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Should I tell my friends or not?

Alexis C

Active Member
Hi im 18 and just diagnosed as a aspies few months ago.
I have always known im different from others so being diagnosed is actually a relief for me and also an answer to my questions and confusions.
Although i got my ans, ever since i got diagnosed, i always struggled to whether tell my friends about my condition

I told some of my closest friends and they are completely fine about it.
But whenever i meet new ppl, i dont know whether i should tell them in the beginning or just tell them later as we are getting closer or even never.

Currently im working as a sale assistant in a clothing store and i made some fds there. They are friendly,understanding and fun. And i think they can be my closest friends for years to come. However, i know my symtoms are starting to show and its pretty obvious that they know sth is off with me.
I feel like im lying to them and somehow it make me feel uncomfortable by not saying anything about it.

If i were to live in a more open minded society, i wouldnt hesitate to tell my friends about it. Yet i live in hk, an international city where ppl living in it are still so ignorant,narrow minded and discriminative about ppl with mental issues.

I wanna be honest with them so they can know sometimes when im being weird, its cuz of ASD and its completely ok.
But i dont know if thats a right thing to do, to confess sth this personal to ppl i barely know.
 
I don't even have to think about this one. I'm an NT and I say tell the people that you have an ongoing relationship with - work, friends, family. Tell them what symptoms they may see in you at certain times. I believe communication is going to be the biggest problem. I, as an NT, am pretty understandable about that kind of thing. Even knowing what I know now, I still have a problem with Aspie bluntness. Me being "Miss Etiquette", sometimes interpret it as rudeness when the Aspie person does not mean it to be that way. If I encounter any rudeness in a person, it automatically turns me off - unless I know they are an Aspie. :)
 
I think it depends on how you feel about your coworkers, and how comfortable you are with revealing this information to others. I don't think you should feel compelled to tell them. Wait until you're ready.
 
Given the varying responses I've received within my own social circle, I've come to the conclusion that I'd likely tell anyone else at this point strictly on a need-to-know basis.

If your traits and behaviors have no negative impact on your job performance there's no overt reason to be compelled to tell co-workers. As Ereth says, give it some time. Think about it.
 
I'm rethinking after what Ereth and Judge said. On telling people at work, they're probably right about that - prob best to keep that more "business". I still think the same with friends and family because you want a "safe haven" to be able to retreat to for when you have a bad day and need some understanding.
 
First off,Welcome to AC Alexis :)

The advice you received is pretty sound and on the mark.

Unless you become disruptive or annoying,keep it to yourself until you feel it is necessary,many will not see it in a positive way.

Defining it as a mental disorder is not proper either,you just have a different brain,not a broken one.

Many individuals in the spectrum become the ones who improve the world,not hinder it...you will face challenges,but as any person,you will overcome them in time as you learn how to deal with them. Being an Aspie who better understands herself will give you an advantage when the time comes to tell others...find out what you are then become who you want to be... ;)
 
First of all, thx for giving me the advice everyone. I really needed opinions from different sides to see if i should tell my friends[emoji4]
Sadly, im still not very comfy about telling them my condition but i think i can do it eventually
Thx again for the advice[emoji5][emoji5][emoji5][emoji106]
 
One thing to keep in mind when telling people is your status. If you are in a reasonable position of power you can tell people things and not have any significant problems. Think of the difference between telling your manager or your manager telling you something comparable about themself.

If you are in a position to safely blog about being an Aspie then it's good to educate the general community (as I do), but not everyone is in that position.

Finally if friends already notice you are different then you may as well tell them. But it's more difficult when it comes to friend/colleague relationships.
 

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