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If you actually believe that, then they are not real friends. Real friends accept you as you are. You shouldn't have to keep "secrets" about yourself with real friends.
Not a single person thinks I'm not qualified to do my job; actually just the opposite. I am the person they come to for quality checking all outgoing work. In fact, when I disclosed my AS my boss understood now how I was able to be so thorough with details. Our customers request me to do work. AS is a curse and a blessing. I've been doing this job for 16 years. I'm not concerned about it ever biting me in the butt since I also work from home. My reason for disclosing was because we had a new boss who had never met me before. I spoke with my immediate supervisor who I had know for while and felt it would be wise so the new boss didn't have any misconceptions after our introduction. Worked in my favor since the new boss has a child that was diagnosed with AS less than 6 months ago. Many of our phone calls end up being about his son and helping him understand what's going on. He had never heard of it before. I believe it's all in how you handle yourself in the workplace. I'm super nice but....odd. I've met others who act like they are cursed and life is terrible with AS and they don't other to try to help themselves or others around them to even understand what's happening. Having a meltdown in the break romo and throwing tables and chairs will get you fired and people having a negative viewpoint of AS.I agree coming out to your friends and being honest, but I think bringing out that you are Aspie at work might end up biting you in the butt. I can understand you wishing that people were more patient and understanding, but some might think that you are then not qualified for your job and can't pull your weight - including your boss. Just a thought.
I agree, but it's not always a choice between bad friends and good friends; sometimes it's a choice between bad friends or none at all. And, in my experience at least, keeping secrets hurts a lot less than being alone.
I was a long time getting to that point, and I completely understand not being able to. And yes, the first few times probably did happen in the midst of anger and frustration. And maybe I just got fed up with the inefficiencies that anger and frustration brings into any interaction, and try to forestall whenever possible. Mostly been in medical situations so far, dealing with lab techs etc., but starting to spill over into general situations - shopping or whatever.Interesting. I guess I'm just not there yet...to tell a total stranger of being autistic. I almost did not too long ago, but it would have been purely out of anger and frustration...not as any kind of "olive branch".
I actually completely agree with you! I guess I always sort of figured having paperwork would be validating in some way despite how much I hate psychiatry. I have a couple friends with kids on the spectrum and it bothers me the way they treat their kids like they are disabled.. It's absolutely not a disability. And I like being able to see the world differently. For the most part.I don't have a diagnosis either because I think diagnoses and psychiatry in general are are a fraud and "mental illness" is a pseudomedical term to stigmatize and punish socially disapproved traits of character. I just tell people I have a "thing" going on that people call autism and it's actually pretty awesome. I think if you say it confidently people have a hard time criticizing you. Only retort I get is that I can't really be autistic because I'm high-functioning, can pass for normal when I need to and pay my taxes. Which pisses me off because the implicit assumption in that view is that autism is necessarily a mental illness and disability.
I've always been painfully introverted, but lately I've been telling people, when I'm in public situations and I realize that I'm reacting to things in an autistic way and things start to get awkward - "Sorry about my weirdness just now, but I'm autistic and I may not always react the way most people do." So far it's always gotten a good reaction and seems to dispel any tensions that may be building.
And I figure that the more of us that are able to show NTs that we're not so scarey, that we're pretty much like they are, that's got to help out all of us in the long run.
Some days I wonder if coming out openly would knock me down more toward the "broken Aspie" end of social perception and give me a reprieve. When I was a waitress, some of the diners would purposely wait until I walked by before asking for a refill because I had a good reputation of getting the job done. And a long list of other "super Aspie" encounters. @_@Not a single person thinks I'm not qualified to do my job; actually just the opposite. I am the person they come to for quality checking all outgoing work. ... Our customers request me to do work. AS is a curse and a blessing.
Is it better to keep your Asperger's a secret, or to let people know who you are