Suiseiseki
I can't feel the back of my eyes
I've never heard of logic backed by feelings before, that seems terribly un-AS to me.
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Dear Nisik, Roy,
Thanks so much for your helpful comments.
Roy, so much that you say rings true. She doesn't seem to hear things that are said or quickly forgets them. She has chronic single focus. She is also extremely sensitive. She will fight with me and say terrible things but in her eyes she isn't fighting; I'm the one who is fighting by maintaining my innocence. I am not aggressive but she behaves and speaks to me as though I'm always starting fights with her (she starts them by accusing me of saying, doing, or meaning things of which I'm innocent). She's really sensitive - you have to either soak it up and not react (which makes her lose all respect for you) or maintain your innocence (which drives her to become more abusive and to maintain that you're a dreadful man who starts all these fights). She can't take gentle comments but feels she's under attack. On one occasion i asked if she would like to go shopping to which she replied that she had no money. "Me neither," I replied and we drove home. I endured hours of passive aggressive silent treatment before she finally burst into tears and told me how awful I was for accusing her of spending all my money. When I protested that I had never said such a thing she then catalogued all the other times when id supposedly said this to her - all due to her hyper sensitivity. I hugged her but nothing changed - she was convinced i had said this.
It's an abusive relationship, you are right. Whatever it is is bigger than aspergers but at least I have a place to start. When she's not being abusive she is an incredible woman. But abusive she certainly is.
Dear Nisik, Roy,
Thanks so much for your helpful comments.
Roy, so much that you say rings true. She doesn't seem to hear things that are said or quickly forgets them. She has chronic single focus. She is also extremely sensitive. She will fight with me and say terrible things but in her eyes she isn't fighting; I'm the one who is fighting by maintaining my innocence. I am not aggressive but she behaves and speaks to me as though I'm always starting fights with her (she starts them by accusing me of saying, doing, or meaning things of which I'm innocent). She's really sensitive - you have to either soak it up and not react (which makes her lose all respect for you) or maintain your innocence (which drives her to become more abusive and to maintain that you're a dreadful man who starts all these fights). She can't take gentle comments but feels she's under attack. On one occasion i asked if she would like to go shopping to which she replied that she had no money. "Me neither," I replied and we drove home. I endured hours of passive aggressive silent treatment before she finally burst into tears and told me how awful I was for accusing her of spending all my money. When I protested that I had never said such a thing she then catalogued all the other times when id supposedly said this to her - all due to her hyper sensitivity. I hugged her but nothing changed - she was convinced i had said this.
It's an abusive relationship, you are right. Whatever it is is bigger than aspergers but at least I have a place to start. When she's not being abusive she is an incredible woman. But abusive she certainly is.