them if I find them in the house or something. But people are a different ballgame it's way harder for me to be around and feel comfortable around them.

 

[Greg]

I do lack empathy for others. There are times that I can show empathy toward others but in a lot of cases I just don't.

 

[bonnie79]

Greg it's exactly the same with my partner. Reading your post is like your talking about him. He is a kind human being. And a good man , and I know that he doesn't mean not to be empathetic .... he just can't.

 

[Greg]

Greg it's exactly the same with my partner. Reading your post is like your talking about him. He is a kind human being. And a good man , and I know that he doesn't mean not to be empathetic .... he just can't.

Bonnie,
I find that for me there are times with my wife that when we are talking she gets the blunt of my inability to show empathy. The most times it really has an impact is when we are talking about personal things. Then I just defensive and we end up in a huge fight because I just don't care how anyone feels. Causes huge problems.

 

[bonnie79]

I can imagine. Sometimes we argue to. And I feel so guilty if we do fall out ..... because I know full well he can't help it. Which is why I have made the decision to join this family. Because I need to create an understanding and gain knowledge. But also I guess I need to vent .... if that's the right thing to say ? It's just something that I guess we just have to try and accept. If your wife can be understanding of your inability with empathy ... then she will know that this isn't about her. As for your defensiveness. ..... I have to deal with that to. But I love him. And I want to be able to deal with what ever isms and struggles he presents. I can imagine that you love your wife more than anything in the universe. ..... so please know that these times are also experienced in other couples where there is aspergers. My partner also has adhd , add, dyslexia and dysbraxia amongst many more .

 

[Greg]

I think I agree with you where we all need a place to vent. I do love my wife more than anything and wish we didn't have the struggles that we do. It sounds like you SO has a lot of things going on.

 

[bonnie79]

Well maybe we can help each other in the future. Maybe the fact that we have all these things to battle ...... also shows us that we are strong and that love can conquer the isms and misunderstanding. Keep in touch Greg .

 

[Greg]

Will do it definitely helps to find others who are suffering with the same things. Keep in touch too.

 

[bonnie79]

Absolutely. Thank you for replying to .

 

[deema]

I do lack empathy for others. There are times that I can show empathy toward others but in a lot of cases I just don't.

Showing and having are two different things, though, just sayin.

 

[Rhymer]

I dont have much empathy for the general population. They all tend to be a nuisance or get in my way.
I've always had more of an ifinity with animals.

 

[HisShadowX]

I don't know, I use logic when it comes to empathy. I always profile them and compare their actions to other people.

 

[SingaSong]

I think I do feel sympathy and some empathy, but I have no idea how to express it properly so I don't show it at all. Ive tried to express things in the past and got it wrong and made the other person feel worse so now I don't try. I also maybe don't ask other people about their lives so don't find out about something they are upset about. My mother in particular expresses emotion and wants touch. I haven't learnt how to "spontaneously" express empathy and might move away from a cuddle/touch sometimes.

 

[HisShadowX]

I think I do feel sympathy and some empathy, but I have no idea how to express it properly so I don't show it at all. Ive tried to express things in the past and got it wrong and made the other person feel worse so now I don't try. I also maybe don't ask other people about their lives so don't find out about something they are upset about. My mother in particular expresses emotion and wants touch. I haven't learnt how to "spontaneously" express empathy and might move away from a cuddle/touch sometimes.

I understand you. For example after a big fight for example with a mate I would instantly want a hug as a peace offering and I guess they need time to process all the things I don't know

 

[Etzelaire]

Total lack of empathy because I usually don't care about other people's stuff.

 

[StephF]

I can show empathy but I have a very low tolerance for idiots which can often make seem like I don't care.