Losing yet another friend?

[Tony Ramirez]

The reason why I return to thinking about my life being over in my 30’s is because my situation is considered highly unusual. Most people in my age range are married or at least in long term dating relationships, have children, have careers or at least hobbies they can excel at, and have strong friendship networks. Even people younger than me by ten or more years are ahead of me in terms of social progress. I take disappointments and setbacks very hard since time is running out for me.

I know about three or four men and woman your age that are single. A few woman older than you that are single. So no it's not highly unusual. It's quite common.

 

[Jonn]

I know about three or four men and woman your age that are single. A few woman older than you that are single. So no it's not highly unusual. It's quite common.

Especially for those on the spectrum, unfortunately.

What exacerbates the problem for ppl who want a female partner is that many women prefer to be single when they get older.

In Japan, many women prefer their careers over starting a family, which is causing a population decline.

 

[Markness]

What exacerbates the problem for ppl who want a female partner is that many women prefer to be single when they get older.

Not for my mother. She can’t bear the idea of being old and unmarried. She’s currently on her fourth marriage.

 

[Markness]

I feel as if I missed a chance to make a new friend today.

 

[Sasha22]

I try to make any such event a learning opportunity as quick as I can

 

[Markness]

I try to make any such event a learning opportunity as quick as I can

I worry that eventually these chances will run out for good.

 

[tree]

I worry that eventually these chances will run out for good.

That's true.

You do focus on the side of loss, rather
than viewing experiences as opportunities
for learning.

 

[Markness]

That's true.

You do focus on the side of loss, rather
than viewing experiences as opportunities
for learning.

Even when I was a child, I was told “You snooze, you lose!” and “Finders keepers, losers weepers!”

 

[tree]

So?

 

[Markness]

I also remember being told “There are only winners and losers!” and “Once a loser/failure, always a loser/failure!”

 

[tree]

And?

 

[Markness]

And?

How can I prove them wrong?

 

[tree]

Why would you need to do that?

You don't think they're observant enough to realize
the insufficiency of those concepts as a way to look at
life?

 

[Sasha22]

I also remember being told “There are only winners and losers!” and “Once a loser/failure, always a loser/failure!”

...and this is how earplugs were invented.

 

[Masked Man]

How can I prove them wrong?

Pretty sure we've already been over this. You have to be proactive. You seem to want to avoid making an actual effort. I am gathering that it's easier and more comfortable for you to do nothing, stay in your comfortable bubble, and then complain and seek sympathy because you're not getting anything you want.

All of these things "you've been told" are all now in the past. You are 35 years old. You are not being bullied by high school peers. And if you did (which I'm not doubting that you were), that was ~ 17+ years ago. You need to let it go. You're using it as a crutch to do nothing. Do you see that?

Have you made any effort at moving out of your mother's house? If you want to "prove them wrong" you are going to have to get proactive about it. No one is going to do it for you.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

"You can't win if you do not play"

 

[Masked Man]

"The true definition of a fool is one who does the same thing over and over yet expects a different result."

 

[Sasha22]

And since that's what I'm listening to, here are some pep talk lyrics from Judas Priest:

If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain
Listen, I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
You think I'll let it go you're mad
You got another thing comin'

 

[Markness]

And since that's what I'm listening to, here are some pep talk lyrics from Judas Priest:

If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain
Listen, I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
You think I'll let it go you're mad
You got another thing comin'

I don’t understand if this is meant to be advice for my mindset or if it’s critiquing my character.

 

[Masked Man]

I don’t understand if this is meant to be advice for my mindset or if it’s critiquing my character.

It's supposed to inspire you.

All you have to do is do a search on Judas Priest "Another Thing Coming." Per the Wikipedia article, Rob Halford says that the song is about "rising above issues or difficulties that come your way" (You've Got Another Thing Comin' - Wikipedia.)