When I was 16 my parents made me get married. I didn't want to but being ASD (which was not known then) I didn't know how to fight it. I remember at that age I didn't even feel like I could walk outside to the porch without permission and that husband controlled me and kept me home with my son while he was out drinking and running around every night. My parents would tell me he was my cross to bear but I got to where I couldn't bear it anymore and I kicked him out. Financially I'm not sure how we managed with my salary of $875/month but I loved my job and was happy with it just being me and my son. I didn't have friends and was more than a days drive from all my family and my ex since he moved back home. After a few years I met and fell in love with J and I can still say he will always be the love of my life. He drove a truck so he wasn't home much at all. We moved around a lot - lived in upper Michigan, Indiana, New York state, Texas, Montana a few different times, Utah, Alaska. It was perfect for me. We had babies and it was me and my babies. Only one place did I make any friends and that was in Bozeman, Mt. When he WAS home it was hard - I was a fumbling mess, dropping everything (including eggs) and just didn't know what to do. I never knew why, as much as I loved him and he was good to me, but when he was home I was lost. When he was on the road he called 3-4 times a day (which now I know why - and it was long distances charges at the time and pay phones). My family didn't even know where I was so they couldn't even call me. I would call my mom maybe once a month. Well, some things happened and I learned that he was a con artist (the reason for moving so much) and wanted by several states plus the FBI and when I was dealing with the FBI, who had all my journals, having to spend day after day for a month telling my story to them, in the process I learned that he was gay. I loved him but I couldn't live with the risks for me or my children so I had no choice but to leave and went back to NC and stayed with my mom for a while. J never helped financially with the kids and I never tried to make him because I knew he knew how to disappear. He visited about every 2-3 years and would stay with us over night, so the kids never really spent time with him. But he is fun to spend time with and, as a matter of fact, he's coming in this week and he will take us all out to eat. Maybe that's still the kind of relationship I need and nothing more. lol I did remarry after my kids were grown and he was a narcissist and would just come in and start yelling at me for no reason. At night he would literally pull my hair real hard to wake me up pretending it was an accident - he just resented when I was asleep and he wasn't - no reason for wanting me to wake up. Anyhow I got to where I couldn't function so ended up leaving.
Now I have an apartment in my oldest son's basement. Have my own entry, my own space and constantly changing things around and doing what ever I want with it - slowly turned it from a garage basement into a really cute apartment. But he and his family are upstairs should I need anything at my age and my daughter in law comes down at least once a day so I know if something happens I won't be laying there for days before someone finds me. An ideal situation here.