Hi everyone. I have never been officially diagnosed with Aspergers but I am fairly certain I have it. I am able to hide it quite well. I am 36 years old. I have very few people I would call friends. It seems like every time I meet someone, we hang out once and I never see or hear from them again. Sometimes if I beg them, they might hang out with me but I can sense I am only being tolerated. Most times, I get the "I'm busy" excuse if I get a reply at all. I know its not that they are too busy, they are too busy for me. I know my personality is annoying to most people. I actually met a guy who, like me, hasnt been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum but I am sure he is. I found him annoying. He was very friendly but he was extremely timid and awkward. He talked about nothing but politics. We made plans to see a movie but he didnt want to go when he found out I invited another friend. He had a bizarre sleep pattern. On weekends, he would sleep as late as 7 PM sometimes. It got to a point where I started seeing how others feel around me. I can see why people are so annoyed with those of us with aspergers. Anyone else have a similar experience? Like you want a whole different personality?
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New to the group
- Thread starter Txguy80
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Nice to meet you TxGuy80. Welcome to AC!
welcome shalom
Hi. Welcome to the group. I personally find great in most all persons, with exceptions if they are abusive, selfish, closed minded and arrogant, as those type of persons often admit no wrong and with no desire to take responsibility, change or get treatment.
I do not care if the others have quirks, different interests, limitations, needs, and other abilities different than I. I like understanding, learning from, supporting and appreciating many types of persons, as life involves dealing with many types of persons.
I rather talk to a very shy and awkward person that has fixated interests and needs, rather than talk to an extroverted person who has the same interests than I who is judgmental and critical of others. I mean, as acquaintances and friends I would welcome almost anyone, but for a long term relationship of course one needs compatibility on many levels.
Sabrina
Gentle & brave earthling
Everytime I see someone saying this, it reminds me of Finding Nemo, when Crush the turtle welcomes Martin to the EAC (East Australian Current) .
(This is one of those movies that I've seen many, many times, when my daughter was younger, only Nemo, on and on, for months).
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Tyrantus1212
An odd dinosaur. Yet a dinosaur.
'Lo TX Guy. I'm a Texan too, and welcome to AC! I've hardly ever had any friends throughout my life. I felt like I've never belonged anywhere and I too have that feeling that people just abandon me and I'm always afraid that whatever friends I might make, that they'd abandon me too. I feel like so many people just "tolerate" me as well, I'm a very frustrating person to deal with. I really am a nice guy despite the inner demons I'm fighting, and I hate it when people make excuses - especially the notorious B-Word ("busy"). I often feel like people are busy for me and it just kills me. Totally destroys my self-esteem, as if it hasn't been lousy already. I'm very much like Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory.
To be truthful, I've been pushing people away from me in college and have lost so many potential friends. I really wished I could have had a different personality because people always thought of me as annoying, obnoxious and just off-putting. I hate myself quite a lot and I often feel like my personality, stemming from my extremely severe anxieties as well as lack of social skills and common sense, is at the root of many of my struggles. I feel like most people just tolerate me, sorry to be redundant. I really wish I met someone with Asperger's, or just someone who's my "mirror image" - because that would be one of the few types of people I wouldn't have a strained relationship with. Even those who care about me tend to get very frustrated by me, and that always frustrates me in turn, makes me feel really bad about myself - sometimes bringing me into a total meltdown; and whenever I have those, it's NOT pretty at all.
I did meet a few people who appreciate me for who I am, and I constantly worry about potentially pushing them away from me. I'm really bad at hiding my Asperger's (except for a few qualities, like the meltdowns), so I feel like I'm at an even greater risk of pushing people away. Each time we don't communicate for several days I just keep having this paranoia contaminate my mind that they don't want to be friends anymore. It's a miracle I managed to make friends in the first place, and it's only over the past couple of years. I'm almost 30 now, and losing them would just totally crush me.
Having that "mirror image" type of friend would be a dream come true, even if they were annoying; we'd be annoying each other lol but that bond would never break. Hey, I'd advise that you keep this friend you've met. If you go out with other friends, invite him along too! I always get very jealous when my friends do things with others but not me as well. We Aspies might seem "awkward" but we always mean well even if we might not always show it properly. See where this journey takes you, spend some more time with him! Get to know him better.
I hope I end up with a healthy level of self-esteem one day. I've improved slightly since college, but there's still so much to cover. My psychologist and I are working together on that, for now mostly covering anxieties and social skills. He recommended that I join an online community for Aspies, and here I am! Being a member of this lovely community has done me so much good, so you've most definitely come to the right place. So many wonderful people on here whom I can relate to. I'm still aiming to improve a lot of things about myself, personality included - and I feel like my therapy sessions and this very community of course are gonna be excellent guidance systems for that process.
Jet Weiss
Incurably Weird
Welcome!
I sometimes do wish I had a different personality, although it is not because I am an Aspie, rather it is because most people find me very annoying to be around and communicate with.
As others in this thread have said, I find people on the spectrum much more pleasant to be around than (some, not all) NTs.
I am aware of my annoying personality traits and I do try my best to curb them in social situations.
I sometimes do wish I had a different personality, although it is not because I am an Aspie, rather it is because most people find me very annoying to be around and communicate with.
As others in this thread have said, I find people on the spectrum much more pleasant to be around than (some, not all) NTs.
I am aware of my annoying personality traits and I do try my best to curb them in social situations.
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