Unsolicited comments (of any sort)

[Judge]

Does doing shop-back mean returning merchandise
back to its correct area, because customers have moved
it?

I couldn't find a definition anywhere, so I am just going
on context.

If shop-back means putting stuff where it goes . . . then
"I didn't do it" would be a jokey reference to what you are
doing. An attempt to be friendly and make a joke. "Don't
blame me. I didn't do it. I am not the one causing you a
problem."

If shop-back means some other thing, then IDK.

LOL. I had the same question. Couldn't find it.

Yeah, I'm guessing as a bagger, when merchandise at the checkout stand isn't sold to a customer, that it's the bagger who routinely returns the product to where it belongs on the shelves.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Yeah, it means collecting items customers picked up but decided not to buy, and returning them to their shelves. Some people also call it reshop, and one manager calls the items deadheads. I do it a lot and as a result I know where pretty much everything in the store is. Good thing, too, because when I do shopback I'm constantly approached by customers wanting to know where this or that is.
It sounds inconvenient but it's a totally normal part of my job, and often I'd rather do it than bag, especially because I've recently had a lot of back pain while standing still. Walking around returning items hurts a lot less physically.

True, he said what he said because of who he is - all harassers choose to harass because of who they are; no one forces them - but somehow I doubt he would have said it to a man, like the store manager, unless they knew each other already. And there were customers all around us whom he didn't talk to. I happened to walk by and he decided to say something unnecessary for whatever reason.

It's funny, the route I took at that moment wasn't the one I had originally been planning to take. I had to reach the other end of the store for a perishable or something, and I was going to go around the back. But I guess I reached the front of an aisle after putting something else back and decided, whatever, I'll go by the front end, no big deal.
But sometimes it is a big deal. And a lot of the time, when this happens, it's in an aisle and I always wish I'd taken another aisle. Especially an empty one. But you can never predict what will happen in any aisle. Even if it's empty, a customer might enter it.

Haha, I think I would be teased more if I acted like a Disney character, because it would make it easier for people to label and compare. For example, "You're just like Snow White - OH AND YOU'VE GOT APPLES TOO! Look at that! Don't eat them, haha!"

 

[Judge]

Beats me! I guess you're just a flirt magnet for Neurotypicals.

But if true it would certainly explain why I can't seem to follow all these bizarre and unsolicited social experiences you've had.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Beats me! I guess you're just a flirt magnet for Neurotypicals.

But if true it would certainly explain why I can't seem to follow all these bizarre and unsolicited social experiences you've had.

Yeah, despite all the modifications to my appearance. :/ Still sticking with them though. I guess it was high time I got rid of the braids. I only wore them because I didn't know what else to do with my hair. Now I do. And honestly, it's more comfortable to have my hair up, when I do it nice and tight.

Here's another weird incident, fresh from this afternoon. I was doing shopback and this lady walked past me, and said, "Are you shopping?" in the tone people use to talk to babies, with a big grin on her face. I said seriously, "No." And she said, "Oh, you're putting stuff back... You look like you're shopping."

Just the way she asked me if I was shopping was so weird... I don't understand what would have been so special about me shopping. I shop after shifts all the time, whenever I need something, and I'm sure many of my coworkers do too.

I recently made a Tumblr account because I found the blog of a story editor for the new DuckTales and wanted to ask him questions. I've been thinking of making a retail-related one too, so I can share my experiences more freely than on character-limited Twitter (where I have a moderately successful anonymous account for retail stuff).

 

[Judge]

Here's another weird incident, fresh from this afternoon. I was doing shopback and this lady walked past me, and said, "Are you shopping?" in the tone people use to talk to babies, with a big grin on her face. I said seriously, "No." And she said, "Oh, you're putting stuff back... You look like you're shopping."

Just the way she asked me if I was shopping was so weird... I don't understand what would have been so special about me shopping. I shop after shifts all the time, whenever I need something, and I'm sure many of my coworkers do too.

Yeah, that's beyond bizarre.

Maybe it's not you at all, but rather your store. That's it's some extra-dimensional vortex for extreme Neurotypical behavior. Too bad you couldn't create a script from all these experiences and sell it to the SyFy Channel.

- "Storenado!"

When you add up all your experiences at work....none of it collectively makes much sense to me as to why people engage you in such ways. Some of them have possible explanations while others....totally baffling.

I can only hope karma improves for you with another employer some day in the near and brighter future.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Yeah, that's beyond bizarre.

Maybe it's not you at all, but rather your store. That's it's some extra-dimensional vortex for extreme Neurotypical behavior.

Too bad you couldn't create a script from all these experiences and sell it to the SyFy Channel.

- "Storenado!"

When you add up all your experiences at work....none of it collectively makes much sense to me as to why people engage you in such ways. Some of them have possible explanations while others....totally baffling.

I can only hope karma improves for you with another employer some day in the near and brighter future.

I think the entire state of Maryland is a NT behavior vortex. I was never so overwhelmed, confused, and trapped in rules and red tape until I moved to MD. I'd never seen people quite so paranoid, suspicious, and insecure until I moved to MD. I've been told this is because the government's here. People in MN acted weird too, but it was more predictable. Same old thing day in and day out; that's what MN is. In MD it seems they're always thinking of new ways to be stupid (and control everyone)

I got teasing and harassment at the MN store I worked at too (one regular I remember was a coworker's HUSBAND!), but in my naivety didn't recognize it as harassment, just people being stupid. If I had recognized it, and made the changes I've made here, I wonder if it would have lessened like it has here (although I'm hesitant to say that since it seems to be starting up again).

The more I think about it, the more I think starting a blog (or vlog channel on YouTube) is a good idea. I can share my experiences with the world publicly, with no character limit (and maybe give my blog/channel name to my harassers and say, "You're my next topic," LOL).

Working from home is definitely my dream job. Especially communicating with clients online. If they can't see how young I look, they'll take me more seriously. In the meantime, maybe my next makeup step should be learning how to contour...

 

[Judge]

The more I think about it, the more I think starting a blog (or vlog channel on YouTube) is a good idea. I can share my experiences with the world publicly, with no character limit (and maybe give my blog/channel name to my harassers and say, "You're my next topic," LOL).

Sounds like a good idea.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Sounds like a good idea.

Then again... if they actually visit it, and it makes them mad, they could report it to management and get me fired. So maybe that part's not a good idea. But I really like the idea of a blog.

 

[Judge]

Then again... if they actually visit it, and it makes them mad, they could report it to management and get me fired. So maybe that part's not a good idea. But I really like the idea of a blog.

Well, you just can't be totally transparent about your employer or fellow employees. But I suppose you can describe individual social transactions. They don't need to have names or places attached to them.

 

[tree]

Some people who write do this:

fictionalize

[fik-shuh-nl-ahyz]

• Examples
• Word Origin

See more synonyms on Thesaurus.com
verb (used with object), fictionalized, fictionalizing.

to make into fiction; give a somewhat imaginative or fictional version of:
to fictionalize a biography.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
This approach has some advantages.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Well, you just can't be totally transparent about your employer or fellow employees. But I suppose you can describe individual social transactions. They don't need to have names or places attached to them.

I defnitely don't plan to reveal any names or the company I work for, but I think I'd get fired for it anyway if the customer claimed to be the one described in the post. My company doesn't treat workers like people.
I was about to say that if they don't want the interaction described on the public internet then they shouldn't DO it in public in the first place, but I remembered that it would be my complaints about it (and possibly insults toward them) that would offend them, not the simple report.

Some people who write do this:

fictionalize

[fik-shuh-nl-ahyz]

• Examples
• Word Origin

See more synonyms on Thesaurus.com
verb (used with object), fictionalized, fictionalizing.

to make into fiction; give a somewhat imaginative or fictional version of:
to fictionalize a biography.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
This approach has some advantages.

Basically what Laura Ingalls Wilder did with her books... Cool, but I think I'd rather report my experiences factually. I want to tell the world exactly what happened. I'll just make everything and everyone anonymous.

 

[Judge]

but I think I'd get fired for it anyway if the customer claimed to be the one described in the post.

Imagine someone wanting to bring public notice to the fact that they were behaving like a complete ass. Unfortunately it happens all the time nowadays. So many want their "fifteen minutes of fame" any way they can get it.

Point taken.

But yeah, as Tree pointed out you could still fictionalize or anonymize the scenario. No names, places or descriptions to identify you, your employer, employees or customers.

Besides, I'd think it would be highly unlikely for such people to be perusing a blog about an autistic versus NT viewpoint. Your employers though, may be the ones to periodically search the web for disparaging comments so that's the real exposure to be concerned about IMO.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Imagine someone wanting to bring public notice to the fact that they were behaving like a complete ass. Unfortunately it happens all the time nowadays. So many want their "fifteen minutes of fame" any way they can get it.

Point taken.

But yeah, as Tree pointed out you could still fictionalize or anonymize the scenario. No names, places or descriptions to identify you, your employer, employees or customers.

Haha yeah. Except they only see it as them making an innocent joke and being funny, not being an ass. So they'd put all the blame on me for "being rude."

Trust me... I totally plan to anonymize. Though I might give a vague description of the customer that could apply to thousands of people - e.g. "old bald guy." Something to make it seem creepier than just "guy."

 

[Judge]

Haha yeah. Except they only see it as them making an innocent joke and being funny, not being an ass. So they'd put all the blame on me for "being rude."

Trust me... I totally plan to anonymize.

LOL...no I didn't mean to post it using my words. Otherwise I just might get more creative.

But as far as I'm concerned, they are asses. When I see a cute girl it doesn't mean I have to physically react to them, let alone make any needless snarky or awkward comments to them.

Though I might eventually make friends with them if the conditions are right and I sense more to them beyond just what I see.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Well guys. I had hoped this thread would be able to be quiet for a while, as I always report my experiences in here, but today I had one of the WORST experiences yet.

So I had an early shift today. At one point I was bagging and everything was going normally. One customer, a woman, came up to me after I was done bagging her order and she was done with the cashier and everything, and said, "How are you?" I internally groaned at the fake, overused, "polite" question and said, "Fine," which usually satisfies the asker. However, it didn't satisfy her, solely because I was not smiling. I had a neutral expression and a neutral tone, and she got all riled up about it and started hassling me, saying crap like "You should be happy, you should smile, you're not fine if you're not," etc.

I was in a fine mood until the interaction. I was just neutral, working, waiting for my shift to be over, not particularly happy or unhappy. But she accused me of being unhappy, and then denied it when I told her just that. She finally realized and said, "You've got an attitude today!"

And I said, "Yes, I do. Because you're hassling me."

And then she went off on a rant about how I have to smile and be happy because she works with Alzheimer's patients and therefore has REAL problems.

Never mind that I've had a lifetime of bullying, anxiety, pain (all kinds), homelessness, and even cancer in the family.

I am seriously so close to quitting my job. Even dark makeup won't keep people from trying to use me for fun. (My mom gave me honest feedback on it - I don't look intimidating or older at all, I just look like I'm trying. And I guess customers like to mock that.)

To this idiot and all customers like her: F UCK YOU! GO DIE IN A DITCH AND BURN IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swear, I am NEVER going to answer that stale old "question" of "how are you" ever again. Every time a customer asks, even if I'm in the middle of bagging a huge order, I'll just drop everything and walk away. I am NOT putting up with this. I am NOT conforming to mindless societal norms. I am NOT letting myself be BULLIED FOR EXISTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[umbrellabeach]

And today I was bringing a motorized cart back inside after a carryout and a random guy came up and told me I'd "failed my parking test." Ugh. Three customers in two days (one guy yesterday tried to get a reaction from me before I even punched in).

It's like it calmed down for a little while after the changes I made to my appearance, but now it's coming back stronger than ever. You know what, I no longer care about the rules in my workplace; I'm going to carry my personal alarm and carry it openly (it's already clipped to the front of my apron). Anytime someone starts getting stupid with me I'll set it off and let it go on until they go away. I'm not putting up with this anymore.

 

[Rayner]

Do you ever get unsolicited comments outside of work?

And today I was bringing a motorized cart back inside after a carryout and a random guy came up and told me I'd "failed my parking test." Ugh. Three customers in two days (one guy yesterday tried to get a reaction from me before I even punched in).

It's like it calmed down for a little while after the changes I made to my appearance, but now it's coming back stronger than ever. You know what, I no longer care about the rules in my workplace; I'm going to carry my personal alarm and carry it openly (it's already clipped to the front of my apron). Anytime someone starts getting stupid with me I'll set it off and let it go on until they go away. I'm not putting up with this anymore.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Do you ever get unsolicited comments outside of work?

I was about to say work is the main reason I ever leave the house so I don't know, but then I remembered I was at the comic book store last week for the first time, sitting on the floor and looking through comics, and a random woman I don't know (fellow customer, I think) came up and said, "Read one more page and you'll have to pay for it." So I'd say yes, though less often when I'm a fellow customer and not an employee, so it was a surprising incident.
Stupid thing to say too, as I fully intended to buy some, and I did.

I used to get a lot of unwanted attention at church too, because it's a social place where anyone who doesn't obey social norms is picked on. I'd get comments about being quiet and not interacting - not to mention intentionally touched without my permission (often from behind) countless times. Because of that I don't go to church anymore.

So yeah, I get them everywhere, though most often at work since that's where I usually am if I'm not at home (and because employees are seen as less than human).

 

[Rayner]

I don't get unsolicited comments nearly as much as you do. I'm often confused by social interaction.

I was about to say work is the main reason I ever leave the house so I don't know, but then I remembered I was at the comic book store last week for the first time, sitting on the floor and looking through comics, and a random woman I don't know (fellow customer, I think) came up and said, "Read one more page and you'll have to pay for it." So I'd say yes, though less often when I'm a fellow customer and not an employee, so it was a surprising incident.
Stupid thing to say too, as I fully intended to buy some, and I did.

I used to get a lot of unwanted attention at church too, because it's a social place where anyone who doesn't obey social norms is picked on. I'd get comments about being quiet and not interacting - not to mention intentionally touched without my permission (often from behind) countless times. Because of that I don't go to church anymore.

So yeah, I get them everywhere, though most often at work since that's where I usually am if I'm not at home (and because employees are seen as less than human).

 

[umbrellabeach]

I don't get unsolicited comments nearly as much as you do. I'm often confused by social interaction.

I checked your profile and it says you're male. That may very well have something to do with it. I'm female, young (22), and look even younger.

Furthermore I'm pretty sure the guy who harassed me today was also hitting on me. My mom says if a guy talks to me just because he wants to, he's hitting on me. It's disgusting because a lot of them are my dad's age.
One good thing is my dad gave me permission to give them HIS number if they ask for mine. XD I'm still waiting for the opportunity though.