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Losing yet another friend?

Tony Ramirez said:
At least you talked to someone you did not know. I still can't do that. I had many missed opportunity and I froze up, chickened out every single time in every situation.

I am only able to approach woman in structured small groups with people I know or if they come up to me.
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Tony that is a very common issue with many guys, they see woman as aliens believe me it is the same with many of them, but unfortunately society expect us guys to make the first move. IT takes a Lot of courage. if they make a mistake they have much more to lose. I've talked to many women believe me we are not that different; I should know took two them dancing last night. A women told me something years ago that really stuck with me women are picky about appearance for reasons you would not expect. use us guys deposit, women receive. that includes viruses and bacteria her advice keep your nails clean that what they look at to get an indication of your hygiene. So the onus is on you to look good. hence dress to impress, keep yourself in shape.
 
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Maybe she'd be interested to hear that you're going to
that concert soon.

Your acquaintance with her really amounts to a matter of
hours, though, so if neither of you maintain it, it wouldn't
be a huge surprise.
 
Hmm... moving to (presumably) another state out of the blue kind of sounds like a potential lie to burn bridges.

Sorry that happened to you, people can be jerks sometimes. Maybe you'll have more luck finding ND friends?
 
AngelWitch said:
Hmm... moving to (presumably) another state out of the blue kind of sounds like a potential lie to burn bridges.

Sorry that happened to you, people can be jerks sometimes. Maybe you'll have more luck finding ND friends?
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I struggle interacting with ND people, too.
 
AngelWitch said:
Hmm... moving to (presumably) another state out of the blue kind of sounds like a potential lie to burn bridges.

Sorry that happened to you, people can be jerks sometimes. Maybe you'll have more luck finding ND friends?
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I am a pariah even among ND people. I am even considered someone worthy of contempt.
 
The guy who is my partner now, is geeky, maybe woman wouldn't choose him. But l took time to know him. And now, l am now his number one fan. We love tennis, we love Asian restaurants, we love the beach.Disney world. We plan to live together shortly.
 
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Markness said:
I am a pariah even among ND people. I am even considered someone worthy of contempt.
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Mark, I’m going to wade into this as gently as I can…

Having seen you both here and WP for a very long time, I like you and I think you have cool interests even though metal music is totally not my thing.

That said, admittedly I am also someone who gets frustrated with you sometimes. The reactions you have to your situations are very valid (and part of the reason why I have not stopped rooting for you is I empathize with parts of your life to some degree). But while I definitely do think you put in a lot of effort to improve your life, I think there’s times you hit a tiny bump and then give up. You also repeat yourself a lot. I also don’t really understand how you keep returning to thinking your life is over in your 30s when that’s young in the grand scheme of things.

I really hope you don’t ever give up on going to music shows like you contemplated at one point if they make you happy. I think it’s a good way for you to find a partner, considering your brief success with Jennifer.
 
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Thought over my response after seeing Aspychata’s post.

I agree, and I have to keep in mind that depression can make you think things are hopeless even if they’re not. So I’m walking back two of my criticisms. But I’m standing by my first. Sorry Mark.
 
Aspychata said:
Honestly, it's quite normal for us to ruminate over wrong things. Forever. Lol
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It may be common, but it's not useful.

1689604856795.png


www.psychiatry.org

Rumination: A Cycle of Negative Thinking

Rumination involves repetitive thinking or dwelling on negative feelings and distress and their causes and consequences. The repetitive, negative aspect of rumination can contribute to the development of depression or anxiety and can worsen existing conditions.
www.psychiatry.org www.psychiatry.org
 
No it definitely isn't, but it's something we are very prone to do. Sometimes it motivates me to do something, or think out of the box. It explains some of the posts here. Do we as ND expect less work in finding a relationship, a job, a answer? Or do we give up sooner? Is it because we live in a NT world? These are the unknowns.
 
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Kitsuna said:
Mark, I’m going to wade into this as gently as I can…

Having seen you both here and WP for a very long time, I like you and I think you have cool interests even though metal music is totally not my thing.

That said, admittedly I am also someone who gets frustrated with you sometimes. The reactions you have to your situations are very valid (and part of the reason why I have not stopped rooting for you is I empathize with parts of your life to some degree). But while I definitely do think you put in a lot of effort to improve your life, I think there’s times you hit a tiny bump and then give up. You also repeat yourself a lot. I also don’t really understand how you keep returning to thinking your life is over in your 30s when that’s young in the grand scheme of things.

I really hope you don’t ever give up on going to music shows like you contemplated at one point if they make you happy. I think it’s a good way for you to find a partner, considering your brief success with Jennifer.
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The reason why I return to thinking about my life being over in my 30’s is because my situation is considered highly unusual. Most people in my age range are married or at least in long term dating relationships, have children, have careers or at least hobbies they can excel at, and have strong friendship networks. Even people younger than me by ten or more years are ahead of me in terms of social progress. I take disappointments and setbacks very hard since time is running out for me.
 
I have a brother. 10 years younger than me he never had a significant relationship. Due to his career involved lots of placements, in foreign countries or rural areas in home country. Never chatted with him where he obsessed about it, actually for a while I wondered about his sexual orientation. quickly dispelled, he did date occasionally just the type of work he did, language barriers and other obstacles made it difficult, Plus I get the impression he likes to be by himself. he seems content to be alone most travelled person. Likes he told me once went from 40 below to 40 above in 24 hours after he quit his job then joined Airforce. He intends to retire in a year, Does not consider life over due to being unable to get in relationship. Either way you have lots of time As I stated before I had an uncle, a dairy farmer. Who found love in late 30's yet died at 98 having been married 50 years.
 
Markness said:
The reason why I return to thinking about my life being over in my 30’s is because my situation is considered highly unusual. Most people in my age range are married or at least in long term dating relationships, have children, have careers or at least hobbies they can excel at, and have strong friendship networks. Even people younger than me by ten or more years are ahead of me in terms of social progress. I take disappointments and setbacks very hard since time is running out for me.
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Tomorrow the sun rises again and a new day begins. Each new day brings with it the opportunity for a new beginning, to write a new story. The pen is in your hand. What will you write?
 
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