Mars26
21 years old aspie
I've been having a pretty bad time lately. At the university, privately, etc. However, with the help of a psychiatrist and a good attitude, I managed not to fall into depression again. It was really hard. However, I made one mistake when I felt sad. Namely, I got drunk at a party, on the same day I heard what was wrong with my project in college, around the same time I started slowly annoying my friends and still didn't know what to do with my ex. There was a lot of it. When I got drunk, I flirted with my friend (btw she has a boyfriend) in front of my ex-boyfriend, and I was also talking weird random things. I've never been so drunk to not remember. But from what I learned so far, when someone told me that my behavior disturbed them, I stopped immediately. I don't try whitewash what I did, but they act like I have to do penance for what I did. They didn't even invite me to the party they were organizing now. From what I learned from few of my friends, one of them (sober) reportedly did a much worse thing at the new party, she behaved in a not cool way, she insulted people but everything is still ok, because she is one of the leaders of our group. Of course, I'm not saying that everyone is bad because there are individuals who are awesome. I also know that I did wrong because I shouldn't drink when I felt bad. Now I wonder what to do because my best friend is not talking to me since last Friday. To be fair it is Easter now and in our country the holiday season lasts from Sunday 28 March to Monday 5 April. So he might as well be busy, and I am paranoid as always and misinterpreted why he is not writing. I forgot to mention that while I was so drunk at this party, I had a concussion. And most people blew me away, only two friends and my ex helped me. This group is more a group of acquaintance than a group of friends. It is made up of friends of one couple (my friend from college and his girlfriend). And it seems to me that because everyone is acting like we're best friends, I believed it. I had a similar situation in high school where I trusted people I barely knew because they said we were friends.
Could someone advise me when I should speak to my best friend now and how to do it? I was thinking about sending him an Easter wishes tomorrow and see how he responds. I should also mention that my best friend is my ex. I didn't want to say this at the beginning because not everyone thinks you should be friends with your ex, and we were best friends even before we were a couple. Now I am a bit worried that I am persona non grata because some friends from our group who I really know well (because I go to college with them) and who have not helped me recently because I annoyed them, they know things about my relationship with my ex (I just I complained about him to them). And I'm afraid that maybe they told him about it at the last party. Everyone tells me that since they've had enough of me lately, they probably didn't talk about me. However, I am afraid because my best friend is very important to me and I don't want to lose him, considering that we have been doing so well for months now. (of course it is still not an easy friendship). Also, I don't know what should I do with this group next?
Could someone advise me when I should speak to my best friend now and how to do it? I was thinking about sending him an Easter wishes tomorrow and see how he responds. I should also mention that my best friend is my ex. I didn't want to say this at the beginning because not everyone thinks you should be friends with your ex, and we were best friends even before we were a couple. Now I am a bit worried that I am persona non grata because some friends from our group who I really know well (because I go to college with them) and who have not helped me recently because I annoyed them, they know things about my relationship with my ex (I just I complained about him to them). And I'm afraid that maybe they told him about it at the last party. Everyone tells me that since they've had enough of me lately, they probably didn't talk about me. However, I am afraid because my best friend is very important to me and I don't want to lose him, considering that we have been doing so well for months now. (of course it is still not an easy friendship). Also, I don't know what should I do with this group next?
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