Mixing up words in a sentence

[Jumpinbare]

Agree, a NT told me what (IMO) is the best explanation of NTs although he was framing it as an explanation of how hearing people work - they interact with each other like they might interact with a dog. A dog cares about the tone of your voice, not your words. That’s why politicians’ speeches literally have no substance but can be hailed as great.

Most family pet dogs pick up about 300 or so words. You can watch their confusion when you say a "want to go for a walk" in a harsh tone, or "do you want a bath?" as if it were a treat, showing that they understand both tone as well as actual words, but they don't do well with contradictory speech.

 

[Levitator]

Agree, a NT told me what (IMO) is the best explanation of NTs although he was framing it as an explanation of how hearing people work - they interact with each other like they might interact with a dog. A dog cares about the tone of your voice, not your words. That’s why politicians’ speeches literally have no substance but can be hailed as great.

Well, let's not get down on all hearing people
It's true, though, that seems to be how most people behave, and if you smile winsomely and go "We're going to eject all the brown people! Yes we are! That's a good boy! Now vote! Vote!". They do it.

 

[Tired]

they interact with each other like they might interact with a dog.

I am NT, and it's just part of the way we talk to people, in the end its just a collection of all the things. To understand someone in the best possible way, of course it's easier to see the whole picture - body language, intonation, face grimaces, voice tone etc. But it doesn't mean that we can't or don't want to understand a person who doesn't do all that at once. At least I can say that foe myself. I'm an inquisitive person, and I will just ask questions if I don't understand something, that's what I kind of expect from others too - to just communicate however we can with one another without judgement.

 

[jsilver256]

Well, let's not get down on all hearing people
It's true, though, that seems to be how most people behave, and if you smile winsomely and go "We're going to eject all the brown people! Yes we are! That's a good boy! Now vote! Vote!". They do it.

To be fair, it's just as bad with deaf people. Facial expressions, body language, hand inflection etc are all important modifiers and they always complain mine don't match the actual signs. But you're rarely looking into the eyes because you're watching hands, so there's that.

 

[Levitator]

I am NT, and it's just part of the way we talk to people, in the end its just a collection of all the things. To understand someone in the best possible way, of course it's easier to see the whole picture - body language, intonation, face grimaces, voice tone etc. But it doesn't mean that we can't or don't want to understand a person who doesn't do all that at once. At least I can say that foe myself. I'm an inquisitive person, and I will just ask questions if I don't understand something, that's what I kind of expect from others too - to just communicate however we can with one another without judgement.

It's entirely a compliment when I say that you don't look so typical to me.

 

[Levitator]

To be fair, it's just as bad with deaf people. Facial expressions, body language, hand inflection etc are all important modifiers and they always complain mine don't match the actual signs. But you're rarely looking into the eyes because you're watching hands, so there's that.

I do notice deaf people tend to use very exaggerated facial expressions when signing, but that can actually be an advantage, since now you're bringing deliberation or intentionality into it, so it's no longer seen as awkward, at least not among your peers. I get the impression that that's the main thing that puts people off from the autistic; that they are either off in space, or doing everything piecemeal and with conscious effort.

 

[Levitator]

I do notice deaf people tend to use very exaggerated facial expressions when signing, but that can actually be an advantage, since now you're bringing deliberation or intentionality into it, so it's no longer seen as awkward, at least not among your peers. I get the impression that that's the main thing that puts people off from the autistic; that they are either off in space, or doing everything piecemeal and with conscious effort.

Well, anyway, that was going to be my theory, but I guess I would be contradicting you and you would know better. It could be they still think you're weird because you stay awkward on some other level, and that's basically the point where I tell everyone, deaf or not, just love yourself, and try to travel in circles that also need acceptance, so you don't have to do it alone.

 

[jsilver256]

Well, anyway, that was going to be my theory, but I guess I would be contradicting you and you would know better. It could be they still think you're weird because you stay awkward on some other level, and that's basically the point where I tell everyone, deaf or not, just love yourself, and try to travel in circles that also need acceptance, so you don't have to do it alone.

Well, it's true it's part of the sign language "grammar" to have exaggerated facial responses, but it's not really something I can do "fluently" - something's always off about how I do it. I would guess the hearing equivalent would be having proper intonation vs. being monotone.

I was somewhat bullied when younger by the Deaf community, but we've gotten more chill with time/maturity. Even more smooth since I've been open with the ASD diagnosis. Lots of cormobid conditions in the Deaf community so there's no ableism there. The only bad part is that for whatever reason, my local Deaf group tends to be super adventurous (compensation, maybe?) so I can't go to Burning Man or whatever, but I am at least entertained by the stories at the meetups.

It's a big commitment, but if you are interested in the Deaf community, you can register for sign language classes and these will eventually send you out to the meetups to practice your signing. I've known plenty of couples who met through these meetups.

 

[vergil96]

Is autism frequent in the deaf community? I'm asking because being hard of hearing is something I've read about as a part of autism, but not as a result of phisical problems with the ear but the way the brain processes sound that makes it hard to understand speech. I'm experiencing that to a degree and a few of my family members, but to a smaller degree.

 

[Jumpinbare]

To be fair, it's just as bad with deaf people. Facial expressions, body language, hand inflection etc are all important modifiers and they always complain mine don't match the actual signs. But you're rarely looking into the eyes because you're watching hands, so there's that.

At St Rita's School, my supervisor told me that the kids really liked me because "his face never changes". Go figure. I had thought I was being very expressive, but apparently not my face.

my local Deaf group tends to be super adventurous (compensation, maybe?) so I can't go to Burning Man or whatever, but I am at least entertained by the stories at the meetups.

I had plans to do burning man last year. Fortunately, I started reading accounts by attendees, and watching videos. It would have been a sensory nightmare! I was fine with setting up camp out in the flat desert, but not with tens of thousands of people!

 

[jsilver256]

Is autism frequent in the deaf community? I'm asking because being hard of hearing is something I've read about as a part of autism, but not as a result of phisical problems with the ear but the way the brain processes sound that makes it hard to understand speech. I'm experiencing that to a degree and a few of my family members, but to a smaller degree.

Oh, that's quite interesting. Might explain why the cochlear implant was a failure in me while it's a success in other deaf people.

A Google search does show the prevalence of autism is higher with D/HH people, but I haven't met other deaf ASD people. HOWEVER... I mostly hang out with other deaf engineers, and they seem much more NT than the general engineering population, but "deaf engineers" is a highly filtered and self-selecting sub-group in the first place.

I had plans to do burning man last year. Fortunately, I started reading accounts by attendees, and watching videos. It would have been a sensory nightmare! I was fine with setting up camp out in the flat desert, but not with tens of thousands of people!

Oh yeah Burning Man is for tech bros who like to pretend they're naturalists! The projects there are insane, as well as drug use etc. My friends plan to build a wooden roller coaster (yes, an actual functional roller coaster) one year.

 

[Mary Terry]

Oh, that's quite interesting. Might explain why the cochlear implant was a failure in me while it's a success in other deaf people.

A Google search does show the prevalence of autism is higher with D/HH people, but I haven't met other deaf ASD people. HOWEVER... I mostly hang out with other deaf engineers, and they seem much more NT than the general engineering population, but "deaf engineers" is a highly filtered and self-selecting sub-group in the first place.



Oh yeah Burning Man is for tech bros who like to pretend they're naturalists! The projects there are insane, as well as drug use etc. My friends plan to build a wooden roller coaster (yes, an actual functional roller coaster) one year.

I've read that cochlear implants may be helpful to babies and children and of little or no benefit to deaf adults. My sister considered getting one, but after reading about them and talking to adults who actually have them, decided it wasn't a good fit for her.

There are many different reasons for deafness. My sister was born deaf because our mother had rubella when she was three months pregnant, before there was a vaccination for rubella. It was severe trauma in utero to her when she was fetus, due to the virus and fever. She has two hearing children, both adults now. But sometimes deafness is hereditary or genetic or results from trauma after birth.

I remember the sea of mud at Burning Man last year. No thanks!