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Am l cold and heartless?

thejuice said:
I prefer logic to emotions but it has bit me in the behind more than once. I'm going on an autistic tangent but: if I think there's no rational reason for someone to get upset I will post what I think even if somewhere in the back of my mind I think maybe someone might get upset. I've had to tweak my decision making to be more intuitive than rational as that seems to be the dominant way people react, even in the autistic community. Which is a shame for me personally as I get frustrated at things that go unsaid.
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I know what you mean. I've often posted things with the instinctive knowledge in the back of my mind that it's best left unsaid, but the urge was too powerful to resist and I also just hoped nobody would get offended.
It's like when I saw a political thread that I had a very strong opinion about, and being so it was a discussion thread I thought there'd be no harm in throwing in my view or experience. But, alas, there was. Whoops.
Then the next time I gave in to impulse, I thought "I'm not going to post anything...ohhh what the hell, I have to let this out!" *Tap, tap, tap away at the keyboard, doesn't proofread, submits, gets on with whatever I was doing before I checked the site, come back to it a bit later, suddenly finds out I have made enemies and the whole thread has become a flame war*
Rinse and repeat, except my intentions were always down to impulse and obsessing over political matters, not to sit and laugh at people getting offended and having no remorse or guilt.
 
@Misty Avich , l think it's perfectly fine to state what you are thinking. Different opinions create openings for us to consider other thought processes. Sometimes the things we think shouldn't be expressed are actually what need to be discussed. So l totally welcome your posts even if they make me feel uncomfortable because it requires me to think about difficult feelings that l wish would just stay hidden.
 
I just see it as someone being understandably curious and the other setting a healthy boundary. Both seem normal to me.
 
@tree , no problema. We are all civil. And we clarify ideas and thoughts because we can be so easily misunderstood. I may have a specific thought on my profile, and l may have a very general thought on this post. And l don't feel any need to connect my profile post to a thread on how l may think in general. Our thought processes separate us from the animal kingdom.
 
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It's a subject like this where I always think of a film I liked very much called "The Big Chill". Which had an underlying message of people entering middle age where it's ok to change.

And that's the bottom line here. With age, our values and attitudes don't necessarily remain etched in stone. That they evolve.

And that it's ok to evolve....especially in our later years. When retirement can put us in a very different place mentally and emotionally.
 
Misty Avich said:
I know what you mean. I've often posted things with the instinctive knowledge in the back of my mind that it's best left unsaid, but the urge was too powerful to resist and I also just hoped nobody would get offended.
It's like when I saw a political thread that I had a very strong opinion about, and being so it was a discussion thread I thought there'd be no harm in throwing in my view or experience. But, alas, there was. Whoops.
Then the next time I gave in to impulse, I thought "I'm not going to post anything...ohhh what the hell, I have to let this out!" *Tap, tap, tap away at the keyboard, doesn't proofread, submits, gets on with whatever I was doing before I checked the site, come back to it a bit later, suddenly finds out I have made enemies and the whole thread has become a flame war*
Rinse and repeat, except my intentions were always down to impulse and obsessing over political matters, not to sit and laugh at people getting offended and having no remorse or guilt.
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Well it's not always 100% our fault, no one should have to become someone's emotional punching bag because

a) they can because there is no personal accountability and the culture is rotten. They can indulge their shadow self to their bitter little black hearts desire and

b) they also lack impulse control and also aren't resilient enough to be handle views to the contrary without becoming a complete menace with their gang handed mates
 
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But being at this forum, is a great learning process for those of us stuck in black and white thinking. I like your thought process @thejuice , and l apologize to those l offended in my bitter black shadow self. (sadly, l feel sorry for those offended).
 
I'm talking in general terms about forums (and social media) Most forums have the same pattern I've found. This is the best one I've found even if Its not perfect (nothing is)
 
Aspychata said:
But being at this forum, is a great learning process for those of us stuck in black and white thinking. I like your thought process @thejuice , and l apologize to those l offended in my bitter black shadow self. (sadly, l feel sorry for those offended).
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You haven't offended me. :cool:
 
Aspychata said:
But being at this forum, is a great learning process for those of us stuck in black and white thinking. I like your thought process @thejuice , and l apologize to those l offended in my bitter black shadow self. (sadly, l feel sorry for those offended).
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I'm an over thinker and better on paper than in real life 😁 I'm mute basically. also I don't think you're any of those things I said it was a general rant that has been brewing for a while!
 
Yes, a non-conformist is the equivalent of being a whistle blower. It's difficult to walk a lifetime on the exact same path.
 
That sums up my whole thread. I don't walk the path that NT people walk. I may not have very clear strong feelings for others. But l mask well enough to get thru in life. And this doesn't mean l am a horrible person just because l think differently. I am less judgemental of myself and others.
 
Aspychata said:
That sums up my whole thread. I don't walk the path that NT people walk. I may not have very clear strong feelings for others. But l mask well enough to get thru in life. And this doesn't mean l am a horrible person just because l think differently.
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I don't feel a need to mask.
I would find it exhausting.
 
Aspychata said:
This is a good point @Jonn , what if we all stopped masking?
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All hell might break out. lol

Masking might help some people who have the energy/spoons to keep it up.
But I have heard many ppl say it is exhausting.

It depends if masking is beneficial for a person.
I'm financially self-sufficient and don't have to impress a boss.
And I am a loner, so I don't need to impress anyone, really.
 
I gave up trying to fit in years ago.
I decided that being reclusive works better for me.
 
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