Why Is it a Symptom When I Do It?

[tree]

Some Louisiana directions:
When giving directions you use "uptown," "downtown," "backatown,"
"riverside," "lakeside," "other side of the bayou," or "other side of the levee."
"Get off I-5 at Veterans Highway, then turn left where Pelican Bowling Lanes used to be."

When you refer to a geographical location "way up North'" you are referring to places like
Shreveport, Little Rock, or Memphis, where it gets real cold.

Some northern Michigan directions:
Same sort of thing, only 'out past Glen's' (which was the name of the chain now called Family Fare, but nobody
really likes that name), or across from Northland, behind the post office, or turn right when you are at the feed
store & it's on your right coming out of town.

My favorite, from high school, the year we moved to a different town.
Principal, on the PA, morning announcements, activities for the day:
"We will meet where the Lincoln statue used to be."

All of the above is gratuitous. I have no capability understanding directions & following them.
When some person is unfortunate enough to need directions from me to where I am, I write them out,
read them (it's usually over the phone).

They include roads,addresses, landmarks (feed store probably, electric substation
definitely), outstanding mailbox [that would be mine. Nobody else on this road has painted blue horizontal stripes
on the post]. Everything I can do, that I myself would require in order to locate the place they want to go.
Including "if you come to a pond, you have gone too far. Turn around, come back. This time my place will be
on your left. That's north. You will be going east."

If you overshoot, again, remember, my place is 4/10ths of
a mile from the intersection. That's less than half a mile.
That's what I said the first time, but you went right past.

When I ride with someone & they want to know which way to go,
I point. Does any of this relate to the topic? Maybe. I don't know.

Ah... there it is, OP's question.
"Do you ever feel like you're just being unfairly singled out? "
OK. No. I don't.
To be singled out, fairly or unfairly,
someone would have to be
paying attention.

 

[NateSean]

Okay, getting away from the example I used involving directions, here's another one.

During an evaluation recently, a "doctor" gave me a series of math problems. I didn't have an adequate amount of time to figure any of them out, so of course I didn't get any right. Pencil and paper and hour's time, sure. Asking me those same problems and expecting me to do them in my head in under few minutes is another thing entirely. So he suggested that I have a "Math Disability."

Look, I'm not Matt Damon. If the majority of the world could do math problems in their head with a limited amount of time, casinos would all go out of business. They didn't invent the electronic cash register that totals up your purchases and deducts the discounts for you instantly because the people of the world were tired of having to utilize such amazing computational skills. So either the entire world has a "math disability" or the shrink only said I have one because I just happened to be going in for an evaluation at the time. Does he believe every cashier he encounters has a math disability as well?

 

[SocOfAutism]

I've heard this "math disability" thing before and I don't get it. What happened to not being good at something? And just because you're not good at it doesn't mean you can't do it given enough time and effort. When you go around calling things "disabilities" it makes people think they shouldn't try. And I'd say that applies to a lot of real disabilities as well. There shouldn't be an expectation that it can't be done or you shouldn't try.

 

[NateSean]

Exactly. It's like if I were to ask you to name me all of the capitols in Africa. If you didn't know them off the top of your head, it doesn't mean you have a "geography disability". It just means that you've never personally had a reason to keep that information on tap.

I just think that in the long run, we would probably find more support in the community at large if it didn't seem like the diagnostic process involved a big dartboard full of possible symptoms and traits and a team of "Experts" writing down a list based on what each dart lands on.

 

[BlueConundrum]

I sometimes wonder if it's a control thing. I know everyone reacts to their diagnosis differently, so I hope no one reacts angrily when I say this, but from day one in my life it has always felt like a matter of someone else trying to get a rein on me. They can't change my mind or my way of thinking, so they come up with a blanket label and it gives them a feeling that they always have the answer with me.

Do you ever feel that way with your mother?

I feel like there's definitely a control element, but also I think that people like to distance themselves from anything they consider to be "other." This goes for all conditions -- physical or mental disabilities or conditions like AS.

So, you have this thing that may or may not be perceived as "quirky." Your mom does it, too, but she sees you do it and in her head it's another thing that makes you different. I hope I'm articulating myself well, but it's kind of like if someone has a physical illness, people automatically dissect everything they do. I recently saw a picture online of a young disabled woman (I forget what her illness was, but she had severe mobility issues at a young age and walked with a cane). In the picture she was smoking a cigarette, and people started commenting on how she might not be disabled if she didn't smoke, when obviously she'd been like that her whole life and while smoking is certainly unhealthy, it was completely irrelevant to her life experience.

If you have any kind of condition that affects how you navigate the world, then it seems like people try to make sense of it in a way when it doesn't have to make sense at all. The sentiment seems to be "You do _____ because of your condition" or "If only you had done _____, you wouldn't be the way you are." Things happen. People are born in many different ways. People exist in many different ways.

 

[ancusmitis]

I had a guy claim that the reason I disagreed with him was because I was autistic. And this was on an autism forum of all places. I was very hurt and insulted by it. I posted an analysis and critique of attitudes in society, brought up factual situations as evidence, and he told me I was being too literal and started quoting the dictionary at me.

 

[NateSean]

I had a guy claim that the reason I disagreed with him was because I was autistic. And this was on an autism forum of all places.

In situations like that, sometimes I try to throw the same logic into the other party's face, but they're too self-absorbed to recognize that I'm using their own words against them.