Love to move on but where?

[Aura Todd]

I have just spent two weeks in Cornwall and now I am back in Salisbury feeling very low. Every year I visit Newquay, and I’m very reluctant to leave.

I can immediately see the comparisons between the two places, life is slower in Cornwall and I had a brief glimpse of the life I would love to have. Here things are a little overwhelming with people wanting things done as quickly as possible, there is too much back stabbing going on as it’s also too petrol fumy not like the clean fresh sea air you get.

I live in a council flat and I’d like to do a council swap one day to Devon which is similar to Cornwall. I’d need a car to drive around Cornwall which I don’t have, but then Cornwall isn’t far away so If something was going on I could get the bus or train.

I’ve tried talking to people about this, but I feel some of them don’t listen to me or take me all that seriously. I got annoyed with one bloke who runs a cafe who claimed ‘life must be like a holiday for you, because your on benefits’ NO IT BLOODY ISN’T!

I often get the third degree from retired people who live in Salisbury who say that ‘I think the grass is greener on the other side, I won’t know anyone, we’d all like to live near the sea, blah de bloody blah…’ Whatever! It’s alright for them, they’ve done all they want with their lives, I’m not ready for my pipe and slippers yet. One lady I know has tried making me join a walking group thinking it would encourage me to stay, I’m not really interested and infact my worst nightmare would be to still be in this city as an old woman trapped wondering what would have happened.

I’ve wielded up the pros and cons and it’s not something I’m going to rush into. My parents are still alive, once they are gone I’ll have no more family left in Salisbury. I love them dearly but I’ve had issue’s with their arguing, I have to shout when I talk to them as they are both deaf. They’ve never taken much notice of me when I was at school, even the teachers noticed how distant they were. My parents have good hearts but they are set in their ways, I cant imagine life without them.

I awoke up at 3am this morning and the first thing I noticed was the silence which was a bit unsettling. I’ve done this a couple of times in Newquay and have always heard gulls muttering, not tonight which slammed home how far away I was from the coast.

Some of the area's I'm interested in are;

Westwood Ho
Paignton
Woolacoom bay
Totness (but may be a bit in land)
Brixham
Barnastable

I’ve never liked where I am and wish to go.

Has anyone else moved, if so how did it go?

 

[Momo]

I've heard the moon is very nice, lots of land and pretty quite, you know, the whole no one can hear you scream in space thing. China wants to build a nice getaway base there so it must be good!

But American realestate? If it is America. I'm at a loss.
As for moving, I do it often. It usually goes well for me, I like having a fresh start. But then again, I've been towed around the four corners of the world before I could even walk, so it's not really a big deal for me.

 

[Aura Todd]

Hi that's not really answering my question, but thanks anyway.

 

[Momo]

Hi that's not really answering my question, but thanks anyway.

Sorry, I can be pretty useless at times.

 

[Ambi]

I've moved a bunch of times - it was fine every time, and I learned and had new experiences every time. That's a highly individual experience though - for example, I never even had a single misgiving about it to begin with, and I was surrounded by people for whom it was perfectly normal and expected that you might move several times in your life, not just around the country, but even around the world. I don't know how the experience would be for someone who isn't used to that idea already. There's lots of changes and adaptations you'll have to make in each new area. You need solid work in the new location first, though.

 

[Momo]

I've moved a bunch of times - it was fine every time, and I learned and new experiences every time. That's a highly individual experience though - for example, I never even had a single misgiving about it to begin with, and I was surrounded by people for whom it was perfectly normal and expected that you might move several times in your life, not just around the country, but even around the world. You need solid work in the new location first, though.

It's better advice than my moon comment...

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Hello. Yes, we have moved. We are not in the U.K., so cannot comment on those places. We love the silence. The last place in the US we lived was in a very quiet and relaxing country mountain/valley environment, in an agricultural district too. But, then we had someone build a home directly across from us. They then built a barn, moved in several animals, and several roosters. We love animals, but we do not appreciate being awakened every 5am, and seeing cows keep getting loose and graze on our lawn.

So, we moved to another state about twelve hours away. We wanted to move anyway to a more homeschooling friendly state. We searched online real estate listings in two states we were considering to live. We visited the numerous homes for sale in those states we thought were possibilities, but all but one we ruled out because of neighbors, the condition of the home, or poor road leading to the home. The one home we really liked though had a pending sale, so we gave up hope.

So, we returned to our home, and were awaiting for a buyer of that. Eventually we found a buyer within two months, as I fixed and cleaned that place to perfection. Then my wife started to worry though, as we had to find a home to live soon. We started over in researching online for homes in those two states. Nothing seemed doable, until we found again that home we liked that we knew was now not for sale. I wrote to the realtor asking why he still had that house on their realtor listing, when the realtor I just called by phone said it was definitely not available.

The realtor I spoke to by email said he was having problems with that prospective buyer, in that guy was disputing one of the subdivision provisions about the home owner being responsible for the snow plowing of the private road. Over the next two weeks I kept emailing that realtor, saying we really loved everything about that home, and the location, and we would be glad to buy it, if that sale ever fell through, telling him our home sold, and we would have those sales proceeds funds in a few months.

The realtor writes me back saying, "That buyer is out; you are in." By this he meant, he trusted me more than that other guy, in not creating problems, and in me following through on the sale. With his approval, after I signed the purchase contract, we completely renovated the inside of that home first, and with all new furniture and appliances, carpeting, painting, doors, and fixtures, despite that home still not being ours. He told us there would be a gamble in doing this, as the home was still not officially ours, but we said we did not care, as we wanted that home.

The rest is history. Two months later we used the house proceeds from the sale of our other home to close on the new home. The twelve hour larger truck drive a few days before Christmas during very wintry weather was the worst part, and a bit uncomfortable, as our two children with needs came along, during this ride, too, but we started to dream of better things to come and a new life. The home was located in a semi-wooded environment, and with no chance of a neighbor moving next to us on each side or across from us because of the environment layout. Everything we love about the home, land environment, and nearby lake community. It was the best move decision we ever made.

 

[Maiki]

I’ve wielded up the pros and cons and it’s not something I’m going to rush into. My parents are still alive, once they are gone I’ll have no more family left in Salisbury. I love them dearly but I’ve had issue’s with their arguing, I have to shout when I talk to them as they are both deaf. They’ve never taken much notice of me when I was at school, even the teachers noticed how distant they were. My parents have good hearts but they are set in their ways, I cant imagine life without them.


I’ve never liked where I am and wish to go.

Has anyone else moved, if so how did it go?[/QUOTE]

Hello there!
I live in Canada, so am not familiar with the places you listed as possibilities. The place names sound quaint and quirky--alliteration-- in a good way. I am an Aspie girl married for many years to an NT 'manly outdoorsy' type. Opposites do sometimes attract... we have 3 children. I have relocated 7 or 8 times during my life. Since being the one instigating the move myself, I've taken the plunge 5 times. The choice of location has been made: out of work/ school necessity, with consideration of where family are currently. I have not always been able to move at the time that I wanted to go due to obligations and responsibilities.
Each and every time I have relocated, I have made the choice of neighbourhood and home almost entirely on how it feels to me when I'm there. My intuition about whether there is a 'good vibe'-- some would say a 'good energy', and whether it gives me a warm, safe feeling; whether it feels like home has always been the deciding factor. There are numerous randomized controlled studies that indicate once a person has committed fully to a big decision (i.e. buying a house or car, relocating), psychological changes in the brain reinforce and support that choice, promoting positive feelings about the choice we've made, and actually cushioning the blow for us if it ends up being a grand mistake.
I have experienced this phenomenon myself. The key is not to over-analyze the main decision. Go with what 'feels right' to you. Once you are committed to that choice, do as much planning, preparing, listing, organizing, researching, etc. as you wish to help it unfold in the way you desire.

 

[Judge]

After I lost my mother I came to the conclusion that despite being a longtime resident of California, that I had nothing left there. Indeed for all the many years I lived in various places there, I never felt "at home". As if I was a foreigner in my own land.

After completing all the tasks relative to my mother's estate, I chose to move to Northern Nevada where one of my few remaining cousins lived who I've known since childhood. Moving itself is seldom easy. So many things to be done and organized. However I did it, and never looked back.

Still, yes- it amounted to a literal "leap of faith". But sometimes in life you just have to take a chance to end a "status quo" existence.

I've never felt so at home with a very different environment. Going from classic suburbia in the SF Bay Area to the desert and mountains of Northern Nevada. I love the desolate landscape, and indeed life operates as a somewhat slower pace here as well. Taking a chance in moving was worth it. Not to mention having a less expensive cost of living in Nevada.

 

[toothless]

I have just spent two weeks in Cornwall and now I am back in Salisbury feeling very low. Every year I visit Newquay, and I’m very reluctant to leave.

I can immediately see the comparisons between the two places, life is slower in Cornwall and I had a brief glimpse of the life I would love to have. Here things are a little overwhelming with people wanting things done as quickly as possible, there is too much back stabbing going on as it’s also too petrol fumy not like the clean fresh sea air you get.

I live in a council flat and I’d like to do a council swap one day to Devon which is similar to Cornwall. I’d need a car to drive around Cornwall which I don’t have, but then Cornwall isn’t far away so If something was going on I could get the bus or train.

I’ve tried talking to people about this, but I feel some of them don’t listen to me or take me all that seriously. I got annoyed with one bloke who runs a cafe who claimed ‘life must be like a holiday for you, because your on benefits’ NO IT BLOODY ISN’T!

I often get the third degree from retired people who live in Salisbury who say that ‘I think the grass is greener on the other side, I won’t know anyone, we’d all like to live near the sea, blah de bloody blah…’ Whatever! It’s alright for them, they’ve done all they want with their lives, I’m not ready for my pipe and slippers yet. One lady I know has tried making me join a walking group thinking it would encourage me to stay, I’m not really interested and infact my worst nightmare would be to still be in this city as an old woman trapped wondering what would have happened.

I’ve wielded up the pros and cons and it’s not something I’m going to rush into. My parents are still alive, once they are gone I’ll have no more family left in Salisbury. I love them dearly but I’ve had issue’s with their arguing, I have to shout when I talk to them as they are both deaf. They’ve never taken much notice of me when I was at school, even the teachers noticed how distant they were. My parents have good hearts but they are set in their ways, I cant imagine life without them.

I awoke up at 3am this morning and the first thing I noticed was the silence which was a bit unsettling. I’ve done this a couple of times in Newquay and have always heard gulls muttering, not tonight which slammed home how far away I was from the coast.

Some of the area's I'm interested in are;

Westwood Ho
Paignton
Woolacoom bay
Totness (but may be a bit in land)
Brixham
Barnastable

I’ve never liked where I am and wish to go.

Has anyone else moved, if so how did it go?

for some reason i thought you were in ireland.
i think you should go for it,you sound serious, just plan every little detail first.
do you get support/care? if so,that needs to be looked at in case the area you want to go to is low in suitable care companies.
do you want to go to any support groups? if so,its worthwhile checking out if any are nearby,or start one yourself if you move there.

ignore what people say about people who cant work due to disability/people who live on benefits,they are ignorant and have never experienced hard times.
you do get lazy idiots on benefits who spend all their benefits on drugs and booze and this is where we get stereotyped,they think we are all like those fools on channel 5s sensationalist benefits tv shows.

 

[Alaska]

I have just spent two weeks in Cornwall and now I am back in Salisbury feeling very low. Every year I visit Newquay, and I’m very reluctant to leave.

I can immediately see the comparisons between the two places, life is slower in Cornwall and I had a brief glimpse of the life I would love to have. Here things are a little overwhelming with people wanting things done as quickly as possible, there is too much back stabbing going on as it’s also too petrol fumy not like the clean fresh sea air you get.

I live in a council flat and I’d like to do a council swap one day to Devon which is similar to Cornwall. I’d need a car to drive around Cornwall which I don’t have, but then Cornwall isn’t far away so If something was going on I could get the bus or train.

I’ve tried talking to people about this, but I feel some of them don’t listen to me or take me all that seriously. I got annoyed with one bloke who runs a cafe who claimed ‘life must be like a holiday for you, because your on benefits’ NO IT BLOODY ISN’T!

I often get the third degree from retired people who live in Salisbury who say that ‘I think the grass is greener on the other side, I won’t know anyone, we’d all like to live near the sea, blah de bloody blah…’ Whatever! It’s alright for them, they’ve done all they want with their lives, I’m not ready for my pipe and slippers yet. One lady I know has tried making me join a walking group thinking it would encourage me to stay, I’m not really interested and infact my worst nightmare would be to still be in this city as an old woman trapped wondering what would have happened.

I’ve wielded up the pros and cons and it’s not something I’m going to rush into. My parents are still alive, once they are gone I’ll have no more family left in Salisbury. I love them dearly but I’ve had issue’s with their arguing, I have to shout when I talk to them as they are both deaf. They’ve never taken much notice of me when I was at school, even the teachers noticed how distant they were. My parents have good hearts but they are set in their ways, I cant imagine life without them.

I awoke up at 3am this morning and the first thing I noticed was the silence which was a bit unsettling. I’ve done this a couple of times in Newquay and have always heard gulls muttering, not tonight which slammed home how far away I was from the coast.

Some of the area's I'm interested in are;

Westwood Ho
Paignton
Woolacoom bay
Totness (but may be a bit in land)
Brixham
Barnastable

I’ve never liked where I am and wish to go.

Has anyone else moved, if so how did it go?

Hi Aura. I moved from California to Alaska and it was really worth having to start over with almost nothing. I went through a lot of very hard stuff when I got here too, and it was still worth it.

 

[Alaska]

Hi again Aura. I did visit the UK. Another couple of places you might like are Skye and the Scottish islands that go up towards Norway.

It is pretty awful how disabled people can sometimes be treated in parts of the UK, since some people blame their financial difficulties on us. I even had a woman ram my shopping cart one time, without even bothering to find out whether I lived there. I did not see this sort of behavior in less populated areas.

Perth is quite peaceful and I loved seeing the steam train coming towards the station as the sun was setting and lights went on as the stars came out. It is not near the ocean, so if you need to be near the ocean, it won't work.

Researching the logistics necessary to your move will keep your spirits up, until your parents are gone and you can actually move.

 

[Aura Todd]

Thanks for your replies.

The place names sound quaint and quirky

It is, have you ever watched the TV series Poldark? The sea is so blue and it’s like being in another country in summer. I will have to visit the area’s in winter through.

for some reason I thought you were in Ireland.

I’ve only been there once, very green and rains a lot.

do you get support/care?

I am in an aspbergers support group, so this is something I would have to look for. I’m also in my local camera club too and a ladies group.

Only been back in town a few days and already some brute delibertately barged into me in the street knocking me over into the road. Salisbury is just really unfriendly, I shouted at him but he just walked off, and people wonder why I want to go!

Skye is lovely senary, but I’m afraid much too cold for me. Devon and Cornwall have their own climate