Dealing with loneliness.

[Rich Gray]

Try going to a local game shop and play Dungeons and Dragons. Try a Star Wars Role-Playing Game, war game, and/or board game! There are some really nice ones out right now.

[1] Controlled time-allotted social interaction (with rules)
[2] Has problem solving and tactics
[3] Uses your imagination

You may be able to connect with people this way.

 

[Ambi]

Star Wars has been in my life since I was four years old, I can practically quote the movies and I've almost played every single one of the video games. I don't even want to get started on my biases and how much merchandise I have. *cough* a lot *cough*

Apparently I can't be thankful for it because it's not something that is "essential or truly matters in the grand scheme of life." but to me, it's pretty important.

Just like my music, Star Wars has gotten me through a lot of hard times. I don't mean to keep hopping on the bully train here, but that was something else they targeted, I was known as "the Star Wars freak." and people would say "Why don't you just go back to your Sandcrawler and get lost."

That bothered me obviously, but for some reason, no amount of bullying ever broke my love for it, I have a bond with this hobby that I doubt I'll ever have with a human.

I am glad you are here on this forum. I think there are many, many people here who can relate to your struggles and the way you relate to special interests like Star Wars and music. I think we relate to things like that much more strongly, vividly, and emotionally than others do.

 

[Thursday]

Hi Marcus.

In the real world, my mind is constantly ablaze with thoughts like "What does that person think of me?" or "What bully will I run into today?"

I have these urges too. For me, it stems from my inherent distrust of the world...at times, the world seems shallow and it just doesn't jive with my set of values. However, I'm trying to look at it from another perspective. If I value these traits of mine and believe wholeheartedly that they are positive, then I'll treasure them instead and find people who have a similar outlook. It's not healthy to let go of one's best traits just to fit in, anyway.

So, like Chance said, don't forget your good points. If it's your love for Star Wars, then turn your passion into something fruitful and don't mind what other people think of that. The important thing is, you don't forget to be kind to yourself.

As for the lonely part...I can say I feel less lonely nowadays just by being a part of AC. Although I haven't been here for a long time, I can say that the people here are great. I haven't come across any bullies at all, so I hope you can try to relax here. Who knows, maybe you'll feel less lonely here too.

 

[Blue]

I'm lonely too. I got a cat and that helps but it's not the same as people. I've tried all kinds of meetups but never connected with anyone and most for people my age are at noisy bars.

 

[Gracey]

I'm lonely too. I got a cat and that helps but it's not the same as people. I've tried all kinds of meetups but never connected with anyone and most for people my age are at noisy bars.

This is why I like it here The only noise is under my control and yet I can still talk/write to other people. Join in a conversation at my own pace. Just read the posts if I don't have much to say.

 

[Marcus]

I've tried all kinds of meetups but never connected with anyone and most for people my age are at noisy bars.

Meetups are the worst for me, ugh.

Talk about social nightmare.

Socializing online is all I can usually muster, of course I get all kinds of flak for it though. "Shouldn't you go out and socialize with friends instead of staying inside all day?"

Ignorance.

 

[Lorelaine]

Hi Marcus,


I'm very new to this community (and to the discovery of Asperger's in myself in general), but it's nice to know there are others who have experienced and currently experience this too.

My loneliness isn't something I ever share with my husband, sheerly because of my fear of inadvertently hurting him. Sometimes for me, the feeling comes and goes and often I feel completely fulfilled for some time, while other times I feel like parking my car on the side of the road and just wandering away into the wilderness. It seemed to be less severe once I met my husband and I'm able to tolerate it the majority of the time.

I was bullied as well; all the way through grade school until high school graduation. I even encountered some severe bullying in college, but didn't tolerate their behaviour and nearly got some peers expelled for their mischief. I was mostly teased for my looks (clothes, hair, etc). I am now considered 'attractive' now because I stay fit, learned how to style myself, and keep in-fashion. Regardless, I still feel empty as I did when I was younger. I still sometimes feel like that same 13 year-old girl with the flooded pants that were always too big and who was tormented by a group of girls that pretended to be my friends for a good laugh. The sad part was, the same group of girls started to tease another girl with a more severe autism than my own and only when I saw from a distance how they treated her, I realized what they were doing to me.

Not sure what my point is, except that you are not alone in your experiences. I guess I'm trying to empathize as a form of consolation.

Edit:
Oh yes! I forgot to mention that I have pets. They definitely help me! My cats are my family and friends, and honestly so much easier to tolerate than people. Much less unpredictable, unwaveringly loyal, and altruistic. Not to mention when I'm having episodes (anxiety attacks or breakdowns), they're great about letting me hold them close in bed. I grew up with dogs and wanted a service-trained dog, but we don't have the room in our current place. Dogs are wonderful too! Though, there's nothing like holding a purring cat; the most relaxing sound in the world! It's wonderful because they almost always only purr when happy and it's fantastic having something alive expressing happiness just by being with you. I love animals I suppose more than others, which is probably why my profession is in veterinary medicine ahaha.