For me, I find that I am becoming more assertive when I need time out. Before, I felt very embarrassed and just coped because I felt I was being too troublesome.
Take last night. Well we celebrated the memorial of Jesus Christ and I already knew I was not going to cope very well ie noise and crowds, but what made it worse, was needing to get to our hall an hour before it started, due to my husband on parking duties. As predicted, since I had not been assigned to do anything, I felt I was in the way; but felt too shy to sit and do nothing; since it was in a small room and thus, no where to "disappear". I felt close to tears and useless and suddenly, grabbed my tablet ( android, for those who take things literally - like me lol) and got in our car and tried to breath and not to burst into tears. I did not feel embarrassed for doing that though and when I saw another beloved couple arrive, who had not been assigned to do anything, I suddenly knew it was going to be ok and it was.
Before finding out I have aspergers, I would either just sit there, feeling worse and worse, or go and sit in the car and die with shame; none of that happened.
I now say to my husband that I cannot do a full day of anything, otherwise, I will not be able to function the next day and although he is annoyed and frustrated, I do not feel shame, because he knows I am different and thus, if he chooses to not "get to know me", then that has to be his problem. Oh and believe me, I have spent my married life trying to be a good wife!
But anyway, this supposed to be a POSITIVE thread lol
Take last night. Well we celebrated the memorial of Jesus Christ and I already knew I was not going to cope very well ie noise and crowds, but what made it worse, was needing to get to our hall an hour before it started, due to my husband on parking duties. As predicted, since I had not been assigned to do anything, I felt I was in the way; but felt too shy to sit and do nothing; since it was in a small room and thus, no where to "disappear". I felt close to tears and useless and suddenly, grabbed my tablet ( android, for those who take things literally - like me lol) and got in our car and tried to breath and not to burst into tears. I did not feel embarrassed for doing that though and when I saw another beloved couple arrive, who had not been assigned to do anything, I suddenly knew it was going to be ok and it was.
Before finding out I have aspergers, I would either just sit there, feeling worse and worse, or go and sit in the car and die with shame; none of that happened.
I now say to my husband that I cannot do a full day of anything, otherwise, I will not be able to function the next day and although he is annoyed and frustrated, I do not feel shame, because he knows I am different and thus, if he chooses to not "get to know me", then that has to be his problem. Oh and believe me, I have spent my married life trying to be a good wife!
But anyway, this supposed to be a POSITIVE thread lol