Unseen frustrations

[Aura Todd]

Imagine the situation. You suffer from Aspergers and your with a group of people at a support centre. In comes another support worker who is friendly enough, but gives you funny looks because she/he thinks you don't fit the criteria for support; yet you do need support.

It's bad enough when your stared at through narrowed eyes, like their saying 'why does she need help for? There's nothing wrong with her'. But THERE is because it's bad enough feeling like your in a box ...in social situations staring out being judged for what you can and can't do.

Feeling like your not being wanted and feeling embarrassed because you had the courage to admit you had a problem, is not easy. Being made to feel like 'you don't need to be here' when you do is pretty deflating to a condition which is not helped any better by the attitude of 'we can't help you, you just don't fit the bloody bill'.

What do I need to do to prove my autism, it's hard enough trying to get across what I mean. Then people jump the gun and misunderstand what you are talking about, hang on you've got the wrong end of the stick. Do you know or even realise how frustrating it is trying to get people even understand autism in adults? Would you rather we all end up in asylums like back in the 19th century?

A bit of compassion would be nice, surprisingly even some Dr's from the older generation fail to recognise mental health or Aspergers. Please be patient with adults with Aspergers, don't get annoyed or impatient. If you do then your in the wrong profession, maybe retail or extra training would suit you better?

 

[Crossbreed]

What do I need to do to prove my autism, it's hard enough trying to get across what I mean.

Find somebody with more experience in ASDs. So many untrained seem to believe that a pronounced cognitive deficit is a necessary symptom. (ASD's with normal intelligence AND 2E's are frequently misdiagnosed.) You should not be the one to have to bring them up to speed.

Would you let a surgeon operate on your knee, if they didn't know which was your patella, tibia, fibula or femur?

We must demand competency from our ASD service providers.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Well the fact of the matter is that you don't need to prove anything to them. You wouldn't be there if you didn't have needs. You're not there because you think you're a little quirky.

I do sort of get their point of view though. There is so many people who self diagnose out there especially with Asperger's Syndrome that it's increasingly a blurry condition and in some ways can water down the significance of it if people don't have needs. But that in no way means they get to question if your needs are legitimate, that job belongs to doctors, and doctors alone.

 

[Aura Todd]

I was diagnosed by the quack 2 years ago.

 

[toothless]

I was diagnosed by the quack 2 years ago.

you should ask around for a advocate who specialises in ASDs to come with you to see her [assuming you actually need to see her] and if possible have one of your parents with you [assuming they dont have a blurry idea of your developmental history],but if its purely an opinion she is offering and not a way into support i recommend to learn mindfulness meditation and use this to disappear into your mind whenever people like her make ridiculous comments as it beats getting anxious or upset over stupid people like her.
she probably doesnt understand how much more unique the female presentation of autism is.

ive met many,many ignorant people who comment on my autism,mainly they say things to whoever is with me like 'poor thing' and 'is there an operation for that?' .

ive only had one support staff in a learning disability institution say i wasnt autistic because i have very severe sensory issues and the most profoundly autistic person didnt have any at all [she was profoundly deaf to],i couldnt comment as i was non verbal so i learnt to give a mental 'f- you' and blog it all, and they found it out somehow and it annoyed them incredibly,they tried to control how i wrote but i didnt listen and eventually the social services learning disabiltiy team i was supported by started using my old blog as training based around learning disability and severe autism.

 

[Crossbreed]

@Aura Todd , restated, these people don't know their ASDs from a hole in the ground...!

(For those outside of the USA, that is a play on an American phrase. )

 

[Crossbreed]

I even had one person remark, "Gee, I didn't know you were retarded." I responded, "Gee, I didn't know you were either."

I am willing to admit to social skills retardation, but too many people don't know the difference.

 

[Tyrantus1212]

Please be patient with adults with Aspergers, don't get annoyed or impatient.

This should apply to everyone on the planet, not just doctors and support workers, and it's easier said than done. Anger never solves anything, it only makes things worse for both me and the NT. It hurts our feelings, and in my case it completely lowers my self-esteem and may very well escalate a fight because I tend to impulsively overreact to that; I feel that the NT was being a jerk. I don't mean to annoy anyone, I'm not a sadist. I just wish all the NT's around me would understand this for crying out loud. A few do, there have been just a few people who have never gotten impatient with me - but most have at least a few times, even ones who care about me. If I end up explaining Asperger's to someone who has a history of impatience with me, they're just gonna think that I'm making excuses. I'm known to always make excuses in the general case and I do it subconsciously so people don't think that I'm an idiot, and that actually stems from low self-esteem.

What's the point of getting impatient? What's the point of getting angry? People can feel whatever they feel but why take it out on us? Why make us feel guilty? Why not save all that frustration towards the scum of the earth? AC is such a good outlet for me when I MYSELF get frustrated with people. Thanks for listening guys.