Can't Stand Being Supervised?

[Galaxy Freeze]

Man, I've been posting a lot lately. Oh well, it feels good to be curious and social. Anyway, do any of y'all out there hate being supervised or watched by someone, no matter what you're doing?

I can't stand it. While, yes, I am 16 and still live with my parents, but my mom still treats me like a baby. She always wants to watch me put makeup on, wash my face, etc. She's even wanted to HELP ME WASH MY HAIR IN THE SHOWER. No joke. She did that when I was, like, 6 years old. She still wants to now. I've told her to back off and it works about half the time, but I think she's got severe Empty Nest Syndrome, that she still wants to treat me like a baby because I'll be the second and last kid out of the house (my sister is already gone). It really irritates me, at least my dad is okay though. Can't complain about him.

Not just my mom, but in general I hate it when people (usually family members) watch me do things, like writing or just fooling around on the computer. I don't really mind if they watch me play a video game or draw though... strange. I just get so angry when I know someone's peering over my shoulder at the computer, or watching me brush my hair or some stupid crap (like Mom), it makes me feel nervous and uncomfortable, and I feel they will start criticizing me any minute. I know my mom likes to critique how my face and hair look, if you've read some of my other posts, you'd know all about that.

So how about you guys? Do you feel this way? If so, in what kind of situations and who do they involve?

 

[King_Oni]

I can't really deal with someone watching what I'm doing in most cases. And even less when people are spectating and then asking me questions like "what's that? and "why are you watching that?" (or any other comments that make it look like I have to justify what I'm doing).

If I'm doing something where people can actually learn something, I don't mind it as much. I don't really mind if people watch what I'm doing when painting, since I guess they're looking to learn something from what I'm doing. But I guess it's not as much watching me, as they are watching "someone" painting. And similarly, I've played videogames where my girlfriend just spectated (and she doesn't mind doing so). It feels more like she's watching the game instead of watching me.

Luckily my parents value privacy in the sense that they wont barge in my room and I can do pretty much what I want without them being nosy. And that wasn't the case when I was about your age (although; I only played games on my computer, since 14 years ago I didn't have an internet connection).

I remember having issues at work with it as well. I used to have this supervisor who marched around the workfloor with his arms behind his back like he was some kind of general. Well.. he came from the army, so I guess that's where he got that attitude, lol. So anyway; he often stood still at certain "hotspots" to overview employees working. I always felt being watched... and even more so, since it also meant that I was open for being judged for not doing a good job. Especially being judged, while to some extent it's not only "my fault" when stuff went wrong. Working at a place with a small group and no one caring what went on (and most of them had long term contracts, thus couldn't be fired) and me being a temp made me act even more like I was on thin ice.

I somehow feel that because I was raised with a lot of privacy, and as such not parents asking me stuff all the time and having this attitude of "when something is wrong, just tell us", it makes someone watching what you are doing and possible judging you on it a lot more difficult. I guess that's also a reason why I try to keep in my room instead of doing stuff elsewhere in the house. Though with summerheat, I might take some activities to the garden... I'll just try to not care for any possible comments and questions and just keep to myself there.

 

[nonsensical]

My personal privacy has always been highly valued to me. I can't stand having people watching over me while I work on things. It makes me feel anxious and rushed. Being supervised isn't so bad if the supervisor is more knowledgeable than myself and isn't being hypercritical of all my actions. It's only when you already know how to do something and yet another person still thinks you need to be helped that I start to become annoyed.

 

[Perry Holia Kerrith]

While I generally don't mind being supervised, whenever I am attempting to learn something new, I want to learn as much about it on my own as possible before someone with experience performing whatever tasks involved views my work. That way there will be fewer mistakes, and a decreased possibility of ridicule. Or, what most people refer to as "Constructive Criticism" (which I sometimes don't take very well).

 

[Aalo]

Mostly I don't get bothered if people come and go near me until they start asking or need some other extra attention. Being questioned or even criticised normally isn't a problem but something I value and welcome, I can't react to something like that in hectic situations. Let's say that I want to cook or drive a car without being constantly advised. I can still hold a discussion while doing these. Today this applies on anything I'm not quite expert on. It's why I don't like studying in group, which could otherwise probably be a good idea to do.

 

[Neat Hedgehog]

Used to happen at work more when one of our "managers" was still here. No one liked her, she would constantly try to stand behind people and watch what they were doing to "make sure they were working." Of course, she didn't know how to do anything that we were doing, yet would always try to point out what we were doing wrong.

I am generally fairly happy at work now, because they give me projects where no one even has an idea of how it's supposed to work so they can't micromanage it even if they want to. I get the "Here's a goal, we have no clue how to get there. Get there. It's done when you say it's done." projects now.

It's one thing if you actually need someone to tell you what to do because you've never done it before, like whenever me and my father work on my car he tells me what I need to do next. It's another to be hired for a job, then assumed to apparently be incompetent and have someone hovering over you all the time to "make sure you're doing it right." If you didn't think I could do it, then why did you hire me? Same for general, day-to-day stuff; I think everybody deserves the assumption that they are at least somewhat capable of maintaining autonomy.

 

[Craig]

I honestly don't mind people watching me (in fact I kind of like the attention) though I have to know why they're watching me and/or keep glancing over at me. The not knowing quickly eats away at my psyche and makes me physically quiver with excitement, which ultimately pushes me to confront the observer and press them for information, whether they be friend or stranger.

 

[WildCat]

I can't stand it, unless it's within reason of course. If my performance at work is average or better, and I and my head/supervisor knows this, it does tend to piss me off quite a bit since the hidden message is quite clear. Stepping foot into something new, well, you really can't argue much with your superior(s) until you've gotten yourself waist deep in the water or walked in their shoes in the past - not that I have, of course, but I've seen people defy authority before in a situation like that and the end result is usually never pretty.

I'm talking about work here and not personal activities - when it comes to that, I usually don't mind unless someone decides to bombard me with pointless questions or information, in which case I'll draw the line and ask to be left to my own devices.

 

[Dickpearson]

Hi there.
I'm an aspie named Dick Pearson
I also suffer from mild learning disability and mental illness called obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) which is very dibilitating.
No one watches over me and I live on my own. Nobody tells me what to do. I eat and sleep when i want to, toilet when I want to an come and go as i please etc.
I was victim to the old system and will share my life story later on. I'm also a christian and have loads of interests galore.
from Dick Pearson

 

[Dickpearson]

I hate it when people dont treat me the way i want to be treated.
I hate it when society discriminates again AS and other disabilities.
Dick

 

[umbrellabeach]

I HATE being watched. I always feel like people are judging me. At my old job, some customers would come up beside me and just stare as I bagged. It always made me so nervous and I could barely think straight to figure out which grocery went in which bag.

 

[Ylva]

I find that NTs stare an awful lot for being so bothered about it from Aspies. Mostly we don't even stare at people, just "at" the air…

As for dealing with my people problems, I like to write it out. I am less good at suggesting alternatives than a certain friend of mine, though, so normally I'll present my conclusion (not the problem) to him.

 

[Sparticus]

I can't stand being Supervised. My parents, for better or worse, let us run wild in the streets/parks. Though my father "recommended" every
Summer for a few years we join a "Library club" and read as many books as possible. In the beginning of 8th grade my father grounded my two brothers and me for most of the year. After school was out we had to go straight home. By the end of that year I develeped a temporary stutter. When we finally were allowed to play outside at the end of the year, we were in a hurry to make up for it...

But it was at work that I REALLY hated being supervised. Especially the tools watching your every move...I hate being micro-managed, talked down to, given false sales/company talks...all the wonderful Catch 22 type stuff in the fantastic fun filled world of work! :-0

 

[. . .]

Can't stand it.

But . . . does anyone like it?

 

[Peace]

I hate it too. It is Very distracting!

 

[Ylva]

Can anyone else feel that they are being watched? This is what often throws me with NTs and staring; why can't they know that I'm not looking at them, if that feeling is absent? It is almost like being touched. It is usually obvious enough if someone is just woolgathering with their eyes open. It is something else entirely if their gaze zones in on you.

 

[Explosition_Rooster]

I'm not one for being 'managed', but I can understand the reasons as to why I need to be 'managed'; I'm not exactly a responible person with anything important, which means that I need some controls in order to prevent me from making horrible decisions in my life. Doesn't make it taste any better and it sometime's makes me angry.

As for enjoying it, I just can't. I'm not sure if anyone else can relate, but being observed just brings up bad feelings about it.

 

[Jimbo]

This is the reason I have chosen most of my different jobs over the years. I like to be turned loose on my own to do the job. I have mostly done service tech jobs where I was given a van and a stack of work orders and told to go get it. I don't work well with others. For the last 10 years I have run my own carpet cleaning business, so the only one watching me is the occasional nosy customer.

 

[Warwick C]

I too do not like to be watched.

On a news bulliten recently there was a story about a similar subject. It was found that it date back to the caveman reactions, the eyes watching you wanting to eat you.

 

[grapesicles]

I like that quite a few of you have similar feelings! I hate being watched when I'm doing things at home, like cooking or when I'm doing something on the computer, especially when I know they'll interrupt me and tell me I'm doing it "wrong". If someone's watching me and I don't like it, I'll usually stop for a few seconds stare at them and ask "can I help you?" and they usually get the message!

If men in public continuously stare at me and I feel uncomfortable I'll usually keep staring back intently until they leave me alone. It really creeps them out.