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Display of trust?

clg114 said:
That sounds like something that I would do and have done. Until about ten years ago, I never even locked the house. My problem is that I want to trust everyone. If it was not for my wife, I would get taken advantage of... a lot!

Is it a display of trust? For me it would just be SOP. For most people, yes, it would be a display of trust.
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I can't leave doors unlocked, even when I'm in the house. I'm quite paranoid.
 
ksheehan88 said:
He's very anal, everything in exactly the right place. He knows when I have moved a pen on his table or used the kettle because its not put back exactly right
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Exactly, lol. And thus very deliberate about most everything he does. Right? ;)
 
Judge said:
Exactly. It's a courtesy I never extended to a friend. Only to a lover or a rare relative I knew very well.
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My brother in law has a key to our house AND IT DOES MY HEAD IN. We gave him a key years ago so that he could let himself in to use our shower when the one at his parents (he lives at home) was being replaced, because he worked weird hours and there wouldn't always be someone in. He was then supposed to give the key to his parents so that there was always a spare key 5 minutes away if we needed it. He proceeded to keep it on his keys and now whenever we invite him over, he'll unlock the door and let himself in. We've told him numerous times not to do this and to give the key to his parents.

My best friend lives at home, and I've known her about 20 years. I've spent an inordinate amount of time at her house, and her Mum told me many years ago to stop knocking the door and just let myself in (the door isn't locked if there's people in). It took me months to get used to this, but now I don't even think about it. The difference is that we've never said to my brother in law or anyone else that they have permission to just let themselves in, especially if the door is bloody locked.
 
xudo said:
My brother in law has a key to our house AND IT DOES MY HEAD IN. We gave him a key years ago so that he could let himself in to use our shower when the one at his parents (he lives at home) was being replaced, because he worked weird hours and there wouldn't always be someone in. He was then supposed to give the key to his parents so that there was always a spare key 5 minutes away if we needed it. He proceeded to keep it on his keys and now whenever we invite him over, he'll unlock the door and let himself in. We've told him numerous times not to do this and to give the key to his parents.

My best friend lives at home, and I've known her about 20 years. I've spent an inordinate amount of time at her house, and her Mum told me many years ago to stop knocking the door and just let myself in (the door isn't locked if there's people in). It took me months to get used to this, but now I don't even think about it. The difference is that we've never said to my brother in law or anyone else that they have permission to just let themselves in, especially if the door is bloody locked.
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Changing locks is admittedly an expensive proposition, but it always sends a clear message.
 
ksheehan88 said:
I think you mean perhaps this is his way of saying, "I LIKE YOU like you" ? :flushed:
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Having been on the receiving end of such a thing, I assure you that seduction comes in many forms. ;)


Admittedly sometimes Hollywood does get close to the truth. :p

One other detail. I take it this is the friend you mentioned in another post that you're in love with. Right? Patterns...Aspies....this isn't that complicated.
 
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i dont even have a key to my apartment as such,all of my keys including my motability car are kept by support staff and i have to trust them when go away from the facility to not go in my flat and nosy around which i have a major paranoia issue with.
on my keys is one to my dads house i used to knock everytime before i came in with the key but he told me theres no need so we just let ourselves in,hes fine with it.

i think your friend giving you a key is a huge sign of progress in your friendship but just be careful of anything going missing in his house and you getting the blame for it if he suffers from paranoia,ive blamed many a staff for stealing something of mine when it turns out theyve just moved the object.
 
toothless said:
i dont even have a key to my apartment as such,all of my keys including my motability car are kept by support staff and i have to trust them when go away from the facility to not go in my flat and nosy around which i have a major paranoia issue with.
on my keys is one to my dads house i used to knock everytime before i came in with the key but he told me theres no need so we just let ourselves in,hes fine with it.

i think your friend giving you a key is a huge sign of progress in your friendship but just be careful of anything going missing in his house and you getting the blame for it if he suffers from paranoia,ive blamed many a staff for stealing something of mine when it turns out theyve just moved the object.
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Yeah that did worry me somewhat to begin with that when he allows others in the flat something may go missing and I may get blamed. But if that happened I would just immediately hand the keys back, as even if he decided to let it go, there would always be that suspicion and I wouldn't like to think someone had that hanging over them about me. Tbh, if he thought I stole from him, he would take them back and probably never speak to me again anyway.
 
ksheehan88 said:
or used the kettle because its not put back exactly right
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You mean tilted and not put down right like this? Lol

IMG_0620.JPG


@xudo The Americans wouldn't know what I'm talking about. :tearsofjoy:
 
Kirsty said:
You mean tilted and not put down right like this? Lol

View attachment 33925

@xudo The Americans wouldn't know what I'm talking about. :tearsofjoy:
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Lol, no, that would drive me nuts too!!

To explain...

He is right handed, so the kettle needs to be put down so the handle is to the right.

I am also right handed, but lift the kettle with my left hand and thus its put down facing left.

Most people wouldn't think of or notice it, but it drives him insane if I do this... It can't be off centre either, it has to be perfectly straight. :rolleyes:

I have learnt to ensure its the right way lol.
 
ksheehan88 said:
My friend gave me a set of keys to their flat and just said, "Its so you can let yourself in if I'm not here when you arrive or something".

Is this a display of trust? Are they telling me in a non verbal, symbolic way that I am a trustworthy and important person?
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Yes id say there is certainly a great deal of trust there.....!
 
Just my opinion. You will never know the answer, until you inquire further. Do not assume a,b,c, or d, the most logical answers. It could be e, or even z, something you and nobody else ever thought of. But, if you ask further, they could take offense, and it could affect the friendship.

I would politely say 'thank you for the kind gesture, but I would feel bad about going into someone's home when they were not there, even the home of one who is a great friend. I would want to call, text, or message if in need of assistance earlier, or want to be prompt at meeting the precise time. I would feel bad otherwise.' That's just my advice though.
 
Fridgemagnetman said:
Most definitely, I would say.

But watch out for the : 'I'm expecting a delivery today and can't make it back. Will it be okay if you just let yourself in and wait all day in the house for me? '

:)
I'm sure it's a good friend and they wouldn't do that!
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"I'm going out of town, agaaaaain. You know, I'm very busy. Anyhow, will you be a doll and watch my cats!? I'll pay you in cookies!"
::doesn't really wait for an answer::
"Thanks!"
 
I would definitely say that it's a sign that they trust you.

I wouldn't feel comfortable going into someones home when they're not there; the whole "make yourself at home" thing, and would they expect your keys if the situation was reversed?
 
They're obviously trusting you not to steal anything, bring around strange people, or mess up the place so yay for that! :3 Champion!
 
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