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Xinyta

Xinyta

~Closeted Goth | A ragon in spirit~ 35 From Illinois
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  • Xinyta
    As of tomorrow, I will of been signed up here one year. Time flies. Time that has opened my eyes to alot and has me questioning everything.
    Xinyta
    20240318_095945.jpg


    This is another drawing I did. A more environmental drawing with Dimile. The stone slab says "The heart-soul calls all beings".
    NoKipAr on the run
    NoKipAr on the run
    you're good at what you do, but I also draw. hell! infact I'm an aspiring animator!

    get all the practice you need!
    try drawing the same thing, a character, a prop anything.....see how much you improve!
    Xinyta
    It's honestly kinda nuts how frequently temps fluctuate where I live. Today is going to be in the 70°F range today. Tomorrow, we are going to see around 40°F to 50°F temps.

    Truthfully. I really only feel like I more recently have taken note of this. It's not even spring yet, and it sure as heck feels like it.
    Xinyta
    20240314_102706.jpg


    I decided to do another bust style image. This time with a ring frame and some sayings written in Younger Furthark.

    I did the writing with help from this site. Turning my saying ideas in English, to the selected rune script I chose to write it in.
    Xinyta

    You know. This song was the TRUE start of my spiritual journey. I inadvertently started it after hearing this song in a music mod for Skyrim that changed the default soundtrack. Everytime I heard it, I felt one with the character I made.

    That was a calling. I was being awakened.
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    Do you like Gåte? They have some good tunes. Progressive Norwegian folk-rock.

    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    I appreciate the suggestion.

    I have actually not listened them before. I was, funnily enough, thinking about expanding to some other bands of the like.
    Xinyta
    I feel something calling inside me. I have been driven once more to listen to these:



    It's like there is this indescribable desire to seek my inner spiritual awakening and be driven to find a home inhabited by my spirit, more than my body. This calling is so much stronger than before.
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    Two sets of lyrics from Skugge not only echo in my mind, but resonate in my heart.

    Elden tvingar deg or meg (The fire force you from within)

    Svara eig du sjolv (Answers you find within)
    Xinyta
    20240312_111530.jpg


    This is my attempt at drawing a bust image of Dimile. Thinking about adding more and coloring it later.
    Xinyta
    20240311_173727.jpg


    I just did this a moment ago. A quick sketch of what I was mentioning earlier. A rabbit/dragon hybrid. A Ragon(ra-gun). I am naming them Dimile Solhart.

    I know this isn't a clean photo. But I am using my phone to take a picture.
    Xinyta

    It's been sometime since I listened to anything by Disturbed. This is a really good one. It eerily reflects a part of myself I am going to alleviate.

    Though due to recent events. My anger isn't what it was. So maybe I have let go alot more than I thought.
    Xinyta
    I think I have found my full identity spiritually. Something that makes sense. I've always known that dragons are kin to me. But there was a missing piece for a long time. I feel I've found that piece possibly. In the form of the rabbit.

    The mix of instincts, speed, power, wisdom, and just wonderous capabilities overall. Seem to match my overall being.
    Xinyta
    I never understood this before yesterday. I could never hate a person. What I hate, are unfair actions toward me and others. This DOES leave room to forgive my stepmother. How? Because I have separated the person from the actions, in how I am now thinking.

    It's thier actions in my head. Not them.
    jsilver256
    jsilver256
    Forgiveness is always a struggle. I try and remember intellectually that it is quite rare that people knowingly are mean to each other. It's all horrible ignorance and self-centeredness.
    Xinyta
    We had a scare tonight. My Uncle fell over and had issues getting back up. He's alright now and is in bed. But it's up in the air what happened.
    Xinyta
    The day is has been getting better and better as it's been going on. I'm feeling a increase in spirit that seems to be burning brightly. It's not solely excitement. It's something else. A sense of determination, maybe. A feeling of increased resolve. Feeling like I am getting ready to face my demons head on.
    Xinyta
    I have had a bit of positive reinforcement tonight about my potential to improve and that I have improved alot from almost three years ago.
    Xinyta
    I watched Father Stu with my Uncle. The movie has given me alot to think about after watching it.
    Xinyta
    I have a bit of a dilemma. I have spotty memories with school. And what I do remember, I struggle to pull any feelings I could of felt about it at the time.

    That tells me I was either overwhelmed by everything, or I was already very emotionally disconnected.
    View previous comments…
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    @jsilver256 I'm thinking about any point I've ever gone to school. Primary, Grade School, High School.

    @marc_101 I can't say for sure that I did that. Some memories do have rather strong emotions attached to them, but they aren't school related.
    M
    marc_101
    I meant, maybe there isn't anything wrong with that or was not on purpose; your brain just separated the memory from the emotions
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    Maybe the latter happened. But I'd think I would of have an idea of the emotion I felt though. Not being able to identify anything, more so, is what has me wondering.
    NoKipAr on the run
    did you draw that avatar yourself?

    it looks so cool!

    like.....Usagi Generation (or whatever its called ) meets JTHM.
    you into art?
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    No. I didn't draw it. It's done by an artist I do check up on occasionally, that goes by the name of gutterbunny. Thier OC generally resonates with me in some ways.

    But yeah. I do like to draw and I have always been fascinated with seeing other's drawings and other art styles. I've not really practiced painting, or anything else, since I got out of high school, though.
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    I guess I could attribute it to a lack of drive. Though I mean in general with everything, not just art.

    Maybe I just need to try and push more to get back into drawing more frequently. I do miss doing it.
    Xinyta
    I think things are starting to level out for me. I'm not so all over the place, as much. If I am curious, I just look it up. Though I need to keep working at that, and not be not afraid to ask questions, if I am still not sure.
    Xinyta
    I'm at a state of mental and emotional calm tonight. Not emotionless, but relaxed and happy. I think the big discoveries of the past week have put huge holes in my negative thoughts.

    The more that's been found, the more my old way of living feels irrational.
    Xinyta

    This is the song stuck in my head today. Particularly warm sunny days have me hearing this one.
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