DogwoodTree
Still here...
If you're able to carry on conversations with people, how do you do it? Is it a lot of hard work, or does it come easily for you?
I've studied people so much over the years...I have algorithms...rules...patterns...that I can follow to emulate functional conversation. It's a lot of work, kind of like what doing algebra would be for most people. But it passes well enough. I have to continually work at improving my algorithms, because I tend to push one or two aspects too hard (like asking too many questions), so then it doesn't feel natural to other people. Plus, I learned some very unhealthy relational patterns from my family, so I'm having to reprogram all of those algorithms, too.
This is all exhausting. Plus, I don't really feel connected to people through these kinds of conversations, and yet, it's the best way to keep from tiring people out from interacting with me.
Lately, I've been experimenting a little with a different approach. Instead of aiming for "connection," I'm trying to be "present" in the conversation in a way that somehow, on some level, accurately reflects who I am. Maybe it's not completely fluid or comfortable or intuitive, but it's at least more genuine...a little. I'm still practicing and trying to figure it out.
How do you handle conversations? What's your approach or strategy, if you have one?
I've studied people so much over the years...I have algorithms...rules...patterns...that I can follow to emulate functional conversation. It's a lot of work, kind of like what doing algebra would be for most people. But it passes well enough. I have to continually work at improving my algorithms, because I tend to push one or two aspects too hard (like asking too many questions), so then it doesn't feel natural to other people. Plus, I learned some very unhealthy relational patterns from my family, so I'm having to reprogram all of those algorithms, too.
This is all exhausting. Plus, I don't really feel connected to people through these kinds of conversations, and yet, it's the best way to keep from tiring people out from interacting with me.
Lately, I've been experimenting a little with a different approach. Instead of aiming for "connection," I'm trying to be "present" in the conversation in a way that somehow, on some level, accurately reflects who I am. Maybe it's not completely fluid or comfortable or intuitive, but it's at least more genuine...a little. I'm still practicing and trying to figure it out.
How do you handle conversations? What's your approach or strategy, if you have one?