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Are these experiences common to aspies?

marcadam

marcadam

Active Member
I would really appreciate people's feed back, I want to know if the following are common experiences for aspies or is it just me?

1. People tend to confuse my lack of participation in small talk, and conversation in general with low intelligence. The same people also get terribly upset when I finally can't take anymore and I put them in their place.
2. Quite often when I try and put my point of view across i.e. at work, the person I'm talking with is dismissive of what I'm saying, usually taking the role of devil's advocate.

Are these two things common to aspies, or am I just being paranoid?

Thanks in advance.
 
I'm very sociable, which is unusual for an Aspie, I talk CONSTANTLY to EVERYONE! I've had people be dismissive, but it's usually family. Sometimes it's the people who are the closest to you that can get to you the most. You gotta love 'em though!
 
i don't feel number 1 has ever happened to me, if i am comfortable with a group of people and know them well then ill talk as much as anyone (though admittedly i will still feel awkward and nervous and struggle, it just wont impair me from communicating in my own aspie way), with people i don't know very well then yes i will not really participate fully in conversation but i don't think people associate this with low intelligence in fact in my experience much the opposite, people often see me as more intelligent than i am partially down to me being quite and holding my own counsel.

i can relate to 2 however as i often feel i need to play devils advocate but that's probably not an aspie thing and more because i enjoy logical debate and i like to help refine peoples arguments by debating with them even if i actually agree with them in the first place.
 
I experience those same things. People are also condescending to me because I'm quiet. Sometimes they even talk about me in front of me like I'm not there.
 
I don't join in conversations very much, either, but I don't think that anyone thinks I'm unintelligent, just very shy and introverted. People know that I only join in when I have something to say.
 
The first one is familiar, although I tend to think that they think that I'm either a boring person for not joining in generally (I may in fact be a boring person, the jury's still out on this one), or more typically people think I'm aloof, snobby, judgemental or whatever, because I don't have much to contribute so they think I'm being dismissive of them. This isn't true, i just don't have anything to say or can't easily relate to their likes and dislikes.

As for the second, I don't know. If you have a quiet, unassertive way about you (as I have) people sometimes dismiss what you're saying based purely on the way you say it. Then you'll get some overly confident person saying something similar but in a brash and/or entertaining manner, and everyone agrees.

As for playing devil's advocate. I'm guilty of this. In any discussion I often find myself taking the opposite view just to undermine people's certainty in things. I guess I find certainty to be subconsciously offensive. Or maybe I just enjoy being annoying. Actually I think it's because arguing/discussing is the one type of 'social' chat that I'm good at so I go all-out on it!
 
This is definitely ALWAYS the case with me. I thought maybe it had to do with me looking more like a very young teen than somebody in their 20s. It's probably a mixture of both. That's why I find talking to anybody absolutely pointless. Nobody ever takes me seriously.
 
I've experienced number one a lot. I've been described as 'simple' too many times. Its annoying because I am intelligent. But I think my demeanour, the fact I look a lot younger than my age, facial assymetry and different muscle tone between each side of my face and either struggling to make eye contact or making too much eye contact I think this gives some people the impression I have some kind of learning difficulty. I've noticed number two as well, but like to think I just get involved in conversations with people who have to be right as opposed to them playing devils advocate in order to oppose me specifically.
 
I get devil's advocate all the time! It's so bad sometime that I actually get nervous when people start agreeing with me. "Wait, this isn't how it usually happens. What does it mean???"
 
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Mr. Cat said:
This is definitely ALWAYS the case with me. I thought maybe it had to do with me looking more like a very young teen than somebody in their 20s. It's probably a mixture of both. That's why I find talking to anybody absolutely pointless. Nobody ever takes me seriously.
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Yeah! bad week for me on that one!:(
 
As an Aspie, my capacity of convincing people I'm right or what I say is interesting or deserves attention is very low. To the people I don't care about, it's no problem, they'll stay ignorant and/or mediocre and it's their problem.
To the people I love, it's very different. Every time I get a new idea or new 'thing' i want to invest myself in, they think I'm crazy and let me know about it.
I never can expect any support. My last thing is the Dave Ramsey Show and his Baby Steps. I want to do what he talks about. I had to get single again, it was impossible otherwise, my gf thought i was dreaming with eyes wide open and didn't want to sacrifice anything anyway.
 
In general I only talk to people about topics that interest me. I must be a bad person because I often talk down to NT's because I feel a lot of them are of low intelligence.

I don't mean to be an as**ole , I just find it difficult to deal with some people.
 
StephF said:
In general I only talk to people about topics that interest me. I must be a bad person because I often talk down to NT's because I feel a lot of them are of low intelligence.

I don't mean to be an as**ole , I just find it difficult to deal with some people.
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Same....it just happens even when I try to be nice....the intellectual gap is too big.
 
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