Speech Peculiarities

[Axeman52]

Hi

One thing I've often seen listed as a common trait of AS is non-specific "speech peculiarities". I thought I spoke "normally", just unusually quietly most of the time, and sometimes a bit monotonously.

But on friday night while setting up for a gig the sound man had a sudden and confusing outburst of laughter because he said "the bathroom is safe. if you lock yourself in the bathroom, nothing can get you" and I said "I can think of lots of things that can get you in the bathroom"... I had no idea why he was laughing and eventually when he managed to calm down enough to talk coherently, he said "The inflection in your voice made that sound really, REALLY sleazy".

That got me thinking and made me realise, there have been many occasions where I have been completely misunderstood, for reasons I didn't understand because I have not been able to work out how my choice of words could've been more clear, and I guess it must be something to do with what happens when I semi-automatically go into "NT speech mode" where I am kind of trying to emulate the tone of voice that other people around me are using (I'm not actually aware that I'm doing this while I'm doing it most of the time, but it's definitely something I do a lot, now that I think about it). I guess in certain situations, people have relied on misleading non-verbal cues I have unintentionally given through trying to speak in a more "normal" tone of voice, as well as the verbal information I meant to give them, to reach their own flawed understanding of what they thought I was trying to tell them...

Well.. This post kinda digressed a bit and now I'm not even sure where I'm going with it... I guess I'll try and ask a coherent question/point of discussion that sort of makes sense of my scatterbrained ramblings:

Do you think that speech peculiarities that are associated with AS can be the cause of this confusion I sometimes experience where my tone of voice seems to be interpreted by others as a non-verbal cue that inaccurately informs their understanding of the purely verbal information I'm trying to give them? and does anyone else experience this?

 

[ASD_Geek]

I have something similar that happens on occasion where I am told that I am being funny when I was being normal or serious for me. I've also had the reverse happen, where I say something that is misinterpreted as being serious when I am trying to be funny. I usually just blow it off so as not to seem too odd.

There are also times when I will say something that is a double entendre, but I didn't realize it at the time. Occasionally, that is what will be the cause of be being taken for being silly while not intending that to be the case.

 

[On the Inside]

I have no idea if people are picking up non-verbal cues from me at all. I don't think I am even aware if I am giving non-verbal cues, I certainly am not trying to, and if I were to try, I wouldn't know what to do.

Though I guess others would be reading whatever it is I'm doing non-verbally, as having some meaning.

I've often thought it would be fun and helpful to take acting classes so that I might consciously try to use tone of voice, inflection, body language and other non-verbal cues. It would be valuable to have them observed and evaluated by someone well versed in the skill of projecting all those things so others have no doubt as to what is being conveyed.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I have had several instances where people thought I was being sarcastic because of my tone.

 

[Spiller]

I sing loudly in the car a lot to try to make my voice louder, deeper and more expressive, as I often speak quietly/softly and have to repeat myself all the time, especially in noisy places.
I've read about - and had experience with - people reading weakness into soft voices and are less likely to listen to me or take my word for something, so I'd say tone carries a lot of non-verbal information and directly affects others perception of the verbal content.

 

[On the Inside]

I often speak softly, and I stammer sometimes, so I must come across rather weak. Though people have said I have a "don't mess with me" vibe, and I'm 6' 1" and athletic, so it must be an odd contrast.

 

[Spiller]

I often speak softly, and I stammer sometimes, so I must come across rather weak. Though people have said I have a "don't mess with me" vibe, and I'm 6' 1" and athletic, so it must be an odd contrast.

I find being physically fit alone makes a difference anyway, as you carry yourself differently when you have more confidence in your body.. maybe that offsets the soft voice? I certainly find speaking from the diaphragm with a deeper, fuller voice impresses people more than my normal soft voice, though the soft voice is good when speaking to women on their own and children.

 

[SameStars]

People don't always pick up on my sarcasm. I'd make a serious comment and someone thought it was a joke; or a sarcastic comment gets mistaken for sincerity.

 

[Judge]

People don't always pick up on my sarcasm. I'd make a serious comment and someone thought it was a joke; or a sarcastic comment gets mistaken for sincerity.

That might be "par for the course" if you're in the company of certain Aspies.

I have no problem with irony or idioms, yet my brain just don't process sarcasm well at all. When people use it in my direction I usually appear clueless, creating an awkward moment which seems to stop them from continuing.

Works for me, as much of the time I AM clueless where sarcasm is concerned.

But then I also have a somewhat monotone voice which can leave people puzzled if I say certain things without any apparent emphasis.

 

[DogwoodTree]

I have had several instances where people thought I was being sarcastic because of my tone.

Yes, this. I've even had this happen over email, so I think it must have at least as much to do with my word choice as tone of voice.

 

[Judge]

Yes, this. I've even had this happen over email, so I think it must have at least as much to do with my word choice as tone of voice.

Oh yes- me too, on both counts.

It is weird when occasionally I write something and read it back after the fact and discover it may have other meanings not intended!

 

[wyverary]

I like to take full advantage of my peculiar speech patterns, especially in conversation with my boss, where I come across so droll that it's impossible to tell whether or not I'm joking. In such cases I consider my "peculiarities" an advantage, just a chance to have a little fun.

 

[Judge]

I like to take full advantage of my peculiar speech patterns, especially in conversation with my boss, where I come across so droll that it's impossible to tell whether or not I'm joking. In such cases I consider my "peculiarities" an advantage, just a chance to have a little fun.

Reminds me of having to train new employees in the corporate world. Occasionally they'd interrupt me and say, "You're kidding, right?"

I'd just smile and say "no" and move on. Must have driven some of them nuts at times.

 

[Keith]

I have trouble putting things to words sometimes.

 

[Pondering]

I'm actually in an acting class and have had lower acting scores at times than all the other normal people because I misinterpret the scene or monologue. The modulation and speech pattern is incorrect to the words apparently. Same thing in everyday life. I talk really quietly and in a monotonous voice. Its just what's natural for me. But I do know how to change the inflection in my tone accurately sometimes, about 50% of the time. Its hit and miss. I've been scolded more times than I can count for incorrect tone being mistaken for attitude or mean. It has helped quite a bit to take acting class and be able to pass off as neurotypical when I really need to.

 

[Suzanne]

I can be very sarcastic and it is usually when I sense stupidity and mind blowing prejudice.

An example: a Belgium man who lives in France and who is a dr, and came to see us, who lived in the country. He spots my husband's telescope and said: you have stars here? Like in this really surprised manner and I was so in sensed and said back: wow, yes and guess what? The sun even shines here! He is an NT and my sarcasm flew past him, because of his self important attitude. I have learned how to do this, and yep take full advantage. Especially when nts think I am not being sarcastic lol

 

[Keith]

I've seldom have moments where I feel like being sarcastic. I have, however, had moments where I need to translate my video games or TV shows into layman speak. However, I get caught up in the canon and forget I might be boring or annoying everyone. I have a classmate in this adult education program for people on the spectrum and he can't stop talking about his superheroes or whatever, and I've realized I have those moments at times (he, on the other hand, has them constantly and cannot realize he is annoying everyone). In class, each month we create lists of things to work on for that month. I should choose this problem next time.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Yes, this. I've even had this happen over email, so I think it must have at least as much to do with my word choice as tone of voice.

Aye, like "hon" and "sweetie", those automatically go on the snarky list.

 

[Spiller]

Aye, like "hon" and "sweetie", those automatically go on the snarky list.

I'm gonna be right on your snarky list for admitting that I use those words (actually, Hon and Sweet) when I text women I consider friends..
If a woman's texting me, she must already be!

 

[Lyss]

I'm not sure if I might be too late for this conversation but I just wanted to offer my own experiences up, because they seem to be fairly different from what this thread consists of. Or maybe they're not so different?
I grew up in a very sarcastic household, so sarcasm has actually become my go-to for most conversations even if I'm perhaps talking to someone whom I should not be sarcastic with. I find that I'm able to deliver sarcastic responses very well and I greatly enjoy the confusion NTs express when they aren't sure of my meaning (perhaps I am a bit vindictive in that I like seeing them 'in my shoes' for once).
But beyond my purposeful misdirections, I do find my sincerity being misinterpreted fairly often, and I can almost feel myself becoming 'wooden' when someone starts a conversation that I had not been expecting and I'm sure that just fuels the misunderstanding further. Probably doesn't help that I have 'resting *****-face' syndrome.